The Story of Us
by Dancesterx3
Summary: Sutton's life has been flipped turned upside down. Now she depends on the people in her life to help her make the best of a terrible situation. SEQUEL to HELLO MY NAME IS EMMA. If you haven't read that, please go read that first so you're not lost! :)
1. Chapter 1

Sutton hadn't been out of bed in days since she'd found out about the baby. Occasionally getting up only to go to the bathroom and eat food (which she was doing more than usual.) Now she padded barefoot to the kitchen. She was pulling out everything she could find, cheese, yogurt, fruit, candy bars. She even made herself a bowl of cereal. She was carrying it back on a tray when she passed Laurel in the hallway, "What's with all the food?" Laurel questioned, "Are you feeding a fugitive or something? Oh God, is Ethan in trouble again?"

Sutton shook her head, "No, I'm just hungry. Now leave me alone." She pushed past Laurel and continued to her room.

Laurel spun around, "You've been acting weird lately. What's going on?" Her eyes narrowed as she looked at her sister, waiting for an answer.

Sutton looked back at her adoptive half sister, "Look this whole Sherlock mystery solver act needs to end. Ok? Congrats on finding out about the twins. But my life and what I do is none of your damn business." Then Sutton stormed off, slamming her bedroom door behind her. Laurel sighed, If Sutton wasn't talking then maybe Emma would spill. She thought.

Sutton had just crashed unto her bed, her overwhelming fatigue had seriously been taking a toll on her. All she wanted to do was sleep. As she was drifting, a soft knock on her outside door and she opened her eyes. Outside, Thayer was peeking into her room. She felt her throat close a little. She hadn't seen Thayer in over a week and she'd been deliberately avoiding his calls since she found out she was having his baby. But now he was looking at her, she couldn't ignore him. Slowly, she rose from her bed and opened the latch to the door, allowing the glass to swing in and Thayer to enter the room, "What is going on with you Sutton?" He grilled.

Sutton just padded back to her bed, not looking at him. She shook her head and sat back down on her unmade bed. Thayer plopped beside her and looked at her, "Is something wrong?"

Yes. She wanted to answer. But she didn't even look him. Instead she picked at a loose thread on her comforter. Thayer sighed, "Fine. If this is how you're going to be, I'm done." Then he stood up and headed to the door.

As he was unlatching the door, she stood up, "Wait!" She said putting out her hand. Thayer stopped and turned, "There is something I want to tell you."

Thayer's heart froze but he went back to her bed. she looked down again, beating a steady pace with her foot, she nervously avoided his gaze again. It was moments before anyone spoke, "Ok, are you going to tell me?"

"Hold on. It's important and I'm scared." Sutton said chewing on her thumb nail.

Thayer moved beside her, "What's wrong?" He put his arm around her. He could see now the tears welling up in her eyes. He pulled her into his embrace and for a moment she allowed herself to crash into his weight. Her tears poured down her cheeks and stained his shirt. He pulled her down onto the bed and rocked her, stroking her brown hair. When she finally looked up at him, she was ashamed and embarrassed for not keeping her composure like normal Sutton would have. But ever since Emma came to town, the way she handled emotional situations seemed to change. Thayer pushed her matted hair off her face, " Why are you scared, Sutton?"

Sutton drew in a breath and looked at him. She shook her head, "Every time I do anything with you bad things happen."

Thayer looked confused, "What do you mean?"

"In LA when we slept together, I did it for all the wrong reasons." She felt shame course through her.

"You said this time it wasn't like that. I thought it meant something to you." He locked his fingers with hers and stroked her hand with his thumb.

"It did!" she said, "It meant everything to me."

"But…" He urged her on.

"Nothing. I mean it has nothing to do with that. Sleeping with you meant everything to you." She paused for a moment. Hearing the words in her head but somehow unable to form the words with her mouth, "I'm pregnant, Thayer."

Emma sat at her desk, pulling up her laptop when someone knocked on her door. Laurel poked her head around the corner of Emma's door. When she saw her, Emma smiled, "Oh hey. Come in."

Laurel pushed open Emma's door and walked deeper into her room, "What are you doing?"

Emma typed something into her search engine, "Grades for finals came out today. I wanna see how I did."

Laurel nodded, noticing the smallest differences between Emma and Sutton. How she didn't pick up on it before was beyond her, "Oh, how do you think you did?"

Emma shrugged, "I don't know. I think I did well in History and Science and my English essay was a breeze. But Calc was really hard." as she said this she scrolled down finding her name amongst the list of her other senior peers, "97% Yes!" She threw her hands up in the air and drew in a sigh of relief.

Laurel smiled, "Congrats Emma. You studied hard for that and you're so smart."

"Thank you, Laurel. Anyways, I'm guessing you weren't jumping out of your skin to know my grades. What's up?"

Laurel sat on the end of her sister's perfectly made bed. Emma definitely had a knack for organization and her room always looked like something out of a PB Teen catalogue, "What's up with Sutton lately? I mean I know she's moody like 24/7, but this is different. She's been crying a lot more. Eating more. She's not pregnant is she?" No one could say that Laurel didn't figure things out, but Emma kept quiet. Laurel gasped, "Emma are you serious?"

Again Emma didn't reply. After a moment she looked up, "Why don't we go get some froyo. I really need to celebrate this good grade." She smiled and stood up.

Laurel shook her head, "Oh. My. God. I'm going to be an aunt. Wait, who's the father? Is it Thayer's? It's not Ethan's is it?"

Emma looked at Laurel, "Look it's not my place to talk about it. If Sutton wants you to know she will tell you and trust me, in time she will tell you." She grabbed her keys off the small hook beside her door and turned out her light, "Now are you coming with me?"

Laurel sighed, "Well I ain't saying no to froyo."

Thayer was silent. Nobody said anything. Sutton's heart pounded in her chest. But what was she supposed to do. After several minutes Sutton looked at him, "Thay?"

He shook his head, "No."

"I'm sorry." Sutton whispered. She bit her lip and tried slowing her racing heart.

Thayer looked up, "Ok. We will deal with this. This isn't the end of the world, right?"

Sutton looked at him, glad he was actually speaking to her, "I guess not."

"Alec is going to kill us. Both of us. And what about Rebecca? Does she know?"

Sutton shook her head, "No. Nobody but Emma knows."

Thayer looked at her, "Emma knows?"

"She found me. How was I supposed to lie to her? I needed my sister." Tears welled her eyes again. Memories of that moment flooded her mind.

"So only you, me and Emma know about this?" He confirmed. She nodded, "Ok. Then it needs to stay like that. At least until I figure things out."

"Thayer, I'm going to need to see a doctor. At the very least, Kristen is going to need to know."

"And how do you plan on telling your mom this? Hasn't she been through enough this year?" Thayer had a point. After all of the lies and the back and forth between her and Emma, how could she add more fuel to the fire by dropping a baby bomb on Kristen. But what's done is done. She thought. It's not like they planned on having a baby. It just happened.

Sutton sighed, "I don't know, but eventually she's going to figure it out. I might as well just come clean with her."

Thayer wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head, "We will get through this Sutton." Sutton nodded on his shoulder and closed her eyes, thankful that his reaction was better than what she'd anticipated.


	2. Closer, Faster

Emma pulled her graduation cap over her head, she looked at herself in the mirror. She had been anticipating this day since long before she came to Phoenix. But she'd never imagined that she'd be sharing this moment with the girl standing beside her, "Damn it!" She cursed. She fiddled with the zipper of her dark blue graduation gown. Her brown hair that she had curled for the occasion was cascading around her face.

Emma laughed, "Hold on, Sutton. I'll help you." She reached out for the garment and help jiggle the zipper shut, "There." She smiled.

Sutton looked at her twin, "Thank you." She felt stupid for getting upset over something so trivial, but this pregnancy thing was taking a toll on her in every direction.

Emma nodded, "Here, let's get a picture. This is definitely something I never thought I would ever be doing. Graduating high school with my twin sister." She held up her iPhone and threw her arm around Sutton. The girls smiled as she clicked the camera. Emma looked at the photo, "I love it." She said. Just as she was about to post the photo to her instagram, the bathroom door flew open.

"Guys come on! They're lining up." She was stumbling in her heels and smiling a giddy smile.

Emma grabbed her friend and stabilized her, "Mads, have you been drinking?"

Mads looked at Emma, "No." She said with a serious face. Then she cracked a smile, "Okay, maybe a little bit. I have more. Do you want some?"

Emma looked at Mads, "No. But you better not get caught."

Mads looked at her, "I'm fine, Emma. Come on, it's graduation day! We should be celebrating."

"I think getting a diploma is a huge celebration." Emma said as they arrived back to the group of seniors all lined up ready to process into the large auditorium. Emma gave Mads a hug and congratulated her before heading up the line a little more and doing the same with her sister, only this time she threw in an 'I love you' before heading to the front of the line. She hated that her last name was different than her sisters and that she wouldn't be sitting next to her sister during the ceremony, but at least she was here graduating with Sutton.

As the pomp and circumstance music began, Emma felt her heart flitter. Everyone had turned out to see her, Sutton, Ethan, and Mads graduate. Even Rebecca had come. But still her heart sank wishing her father was still alive to see his babies graduate. Suddenly the group in front of her was beginning to walk and Emma gathered herself. She smiled as she walked into the auditorium. A sea of applause surrounded her as the crowd cheered for the graduates. Emma smiled. Through everything she'd been through, every shitty lifestyle. Every horrible family, it all led her to where she was today. She wished she could look back and catch a glimpse of her sister, but there were far too many students between them.

Sutton stood in the line behind two girls she didn't know but who obviously knew her, "Hey congrats Sutton! Can you believe we made it this far?" Sutton looked at the blond haired girl in the line before her. She had never talked to this girl her entire high school career. But she smiled and congratulated her back. She felt a small flutter in her stomach, her hand immediately reached for it. She still hadn't had the guts to tell Kristen and knew that she needed to tell her soon. After graduation. She thought. Then the line began to move and she shook out her nerves as she followed behind the blond who was laughing with a nerdy looking boy ahead of her. Inside, she immediately began searching the blue caps for her twin. It seemed that everybody around her had someone to share the moment with. Someone to reminisce with. Even though everyone knew Sutton Mercer, Sutton Mercer didn't know anyone at that school outside of her close friends and none of them were close enough in last name to share the moment with. She suddenly felt alone and wished Emma was with her now. She longed to reach out for her sisters hand. To squeeze it as if to say she was sorry, for how she treated her in the past, for not finding her sooner and thanking her for never giving up on her when she easily could have walked out on her. But now she seemed to meld into the crowd and she it was nearly impossible to find her. But when Emma turned around, she smiled catching her sisters gaze. Emma waved and Sutton gave her two thumbs up. Emma made a hand heart and blew Sutton a kiss. Even though she wished she was beside her, Sutton was glad that Emma was with her to share this moment with her.

After the ceremony, Sutton headed out to the pre-discussed meeting area. Emma and Mads were already there snapping selfies and laughing when Sutton arrived. Immediately Emma pulled in her sister, kissing her cheek and posing for a photo, "I am so glad High school is done!" Emma sighed as Laurel and the rest of the family arrived.

Kristen immediately wrapped her arms around Sutton, "Oh sweetheart I'm so proud of you. I can't believe my baby is all grown up." Sutton smiled and thanked her mom. From the side, a jealous Rebecca looked at the interaction between Kristen and her daughter she was clearly taken a back when she heard her calling Sutton _her _baby. But when Sutton was free for a short moment, Rebecca squeezed in, giving her daughter a hug. Even though the hugs between the two were few and far between and often a little bit awkward, it felt right this time. A mother hugging her daughter, a congratulations on a milestone moment in her life. She still couldn't believe that it had been 18 years since these girls were born and when she pulled away she saw a glimmer of a tear in her eye.

"Oh sweetheart, why are you crying?" Rebecca looked at Sutton, concerned for her daughter.

Sutton shook her head, "Nothing." But she blinked back the tears and wiped what had fallen down her cheeks with the crook of her finger.

Rebecca didn't buy it, she pulled her daughter aside and looked at her, "Are you sure nothing is bothering you?"

Sutton thought for a moment, maybe telling Rebecca about the baby wasn't such a bad idea. After all, she'd been in a similar situation when she was pregnant with her and Emma. Sutton looked at Rebecca, "If I tell you something can you please not tell anyone?"

Rebecca nodded, finally glad her daughter was coming to her with her problems and not to Kristen, "Sure, baby. Anything."

Sutton took in a breath and looked over at the group of people she called her family, all gathered laughing, chatting and taking photos, she turned back to Rebecca knowing they were truly alone, "I'm pregnant."

Rebecca stood there for a moment, "You're pregnant?" She repeated. Sutton nodded, "Well does Kristen know about this?" Sutton shook her head. So here she was alone with her daughter, confiding in a problem that she hadn't even told her adoptive mother, "Who's the father?"

Sutton looked down, "Thayer." She confessed quietly.

For a moment Rebecca didn't say anything. Her daughter, closed her eyes letting a few more tears fall down her cheeks, "Does he know?" Sutton nodded, "Sutton you know you are going to need to see a doctor." But when she realized that maybe lecturing her daughter right now wasn't such a good idea, she pulled her into her arms, "Baby, it's going to be okay. I promise it will be alright. Why don't we just try and focus on this now. It's your graduation baby. That's a big deal!"

Sutton smiled and sniffled, "I know." She laughed wiping her tears away.

Rebecca took her daughters hand, "I love you so much Sutton, you know that right?" Sutton nodded and allowed her mom to kiss her cheek.

**So thanks to everyone who found their way to this sequel. I really hope you guys are enjoying it so far. I have some big things in store for this story. Also, I thought it would be fun to give the chapters names of some of my favorite songs. They don't necessarily have to do with the content of the chapter, I just really like the song. So the title of the story is a Taylor Swift song called "The Story of Us" which seemed like a simple fitting title for the story in general. This chapter is a lesser known song by a small band called Against The Current and you can find them on youtube if you are interested in taking a listen! :) Please please review and comment, I really love the feedback. It keeps me eager to put out more chapters for you guys! **


	3. Anywhere With You

Rebecca took Sutton's hand. She'd gone with Sutton to her very first sonogram. Sutton laid back on the paper covered bed. She gripped her birth mother's hand, somehow just knowing that Rebecca had been in this same position before brought some amount of comfort. Rebecca gave her daughter a confident squeeze when the door opened a woman in a long white coat entered the room. Dr. Janowski was monogrammed in blue on the left side of her coat. She gave Sutton a warm smile, "Good morning, Sutton. How are we feeling today?"

Sutton's heart pounded in her chest, nerves seemed to consume her. She swallowed, "Um, I'm good."

Dr. Janowski nodded, "Any nausea or fatigue lately?"

Sutton thought for a moment, "I've been more tired lately."

Dr. Janowski rolled a desk chair up beside the bed Sutton was laying in, "any mood swings?" She asked flipping a paper in the manilla folder with Sutton's name printed across the label.

More the usual? Rebecca wanted to say but she kept quiet and didn't let go of her daughters hand, "Maybe a little bit." Sutton swallowed again, "I'm sorry. I'm just… um. I am just nervous. I don't know how to really do this."

Dr. Janowski smiled, "Don't worry Sutton, you're doing fine. How about we take a look at what's going on in there?" Sutton nodded, "Go ahead and lift up your shirt for me. You don't have to take it off, just move up to right underneath the bra." Sutton sat up and lifted her shirt. This time when she laid down the paper was cool on her back. Dr. Janowski smiled and rolled a small table with a small black and white monitor on it closer to Sutton, facing her so she could see the screen. She grabbed two latex gloves and a long instrument, she put on the gloves and grabbed a bottle of this clear jelly, it reminded Sutton of aloe gel she'd use after a day at the beach, "Ok Sutton this is going to be a little cold, so don't be alarmed." Sutton sighed and stared at the ceiling, there was something about seeing it that scared her, the realism of it all. Dr. Janoski was right, when the cool jelly hit her bare skin, she sucked in her stomach. Then suddenly she felt something like a roller ball moving along her still flat stomach. Sutton hated that soon she wasn't going to have this killer bod anymore. A sound soon filled the room. It sounded like a train underwater. Still Sutton kept her gaze on the ceiling. Now, Dr. Janowski was talking-mostly to Rebecca- about the progress of the baby, "The baby is progressing well."

Sutton closed her eyes wishing that Emma hadn't gone to early orientation this weekend, she really needed her sister here. Rebecca squeezed her daughters hand, "Sweetie look at your baby."

Instinctually, Sutton shook her head, but when Rebecca assured her that everything was okay, Sutton slowly took her gaze from the ceiling panels to the small monitor. A small pent shaped mass sat front and center on the screen. Sutton was captivated, "That's my baby?" She asked only a mere whisper.

Dr. Janowski typed on the small keyboard, suddenly a small circle appeared around the peanut shape, "This is your baby Sutton. Unfortunately, it's still too soon to find out the gender of the baby. But hopefully in the coming weeks we will be able to tell you if you're going to have a son or a daughter."

Sutton thought about this. It was the first time she'd even thought of the baby as a boy or a girl. Up until now it'd always been an it. A baby. A son. I'm not ready for a boy. She thought. But Thayer would want it to be a boy. She closed her eyes, she wished he'd been here with her too but when she called this morning he only ignored her. She hadn't really said much to Thayer since she'd broken the news of the pregnancy a week ago.

In the car, Sutton looked at Rebecca, "Thayer's avoiding me." She said abruptly. Then she looked at her feet, her freshly manicured feet glistened red polish in the sunlight, "I don't want to do this alone." She confess. Sadness and fear consumed her and she felt a hot tear prickle the back of her eyelids.

Rebecca looked at her baby girl, "You're not going to do this alone. Thayer is going to get over this period of shock and realize he needs to step up. I didn't think your dad was going to want anything to do with you and your sister, but he stepped up and raised you."

"Yeah and left Emma to the wolves."

"He didn't leave Emma to the wolves, Sutton. But you know what? The choices I made about your sister are none of your business." Rebecca pulled out onto the interstate traffic.

Sutton rolled her eyes, "I just hope Thayer comes around."

"He will, baby. Are you hungry?"

"Starving. I'm always starving." Sutton said pressing her hand to her stomach.

Rebecca moved across traffic, finding the nearest exit, "Well you're pregnant, Sutton. You're eating for two. Can you imagine eating for three?" Sutton smiled but shook her head. Rebecca cracked a smile, "Well, I can and let me tell you, sometimes I worked in my favor, but it mostly just added more weight to the already pregnant areas."

Sutton still couldn't imagine being pregnant. A fat stomach. Big, swollen ankles. Cravings and mood swings. But most of all she couldn't imagine giving birth. All she'd ever heard was how much labor pains hurt. She looked at her mom, "It's going to hurt isn't it?"

Rebecca pulled into the parking lot at the Cracker Barrel and looked at her daughter, "Is what going to hurt?"

"Giving birth. It's going to hurt." Sutton grabbed her brand new Rebecca Minkoff bag and threw over her shoulder. Soon the luxury of buying designer clothes and handbags were going to be over and replacing it with diapers and baby food.

"To be honest, yes. It's going to hurt. But after you get the epidural you just become numb and the pain goes away."

Sutton looked down at her Michael Kors flats, the gold metal blinded her with the reflection of the sunlight, "I'm really not ready for this."

Rebecca looked at her daughter, even if she was disappointed in her daughter for the choices she'd made. She knew she could't be too hard on her baby girl. After all, she'd only wished her mother had supported her when she was pregnant with the twins. But instead, her mother shunned her, calling her daughters abominations and devil babies, "You are going to be a great mom, Sutton and I'm not going anywhere. I will be there for you through everything."

Sutton looked at Rebecca. Things hadn't always been so great with her birth mother in the past. She'd lied, schemed and pulled Sutton into her web of destruction but somehow Sutton saw past all that. The woman standing before her was just her mother, even if she was a broken picture of what a mother should be, she was her mom. Sutton nodded, "Thank you mom." She reached out and took Rebecca's hand. Her mother gave it a slight squeeze a reassurance that she'd come back for her babies and nothing or no one was going to take them away from her again.

**A/N: So I wanna clear up somethings. I have not forgotten about the whole Thayer being her brother thing. That will be solved relatively soon, I promise. Also, someone commented about the timeline. I noticed that as well. I kinda mixed it up at the end of the last story. It should follow with the timeline that Summer was approaching. If you recall, Emma had been studying for her finals. So having them graduate fit in with that timeline. I accidentally jumped the line by mentioning something about the fall. That was an error on my editing. Sorry about that. But it's summer, the girl's just graduated and now they are about to be going to college. All except Sutton of course. :) Anyways, thanks for reading and for commenting and catching my errors. I should not let so much time pass between chapter updates cause then I forget my time line. :) Keep the comments coming! **


	4. Don't Let Me Fall

Emma looked around at the tiny 13 by 13 foot room that she stood in with the other 13 girls in her orientation group, "This is the standard dorm room in most all of the halls here at Stanford. Each room holds you and one or two other roommates. You will get to decorate your rooms however, you will not be allowed to put holes in the walls. Which means anything you choose to hang on the wall must be attached by tape or 3m strips." Chloe's loud instructor voice echoed in the tiny room.

Though it was small, it held two wooden beds, two large bureau like closets and two desks with chairs. It was smaller than the space Emma had back home at the Mercer's, but all those years in foster homes had prepared Emma for dorm life. She had taken the trip for the weekend with Mads who was still waiting to hear back an acceptance letter. Though Emma silently hoped she would be accepted that way they could share a dorm room together. The rooms also came with a small bathroom and one small vanity area with a sink. She looked at Mads, "I can't wait to decorate one of these." It seemed kind of dorky, but Emma had always dreamt of dorm life. It would be like camp. Getting to decorate her small area, staying up late talking with her roommate. Having late night movie marathons and pulling all-nighter study sessions.

It was late Saturday afternoon and Emma pulled her phone out from her back pocket. Still no missed calls and no new text messages. Emma sighed. "Everything okay?" Mads whispered while Chloe continued to talk about the amenities each of the residence halls had, "You've been checking your phone practically every hour since we got off the plane."

Emma looked at Mads, "I'm just expecting Sutton to call. She was seeing the doctor this morning. I was hoping she'd call me and tell me how things were going."

"Well maybe she's busy with someone else." Mads said, "Plus she knows you're here for orientation, I doubt she'd bother you when you're supposed to be getting acclimated with your new home for the next four years." Emma looked down at her feet. On her feet she wore a stripy pair of Steve Madden sandals. Something about that statement, though it was true, shook Emma the wrong way. She'd only just this year met her twin sister and now she was going to be leaving her again during one of the biggest and scariest times of her sisters life.

However, on the other hand, college had been Emma's dream since before she even got to high school. She couldn't wait to get away from foster families and strict high school rules. She took school seriously because she dreamt of going to a good school. But that was before Sutton came into her life and changed everything. Emma sighed, "Maybe this isn't right for me." She said absent-mindedly to Mads.

Mads shot her a look of horror, "What are you talking about Emma? You've been talking about going to college since I met you. How could this not be right for you?"

Emma shrugged, "I don't know." By now, they were moving down the hallway, Chloe still lecturing about athletic teams, "That was before Sutton. And it was definitely before the baby."

Mads shook her head, "Sutton's a big girl. She is going to be fine, but you need to think about yourself Emma. Do you want to be stuck in Phoenix for the rest of your life?"

"No. But at least I will be close to my sister and to my niece or nephew. I'm going to miss so much if I go here." Emma sighed thinking about everything she would miss if she moved to Stanford for the next four years. Every first word, first step. She didn't want to be a non-existent Aunt and she definitely wanted to be there to support her sister in every way possible, "I mean, I got into The University of Arizona. I mean it's not Stanford but at least I will be close to Sutton and the baby."

Mads put a hand on her friends shoulder forcing her to stop walking and her chocolate brown eyes glared into Emma's lighter brown eyes, "I love you Emma. I understand wanting to be a good aunt to this baby. Don't you think I haven't thought about that? This baby is my niece or nephew too. But I have to think about my life too. You've been dreaming about Stanford since you applied. How could you pass up such an incredible school for a mediocre one just to be close to Sutton and the baby? School does have holidays you know. Plus all summer break. But you've got to think about you. What do you want?"

Emma huffed, Mads had a point. She was putting her life on hold for her sister. But then again she loved Sutton and she loved the baby. She knew that Mads loved Thayer and the baby too, but she'd grown up with Thayer. Emma didn't get to grow up with Sutton, "I don't know." She confessed.

"Ok, let me ask you this, if Sutton hadn't gotten knocked up, would you still be wavering over coming here?"

Emma took a moment looking at the linoleum tiled floor, "No. I guess not. I just don't want to miss more time with Sutton. I feel like I just got here. I was just getting to know her."

"You are always going to have her, Emma. I agree that timing sucks. You haven't gotten to really spend time her. But you have the rest of your life. It's just four years. Think of how fast four years is going to go by."

Emma looked at her, "Think that when we graduate our siblings are going to have a toddler on their hands."

Mads nodded, "Very true. It's really hard to think of Thayer having a baby. And Sutton either for that matter. That girl values sleep way too much to be a mom."

Emma nodded in agreeance, "I can attest to this." Then she sighed, "I mean, I _do _want to come here. But I don't want Sutton to think I am abandoning her."

"If Sutton thinks that you should give up your life to take care of her mistakes then that's her fault. She should be supportive of you and your decisions. After all, you're not the one who got pregnant." The girls began walking now, they'd gotten so far away from their group and they wondered if anybody had noticed that they'd gone missing.

"I know that. I just want to be a good sister."

"Emma you are a good sister and Sutton should realize that. But this is _your _life. You know that if she wasn't pregnant, you'd be here eager to move in and start taking classes."

"Right, but if she hadn't gotten pregnant, Sutton could have been here too."

Then Mads burst into laughter, "Look, Sutton's not stupid. But there's no way that girl would get into Stanford. I don't even know if she could get into University of Arizona. That's definitely something you two don't have in common."

Emma twisted her mouth, Mads did have a point. Even if Sutton hadn't gotten pregnant she may still not have been accepted to Stanford. Emma sighed, "Alright you have a point. It's just going to be hard. Feeling like I just got everything I'd been wanting for 17 years and then having to turn around and leave it all in less than a year? It's not going to be easy. But hopefully you'll get accepted and then it won't be so hard." Emma gave Mads a positive, hopeful smile.

"Yeah, maybe." Mads smiled back.

Sutton grabbed her glass of lemonade that Kristen had just made from her lemon tree she planted last summer. She wore a large floppy hat, a coral and pink bikini and oversized aviator sunglasses. She tucked a copy of the most recent Cosmo under her arm and carried her large PINK brand towel in the other. Her hot pink rubber flip flops flapped against her heels as she headed out the back door to catch some of the first rays of summer, "Where are you going?" Kristen's voice from the living room cut through the silence of the house.

Sutton looked up, "I'm going to the mall mom. Where do you think I'm going?" Sutton snapped. Though it was somewhat normal for Sutton Mercer to be on the snappy side, she didn't intend for it this time to come out so bitchy.

"I don't know anymore Sutton. Ever since you got your license and a car, telling me where you are going and what you are doing has become thing of the past. I feel like I barely know my own daughter anymore."

Sutton looked at her adoptive mother. Some times she felt like Kristen did nothing but smother her, always wanting to know every detail of Sutton's life. But this time, it felt genuine, "I'm going to tan, is that ok with you?"

Kristen smiled, "Yeah, sweetheart. How does the lemonade taste? I made it this morning."

Sutton took a sip, "Ahh, refreshing." The she turned on her heel and headed out the back door.

The Arizona sun pounded on Sutton, but she soaked it up anyways. If a baby was going to mess up the hardcore body she'd spent years achieving, she was going to at least have one vanity that the baby wouldn't take from her. A nice golden brown tan.

While Sutton tanned, Kristen began a few chores. She looked out the back window, Sutton had called asleep in the bamboo lawn chair and she took that moment to tidy up her daughters room.

Though Sutton tried keeping her room cleaned, she usually left her dirty clothes strewn across her room, knowing that her mom would always come around to clean it up, "Oh Sutton," Kristen said to herself, "I do wish you'd clean up after yourself." She gathered up enough of Sutton's clothes for at least two loads of laundry. She tossed the clothes into a hamper and placed it outside her bedroom door to take to the laundry room on her way out.

Kristen looked at the clutter of things on the desk, she began straightening out the assorted school books and papers, putting her jewelry back in Sutton's mirrored Jewelry chest. She was just finishing up her cleaning when a small paper bag caught her eye. It was covered up by a stack of papers, but Kristen pulled it out. It was a small pharmacy bag. Sutton's name on the receipt stapled to the bag. Inside was a small orange pill container, Kristen looked at it. What is this? She asked herself. But when she recognized the medicine on the label, the bag and the bottle fell to the floor. Kristen sat at her daughter's desk suddenly unable to breathe.

**A/N: So just incase you guys were wondering, I have never had any kids. I am basing my gynocology experience off of when friends visit and what I've gathered from the plethora of baby pregnancy related television shows I've watched. I have, however, experienced dorm life. So I think it will be a lot easier to write about that. :) Anyways, hope you enjoyed. Left you guys with a little cliffie. What will happen now that Kristen's inadvertently discovered that her 17 year old daughter is pregnant? Leave comments below and let me know what you would do in Kristen's situation! And as always thanks for reading. Hope you guys enjoyed my double updates. It's now 1:30 in the morning and I am off to bed! Xx **


	5. Staring At It

Emma rolled over in the hotel bed, the clock on the table read 7:08 am. It was Monday morning and she and Mads had an afternoon flight back home. She grabbed her phone off the charger on the table and turned it on. No missed calls. No new text messages. She sighed and decided to text to her sister: _Hey, why the silent treatment this weekend? _Suddenly she felt that might have been too harsh on her sisters hormonal emotions so she added a side smiley face hoping the emoticon would signal to Sutton that she wasn't mad. Then she watched as the message sent and the blue bubble pop up on her screen. _Delivered. _She set the phone back down and wondered if Sutton was even up this early on a non-school day. Emma turned on her side, tucking her arm under her head and looked over at Mads who was still passed out. She closed her eyes and tried to get a few more minutes of sleep.

She didn't know how long she'd been asleep for when the vibration sound of her phone woke her, Sutton? She wondered. She grabbed the phone and looked at it. New message from Sutton. Emma smiled and swiped the icon to open the message. _No. Sorry. I didn't mean to ignore you. Just wanted you to have fun. Come home soon. ILY. Xx. _Sutton always signed her texts with double kisses. Emma smiled and began to run her fingers over the touch screen keyboard, _We had a blast. But I wish you were here. We will be flying in this evening around 6, will you be at the airport? _This time she sent it and didn't go back to sleep. Talking with Sutton was like talking to a new friend. After the drama with Rebecca and Ethan and Thayer, Emma finally got her chance to have a friendship with her sister. Emma looked at the clock, she knew if they slept any longer, they would miss any hope of breakfast anywhere. She got up and walked to the bathroom, turning on the shower while Mads still slept soundly.

Sutton turned in her bed, that fluttering feeling was back and was keeping her from being able to sleep. She sat up and looked at her phone, one new text message from Emma. Sutton sighed but opened the message anyways, _We will be flying in this evening around 6, _it read. She pushed off the comforter from her slender tanned legs. Immediately, the cool AC hit her warmed skin and she grabbed her robe off the coat rack and headed to her bathroom. She turned on the water for a shower, letting the steam warm her body back up. She took off her clothes and grabbed her phone to reply to her sisters text, _Of course. Wanna do dinner when you get here? I have something I wanna show you. _Then she hit send and pulled open the glass door of her shower.

Emma had just shut the water off when her phone buzzed, she wrapped the bright white hotel towel around her body and grabbed the iPhone, she read her sisters reply and smiled, _sure? Something fun. I have so much to tell you! Can't wait to see what you got to show me! I love you! See you tonight! _Then she grabbed her pajama's up from the floor and opened the bathroom door. Steam filled the outside room as her body reacted to the ice cold air hitting her heated skin. By now, Mads was up. She was putting her clothes back into her louis vuitton suitcase and watching an episode of Real Housewives of Orange County, "Honestly, these women are such a disgrace. I swear Rebecca would fit in so well with these women." Then she realized the insensitivity of her words and looked at Emma, "Oh, Emma. I'm sorry. I forget that she's your mom sometimes and-"

Emma smiled, "No, it's fine. Honestly, I don't disagree. I think she would fit in well. After all, she likes lying, scheming and getting anything she wants." Emma said pulling out her only clean outfit, a blue floral printed romper and her gold strapped sandals she got with Sutton on her spontaneous trip to New Mexico. When Mads entered the bathroom for her shower, Emma took the opportunity to put her outfit on. She grabbed her hair products from her makeup bag and applied the leave-in conditioner to her damp hair. It was definitely a habit she'd picked up from Sutton and her friends that your after shower products were just as important as the shampoo and conditioner you used in the shower. She combed her hair and began to blow dry her hair. Just as she was finishing up straightening her hair, Mads was coming out of the shower.

While Mads copied pretty much the exact process that Emma had just gone through, Emma started packing the last few things she'd left out, "It always seems like you come home from a trip with more things than you left with." Emma said, pulling out a Stanford hoodie she'd bought from the school's bookstore during Orientation. Inside the bag she looked at a similar hoodie she'd picked up for Sutton and a onesie she grabbed for her little or nephew so that they could support their Auntie Emma's school.

"Well you did go a little crazy with all the stuff you bought at the bookstore." Mads said applying some lip balm to her bottom lip.

Emma rolled her eyes, "I know, I just want everyone to feel the school spirit. Plus how cute is this?" She said holding up the little onesie that said 'Future Stanford Cardinal.' Mads smiled and agreed that it was a cute outfit, "But seriously. I just want Sutton to know that I am thinking about her. This has to be hard for her. Going through a pregnancy and watching everyone she knows going off to college knowing she should be decorating a dorm room too and not a nursery." The girls finished getting ready and packed their rental car taking the last few hours to scope the town, to get ideas of local things to do on weekend nights.

It was late afternoon and Sutton was laying in bed, she'd been extra tired since the pregnancy and napped any chance she got. Suddenly a knock startled her, "Whaaat?" she groaned.

"Sutton?" It was Kristen, her voice was soft, "Can I talk to you sweetheart?"

Sutton rolled over on her back and then sat up, pressing into the pillows behind her, "What?" She said as Kristen came into the room and sat on her bed.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" She said, keeping calm.

Sutton looked down and her hands that laid on her lap, Yes. She thought, "No."

"Are you pregnant Sutton?"

Sutton shot a look of shock at her mother's accusation's, even if she was right, how the hell did she find out? It wasn't like she was showing or acting any different than she normally did, "What? Why the hell would you think I was pregnant?"

Then Kristen unfolded her hands, exposing the small bottle of prenatal vitamins Rebecca picked up for her after her trip to the gynecologist. Immediately Sutton snatched it up, unsure of what to say. So she looked at the bottle, "I found them while I was cleaning your room. Sutton, how? I mean I know how, but how could you have let this happen?"

Guilt washed over Sutton's face and she looked down, "I didn't mean for it to happen, mom."

"Is Ethan the father?"

"What? No, mom. He's with Emma now. It's Thayers."

Kristen nodded her head, "Why didn't you tell me? Were you ever going to tell me?"

"Of course, mom. But I didn't want to disappoint you. I've already disappointed you by being a terrible daughter." A tear trickled down Sutton's face and even though Sutton had used this kind of guilt trip in the past to get out of trouble, this time it was truthful and honest. She knew that after Emma had come around and been the daughter that Sutton never was, she had treated her family poorly. Not to mention that whole trying to break up her family for her birth mother fiasco. She truly did feel bad that she'd done some pretty horrible things to Kristen in the past and hurting her like this, seeing the look of shame in her mothers eyes seemed to kill her.

Kristen wrapped her arms around her daughter, "Oh sweetheart, you don't disappoint me. I just wish you felt like you didn't have to hide this from me." Sutton rested her head on her mom's shoulder and squeezed her eyes shut. Tears trickled down her cheek and splashed on Kristen's clothing.

"I'm sorry, mom." She whispered into her mom's shoulder.

"Oh baby. It's alright. I love you and I want what's best for you." Sutton smiled. Even though she didn't feel like she deserved it, she knew she was lucky for having so many people in her life who cared about her. She knew that these people were going to be the rock that got her through this time in her life.

When she pulled out of the hug she looked at her phone, "Shit, what time is it?" She said.

"Quarter after 5, why?" Kristen said checking her watch.

"I told Emma I'd pick her and Mads up at 6. I need to go." She threw off the blanket and jumped out of bed, but suddenly felt dizzy and put her hand out. Kristen reached up and grabbed her hand.

"Sutton are you okay?" Kristen asked, worried.

Sutton pressed a hand to her eyes, "Yeah, I just got dizzy, I'm fine now." Then she grabbed her keys off her vanity.

"Please be careful Sutton. I know I always say it and I mean it every time. I mean it triple now. You're carrying a baby now. You need to take care of that little one." Then she gave Sutton a kiss and walked out with her as Sutton headed out to her car. She knew her mother meant well, but it wasn't like she didn't already hear all of this from Rebecca the other day at the gyno's office.

Emma had just finished the last touches of her makeup when the plane landed at the Phoenix airport. She pulled out her phone and sent Sutton a text message, _Just landed. Be out soon. _Emma grabbed her carryon bag and stood up with Mads waiting while the passengers began to exit the plane.

In the lobby, Sutton took a seat at the terminal where the large departure board informed her of where her sister's flight would be unboarding from. She watched as a dozen strangers passed by her, until a familiar voice shouted her name. Sutton stood up and embraced her sister in a hug like it was the first time they'd met, "How was the trip?"

"Fantastic." Emma said as they began heading towards baggage claim.

"Stanford definitely has some good looking men." Mads said readjusting her black Chanel tote on her shoulder.

"Figures you'd go there to scope the man candy. what happened to Jordan?"

Mads let out a laugh, "Jordan? Please. After this summer, Jordan's going to be done. I'm not going away to college in a long distance relationship."

Emma looked at Mads then at Sutton, "So how was it here?"

"Boring. Not a lot happened. But I did go to the doctors office."

Emma's face lit up, "Yeah? How was it?"

Sutton shrugged, "I don't know, it was weird at first. But then I saw it, my baby."

Emma's face beamed, "You did? That's incredible Sutton."

Sutton looked at her twin and couldn't help but smile, "Yeah. I brought my sonogram pictures."

"Let's see!" Both Mads and Emma said in unison.

While the girls waited for their bags to come around, Sutton pulled out three little pictures. She showed Mads and Emma the little peanut mass, "That's the baby, do you see it?" She said.

Emma put a hand to her mouth, "Oh my god, Sutton. That is incredible. Look how tiny it is. You don't know the gender yet?"

Sutton shook her head, "No, my doctor said we won't be able to tell for another few months."

"Do you want a boy or a girl?" Mads said clutching the tiny photo in her hands. For the first time, Mads realized that this baby was her niece or nephew. It seemed too real looking at the sonogram.

Sutton looked back at her copy of the photo, "I don't know. I mean I think it would be pretty cool to have a baby girl. I could dress her up and put her in pageants. But I know Thayer would want a son to play ball with and teach him how to golf. I just want it to be healthy ya know?"

Emma nodded, "I know, but please don't put my niece in pageants. Don't be one of _those _moms."

"One of what moms?" Sutton said. Just then the bags had begun to make their way around the carousel, and Emma pulled her bags off as they passed by.

"One of those pageant moms. Why do you have to teach her that the only thing that matters in life is having a pretty face?"

"I'm not. I don't know what I will do when I have a daughter. I just think the dresses are so cute." She grabbed a few of Emma's bags when she realized Emma couldn't carry it all.

"You've been watching too much Toddlers and Tiara's, that's your problem. You should watch more Jeopardy. Aspire for your child to have a brighter future."

"Ok Emma, I get it. Can we drop this?" Sutton snapped.

Emma looked at her sister, "Ok, I'm sorry."

Sutton's face softened, "It's okay. Let's just go get food. I'm starving."

"Yeah sure, what did you have in mind?" By now they'd reached Sutton's car and they piled their luggage into the back before climbing into the BMW.

"I saw this cool looking Tapas bar on the way in, you said you wanted something fun. What's more fun than a Tapa's Bar?" Sutton said backing out from her space.

"A topless bar?" Mads chimed in.

"That depends." Emma said, "I mean I don't find a topless female to be all that entertaining, but a hunky topless man?" She rubbed her hands together, "Bring it on."

**A/N: I keep forgetting to tell you guys what the songs are in my titles in case you wanna check them out. **

**Anywhere With You is by Jake Owen**

**Don't Let Me Fall is By Alex Goot **

**Staring At It is by Safetysuit**

**I have a very wide taste in music. :)**

**Please please please leave a comment! I looove feedback. I'm also not too proud to beg! ;)**


	6. Two Is Better Than One

"I don't know." Sutton sat in the lobby at Dr. Janowski's office. This time, Thayer and Emma had tagged along. If Sutton's calendar was correct, she'd be almost twelve weeks pregnant. Though she didn't think about it much, it was weird every time she felt that little flutter in her belly. Some people describe it as butterflies in your stomach, that feeling you got when you are nervous. But it wasn't butterflies; or nerves. It was a baby. A human being, growing, developing, inside of her and sometimes when she sat back and thought about it it was mind blowing, "I really want a little girl. But it doesn't matter, we won't find out for a while."

Emma smiled, "It's still fun to think about it. I'm actually excited!" She clapped her hands, "I can't wait to see my little niece or nephew." Just as she was saying that, the door swung open and a young woman in scrubs called Sutton's name. The three of them stood up and followed the nurse back down a hallway to a small empty room. Two chairs separated by a small side table sat along one side of the wall. The paper lined examining bed came out in a diagonal from the back corner, and next to it, the same small table with the monitor, "Dr. Janowski will be in in a moment." The nurse said with a smile. When she closed the door, Sutton sat up on the examining bed. Even if it was a gynecologist's offices, it still gave Sutton the willies. Something about doctors offices and they smelled always gave Sutton that weird feeling. She looked at Emma who gave her twin a reassuring smile.

"Come over here." She said to Emma. She pointed to the other side of the bed.

"Are you okay?" Emma asked as she moved towards where her sister instructed.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Sutton said looking around the room.

"Don't you think Thayer, being the father and all, should be here with you." Emma asked when Sutton grabbed her hand.

"Yeah. I'm good over here." Thayer said putting up his palms. Emma let out a laugh.

The door to the examining room opened and Dr. Janowski entered. She stopped at the sight of Emma and blinked hard, "You didn't tell me you had a twin sister, Sutton." She smiled.

Sutton looked at Emma, "Yeah, I didn't know it myself til a few months ago." She gave Emma's hand a squeeze and Emma reciprocated.

"Like a long lost twin, huh?" Dr. Janowski said pulling the small chair up against Sutton's bed.

Sutton nodded, "Yeah, something like that."

"What's your name long lost sister?"

"Oh, Um. Emma. I'm Emma." She said. She didn't know why introducing herself felt so odd. Maybe because she'd gotten used to identifying herself as her sister.

"Well, Hello, Emma. Are you excited for Sutton." Dr. Janowski asked as she put on a pair of latex gloves.

Excited wasn't exactly Emma's choice of words. Was she excited to be an aunt? Sure. But under the circumstances? The fact that Sutton is only 17 years old and has her whole life ahead of her? Not so much. Still Emma smiled and nodded, "Yeah. I guess so."

"That's Thayer, he's the father." Sutton said when she realized she hadn't even properly introduced her own boyfriend.

Dr. Janowski turned and looked at Thayer, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there." She said with a laugh.

Thayer gave her a smile, "That's okay. I easily blend in with things."

"Well would you like to join us? Come look at your baby?" Dr. Janowski asked gesturing towards Emma. Though Thayer realized the extent of all of this, it still hadn't hit him that this was all him. Him and Sutton. He shook his head and sat down. Dr. Janowski looked back to Sutton, "Well then, how are we feeling this week, Sutton? Any new symptoms?"

Sutton shook her head, "Nope. Other than some tenderness in the breasts."

"That's definitely going to be normal. Have you been having any cravings? Mood swings?" Sutton shook her head, "No more than usual?" Sutton nodded, "Alright then, let's go ahead and lay back and lift up your shirt, let's get a look at what's cooking'!" Sutton did as she was told and grabbed Emma's hand once again, "well you're definitely beginning to look a little pregnant. You can see a significant difference than last months visit."

Great. Sutton thought. It's still bikini season. I'm not ready for a poodge of any kind. She knew this kind of thing was going to happen. But somehow she hadn't wrapped her head around it just yet. Part of her wasn't ready to part with her bikini body for a pregnancy. But the moment she heard that noise again, the same underwater train noise from her first visit, it seemed like nothing mattered anymore. She looked at Emma, her twin stood there, eyes fixated on the monitor, "That's the heartbeat?" She asked curiously.

"Yes. That is the babies heartbeat." Dr. Janowski said, moving the small wand across Sutton's stomach.

Emma looked at Thayer, "You hear that?" She questioned, "That's the babies heart beat." Thayer didn't say anything. As a matter of fact, he looked disconnected from the whole thing, he gave Emma a half smile and a slight nod. But deep down, he was pushing the sound as far out of his mind as he could.

Dr. Janowski looked at Sutton, "The baby is developing right on track. You are just about 13 weeks along, so hopefully at your next appointment, we will have a gender." Sutton's heart dropped, she'd been thinking a lot about the gender of her baby. She desperately hoped for a baby girl. But ultimately as long as the baby was healthy it didn't matter if it was a boy or a girl. But still she hoped.

When the appointment was over, Sutton thanked Dr. Janowski again and pulled her shirt down, "This is getting too real." she said.

Emma put her arm around her sisters shoulder, "It is real." She said letting her head fall onto her shoulder.

Sutton rested hers against her sisters, "So Thay, what do you think? You barely said a word the whole time."

Thayer shrugged, "What am I supposed to say? Oh wow, how cool?"

Sutton sat up and looked at him, "Thayer, this is your child. Is that not cool?"

Thayer looked away, "I don't know, Sutton. Can we just go?"

Sutton looked at Emma who just shrugged, "yeah fine." She said standing up. Emma followed and grabbed her purse off the chair.

Later that afternoon, Sutton and Emma laid on Sutton's bed, they weren't really talking much, but Sutton looked at her twin, "What was with Thayer today?" She asked fighting the fact that his response to the ultrasound visit was not what she'd expected or hoped for.

"I have no idea. But it was weird. It was like he couldn't get out of there fast enough."

Sutton sat up, placing a hand on her belly, "I mean this is just as much his baby as it is mine. Why wouldn't he want to be a part of this?" She felt a single tear slip down her cheek.

Emma sat up and looked at Sutton, "I don't know, but he better get his shit together or I will kill him."

Sutton closed her eyes but smiled a little bit, "Stop it. Don't say that. With all these people close to us turning up dead, it's probably not a good idea to joke about that."

Emma nodded, "Very true. But why don't we forget about Thayer and get some frozen yogurt. Just us. We haven't done that in a while." She stood up and extended a hand to help her sister up.

Sutton looked up at her, "Sure offer the pregnant girl food. You know she can't say no."

"Well then I'll just take Laurel instead if you're gonna be like that." Emma said turning on her heel.

"No! Wait! I wanna go." Sutton pouted.

Emma cracked a smile and turned around extending her hand and grabbing her sisters, pulling her to her feet, "Ok fine. You're driving."

Sutton pouted, "But I'm pregnant." she whined jokingly.

Emma rolled her eyes, "Just cause you're pregnant doesn't make you useless." she said as she grabbed her sisters keys.

**A/N: Sooo. I have to say that I am utterly shocked and upset about the cancellation. However, fans have been rallying (well since the end of last season) for a renewal. They started a petition on and it looks like they've peaked the interest of Netflix. So it's possible that they may pick it up. But nothing is set in stone yet. However, I will not be giving up on this story like ABCFamily gave up on us. I don't know what the hell they are thinking. But I could literally rail on for days about how stupid they are and how they run their shows. But I digress. I will not be giving up on this story, so please don't give up on me. Hopefully, I can somehow fulfill that missing gap where The Lying Game used to be. Please review. Thanks for reading! :)**

**Also, if you'd like to be part of getting The Lying Game picked up by another network you can sign the petition here: en-GB/petitions/abc-family-bring-back-the-lying-ga me**


	7. Can't Help

Sutton rolled over, her stomach growled. Groggily she opened her eyes and grabbed her phone. She looked at the time 7:10 am. Ok, look. She thought. If I am going to lose sleep when the baby is born, can I please relish in the fact that I have it now? Her stomach growled again, she looked down at it, "Shut up." But she pushed the covers off her and stood up. The house was silent. The sun had barely risen over the mountains and the house was dimly lit. Sutton looked down the hall, Emma's door was still shut, she knew that she would still be asleep at this hour, but still she wanted to talk to her. She padded barefoot to the kitchen and opened the fridge, grabbing a strawberry greek yogurt and returning back to her room.

She'd just taken a bite when an envelope taped to her outside door caught her attention. She placed her yogurt on her vanity and went to her door. She unlatched it and watched as it swung open, she looked around the yard, but no one was around. She grabbed the envelope and shut her door. The outside simply said "Sutton" she flipped it over and pulled out a single sheet of paper. She eyes gazed over the sloppy handwriting. It looked like Thayer's. She flipped the paper over and found the signature. Sure enough it was from Thayer. She flipped the paper over again.

_Dear Sutton,_

_There really is no easy way to say this. I need you to know how much I love you. I fell for you in LA. Even before you slept with me the first time. There was always something so captivating about you. Something in you I admired. But when all the drama with Ethan happened, I knew I would never get the chance to be with you. So naturally when you came around the second time, I wasn't going to let that chance pass by. And when we made love, the second time, it was everything to me, Sutton. You were everything to me. Then the baby happened. _

_I've thought long and hard about this. I've lost sleep over this. But today sealed the deal. Sutton, I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready to be a father. I couldn't bring myself to look at the mistake we made, Sutton. Hearing the babies heartbeat was too much. So I'm going away, Sutton. I need to get my life together. I can't think about being a father. I need to fix my own life first. So please understand that I'm not trying to hurt you. I love you so much and I know you're going to make a wonderful mother. This child is going to be so lucky to have you for a mom and Emma, Laurel and Mads as aunts. _

_Please don't try and find me. I left my phone behind, please don't try and call me. I'm so sorry for everything I've done. But I need to do this for me._

_I love you so much Sutton, I know it doesn't seem like it, but I do. Please take care of yourself and our baby. _

_Love,_

_Thayer Rybak_

Sutton felt the paper fall from her hands, she shook her head and suddenly her knees got weak, she fell to the floor and heaved, "No. No, no, no, no." She said. She looked out the window, hoping maybe he'd be there, waiting for her to realize it was all a joke. But when he wasn't, her heart sank. How could he do this to me? She thought. Her hand immediately found the spot where her baby was. How could he just leave like this? Sutton sat up on her bed, She tried to comprehend what she'd just read. This came straight out of left field. One minute he's telling her that they will get through this, the next he's running as far away from the problem as he could. She reached for her phone, wishing he'd call her, wishing she could tell him that she needed him. She wasn't ready to have a baby alone.

She didn't know how long she'd been sitting on her bed staring at her closet. She'd run over his words over and over in her mind. Trying to make sense of it all. But all there was to make sense of was the fact that Thayer is gone. Not knowing if he'd ever come back. She was alone now. A single mother. Suddenly a knock startled her, she looked up and saw Emma poking her head around the door. The room was brighter now, the sun poured in through the window, "Hey, are you okay?" Emma asked moving to her sisters bed. Sutton didn't reply, instead she handed Emma the letter. Emma took it and began to read, "No." She protested when she finished, "Sutton he can't do this to you." She said turning to her twin. But Sutton felt numb, unable to move.

"Ya think?" She said quietly, "But what can I do about it? I can't call him, I have no idea where he went or if he'll ever be back and in the mean time, I'm having his baby." tears poured down Sutton;'s cheeks and Emma brushed them away, pulling her sister into her embrace.

"What a fucking bastard!" She exclaimed. Anger surged through Emma and she wasn't even the pregnant one. But seeing Sutton like this, killed her, "No wonder he was so distant yesterday."

Sutton shook her head, "It doesn't fucking matter. It's done. I can't do this, Emma."

Emma looked at her sister, "What do you mean you can't do this? Sutton, you have to. You have no other choice."

Sutton rolled her eyes, "that's what you think." She said under her breath.

"Sutton, what are you talking about?" Emma said looking at her sister.

Sutton looked at her for the first time since Emma came in the room, "Nothing. Can you please just leave? I don't feel like talking about this right now."

Emma looked at Sutton, hurt by her request, "Yeah, ok." she said quietly as she got up. She walked to the door, and before leaving she stopped and looked back at her sister, "He's as asshole, Sutton. But you can do this. I know you can." Then she left, closing the door behind her.

Sutton laid back against her pillows and looked at Thayer's letter again, she sighed as she tossed it aside. Maybe Emma had faith in her, but Emma wasn't the one that was going to to be raising a child alone. She closed her eyes, hoping maybe someone could take her back in time. Maybe she wouldn't have slept with Thayer that day if she knew he'd chicken out and run like a scared little boy.


	8. Even If It Breaks Your Heart

Emma sipped her passionfruit tea she'd pick up from Starbucks on her way to the mall. The summer sun beat down on her shoulders and she craved a cold beverage instead of coffee. She'd planned to meet up with Mads to start college dorm shopping. Mads finally got her acceptance letter and they were able to snag a room together. So they decided to shop for decor together so that the room didn't clash.

Emma was looking at a bedspread in anthropologie when her phone buzzed in her back pocket, she pulled it out. A message from Mads: On My way, running late. She slipped her phone back in her pocket and moved to the bathroom section of the store. She enjoyed the peaceful alone time, but couldn't wait to start really decorating her room. She picked up a set of two square candles made to look like tree bark. Something about it made Emma smile, she decided to hold on to it until Mads showed up.

When Mads finally arrived, she looked winded and tired, "What's wrong?" Emma asked when Mads come up to her short of breath.

"I'm late, traffic sucks and…" She looked down at Emma's Starbucks cup, "You got coffee without me."

Emma put the green straw to her lips, "Not coffee, tea and I will go with you to get coffee. Why are you so out of breath?"

Mads put a hand on the display table and the other to her heart, "It's been crazy this morning. Thayer took off."

Emma nodded, "I know, he left a note outside Sutton's window. Said he wasn't ready to be a father."

Mads shook her head, "that little bastard. How is she taking it?"

Emma shrugged,she set down the candles she'd been holding, "She isn't really, she was completely in shock this morning."

Mads just kept shaking her head, "what an asshole. I swear, if he ever comes back here, I'm going to kill him."

Emma sipped the last of her tea and picked her candles up again, they moved to another display table of soap dispensers and lotions, Emma picked up a lime green paisley printed soap dispenser, "Yeah well that makes two of us. What do you think about this for the bathroom?"

Mads made a face and Emma put the dispenser back down, "I like this one." she said lifting an all glass dispenser.

Emma looked at it, "I like it. Did you have a specific theme you want to do or just things that look cute?"

Mads looked back at the dispenser, "I'm not sure. I haven't thought about themes, but we can find pieces that all look good together. Doesn't really have to a certain theme."

"Yeah, true." Emma said as she made her way to the shower curtains hanging alongside the wall, the pulled out a white ruffled linen shower curtain, "What about this?"

Mads turned and looked at what Emma was holding, "Yeah, it's plain, but I like the ruffles. Sutton would love that. Can we get coffee? I'm in need of a serious caffeine kick."

"Yeah, I could use a muffin." Emma said pushing her bag up on her shoulder and headed out of the anthropologie with Mads.

Sutton sat back against the inner tube, a freshly squeezed lemonade pressed to her lips. She dipped her freshly painted toes in the cool pool water and relaxed. Even if it looked like from the outside she was living the high life truth was she was breaking down inside. It was all Sutton could do from mentally breaking down. Justin Timberlake's new album pounded on the radio over the high quality stereo system, Ted had installed last summer for Sutton's back-to-school pool party. She closed her eyes.

_A little brown haired blue eyed toddler ran out from the Mercer house, a nautical themed one piece swimsuit adorned her tiny body, her curly brown hair bounced in the ponytail her grandmother had just pulled up for her, "Mommy!" The child shouted. _

_Sutton looked up from her floaty, "Can I help you?" She said, a confused look on her face. She looked around, everything still looked the same, the radio still blasted the Justin Timberlake album she was listening to. _

_ The child stood at the edge of the pool looking at Sutton, "Can I join you momma?" She asked, pressing her hands in a 'please' motion._

_Sutton looked at the child, she had called her mom twice, no. That's not right, she didn't even know the gender of her baby yet, she hadn't even given birth yet. How could this child be standing at the side of her pool? Sutton sat up and paddled to the edge of the pool, "Sure." She said extending a hand to help the girl onto the floaty. The little girl cuddled into the crook of Sutton's arm, little hairs stuck out of her ponytail tickled Sutton's chin and she smelled like baby shampoo, "So" Sutton started, unsure of how to talk to a child, much less what to say, "What's your name?" _

_The little girl looked up at her and smiled, "Silly mommy, you know my name." She said._

_"I know," Sutton covered. She'd never seen this child a day in her life, "I…um, I want to see if you know it."_

_The little girl looked at Sutton in an understanding way, "I'm Hadley Alexandra Mercer." She announced proudly._

_Mercer. Sutton's last name was Mercer. Sutton looked at the child, "Where is your daddy?" She asked._

_Suddenly the girl looked sad, she shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know. Do you know where he is?"_

_Sutton thought about her question for a moment, then she remembered Thayer's note. Sutton looked at Hadley, "How old are you, Hadley?"_

_Hadley held up four fingers, "I'm four. I'm not five yet." She frowned and then looked at Sutton, "When I'm five I get to wear my pincess dress, right mommy?" Sutton had no idea what this little girl was talking about but she nodded anyways. Hadley smiled at her mom and then put her head on Sutton's chest. A sudden warmth ran through Sutton and she wrapped her arm around the little girl, "Mommy?"_

_"Yes?" There was something so weird about responding to that name._

_"Daddy doesn't love me, does he?" She asked softly, putting a thumb in her mouth. Sutton looked at her daughter, honestly she didn't know what to say to Hadley. Half of her didn't know how to answer the question, "If he loved me, he'd be here, right?"_

_"I am sure your dad loves you very much." Sutton lied. _

_Hadley looked up at her mother, "He didn't want me." A tear fell down her cheek and Sutton's heart pinged. She looked at this little girl, who hadn't asked for any of this and yet was thrown into this horrible situation. Sutton wrapped her arms around Hadley and held her against her chest, feeling the little girl's sobs against her skin, "Why was I born?" She asked._

_Sutton didn't know what to say. She sat there holding this child that she'd only just met as her daughter a half an hour ago as she cried into her chest. Sutton's heart beat quickly as she heard someone in the distance yell her name._

"Sutton?" Emma said from the side of the pool. She'd turned down the music.

Startled, Sutton jumped and lifted her sunglasses, "Damn it. How long was I sleeping?" She said looking at her body hoping she hadn't baked to a crisp while she napped.

Emma shrugged, "I've been home for 20 minutes and you were sleeping when I got here. But do you wanna see what Mads and I bought for our dorm?"

Normally, a shopping haul thrilled Sutton, but this wasn't exactly something Sutton was itching to see, but she looked at her twin, she could tell Emma was excited to share her shopping buys with her sister. So Sutton smiled and got out of the pool. She wrapped herself in an oversized PINK brand beach towel and slipped on her flip flops and headed into the house behind Emma.

Inside, there were piles of bags from a ton of Sutton's favorite stores: Anthropologie, Pottery Barn teen, Urban Outfitters and Target. Emma pulled the bags to her side and sat on the floor, Sutton sat beside her. Mads, who had been getting drinks in the kitchen joined them on the floor, "Ok." Emma started, "So at first we didn't have a theme, but then I saw this really awesome duvet cover at Anthropologie and I knew I had to have opened one of the larger Anthropologie bags and pulled out a packed duvet cover. It was a multi colored paisley pattern in blues, teals and purples, "So we decided to base our colors off of this duvet cover. So I got this and a matching sham. It kinda sucks that we only get twin size beds our first year, but oh well." She set aside the duvet and sham and then pulled open a Target bag, "Ok, so then we went to Target and I saw these awesome mirrors, that you don't have to put holes in the wall to hang up which is perfect because we can only have two holes in the wall." she said pulling out a package of sticker type mirrors. Sutton sighed, as Emma finished going through every little thing she'd bought, "What do you not like it?"

Sutton looked at her twin, she knew Emma was excited about college in the fall and she wanted to be excited for her sister. But the truth was, she wasn't, "No, it's cool. I like it." She said unenthused. She stood up and walked to her room.

Emma looked at Mads, "Why is she acting so strange? Sutton loves a good shopping haul."

Mads shrugged, "Maybe you should go talk to her."

Emma looked at her friend, "Good idea." She said as she stood up and followed Sutton to her room.


	9. Beauty In The Breakdown

Emma crept up to Sutton's door, she knocked quietly, "Sutton?" She said softly. When Sutton didn't answer Emma knocked again, "Sutton can I come in please?" Again Sutton didn't answer. Figuring she'd snuck out, Emma pushed open the door. But there sitting on the floor was Sutton, She was looking down and holding something in her hand. When Emma saw what she was holding she shouted, "SUTTON! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Sutton looked up, a small razor in her hand.

"Go away!" Sutton shouted. But instead Emma ran to her sisters side.

"Put down the razor." Emma demanded, she looked at Sutton's arm, blood tricked down her forearm and onto her bare leg, "Oh my god, Sutton you're bleeding. Why did you do this?" Emma's heart pounded as she fought her sisters grip to get the razor, "Let, GO!" Emma said.

"I said go away!" Sutton shouted flailing the razor above her head.

"I'm not going away, you need to go the hospital." Emma said peeling her sisters fingers from the razor.

By now Mads who'd been in the living room showed up in Sutton's doorway, "What the fuck is going on in here?" She asked. But when she saw the blood on Sutton's arm and the razor Emma was trying to peel out of Sutton's hand, she made the connection, "Shit, Sutton. What the fuck happened?"

Sutton didn't even look at her best friend, "Can't you all just fucking go away? You don't need me anymore!" Sutton shouted using every muscle in her body to pull her arm out of Emma's grip. She managed to get the blade away from her sister long enough to drag it along her skin again, Emma shouted for her to stop, but as the blood began to drip out she felt satisfaction. Something in her had snapped. Emma grabbed a t-shirt from Sutton's hamper and wrapped it around the wounds. Mads found another and did the same with the second cut, "Those are my good shirts!" Sutton shouted.

"Who cares! We need to stop the bleeding." By now she was freaking out, pent up tears had welled in her eyes and she looked at Sutton, "Why did you do this, Sutton?"

Sutton looked at Emma, her heart sank, "Because you don't need me anymore." She confessed.

Emma looked at her, "What do you mean I don't need you anymore?" Emma wiped the tears from her cheeks and helped Sutton to her feet, "We need to get you to the hospital."

"No! I'm fine." Sutton demanded.

"You're not fine, Sutton. You have two deep cuts in your arm. You need medical attention." Mads said pulling her up.

Sutton yanked out of the other two girls grip, "No, I'm not going back there!" Then she felt dizzy and she fell back on her bed.

"Sutton, I'm worried about you." Emma said, "What the hell is going on?"

Sutton looked at her, suddenly the room had started spinning, "I told you. You don't need me anymore!" She looked down at her wounded arm, blood soaked through the shirts. She knew she needed medical attention. But there was no way she was going back to that hospital again.

Emma looked at her twin, "what are you talking about? Of course, I need you."

Sutton looked at her, "No you don't. You've got Mads now and college and you're going to leave me just like Thayer."

Mads threw her hands up in the air, "I knew that asshole had to do with this."

Emma looked at Mads then back at Sutton, "Sutton, no one can replace my twin sister. I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt this way."

Sutton shot Emma a look, "Of course, I feel like this. You get to go to college. You get to make new friends, get the hell out of Phoenix and have fun while I'm stuck here. Pregnant and alone."

Emma shook her head, "No, Sutton it's not like that."

"Like what? It's not fair that you get to be normal and I have to be a mother. I didn't want this. I don't want this baby." She confessed tears poured down her cheeks.

Emma wrapped her arms around her sister, "Oh Sutton. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't be throwing all of this in your face. This is my fault."

Sutton rested her head on Emma's shoulder, "No. It's my fault. I fuck everything up."

"I won't throw my dorm life in your face anymore. But you need a doctor." Emma said standing up.

"I'm not going to the hospital!" Sutton demanded.

"Why?" Emma said exasperated.

Sutton looked down, "Because that's where dad died. I can't go back there again."

Emma looked at Sutton while Mads sat down next to Sutton, putting her arm around her friends shoulder, "Oh Sutton. I know that's still hard. It's still so soon. But Sutton you need to see a doctor. You need to make sure that the baby is safe and that you're okay."

Sutton sighed, she knew Emma was right. She was still carrying a baby and she knew that the loss of blood to cause significant damage to the babies development, "Fine. But promise you won't ever leave me?"

Emma looked at her twin, "I just found you, how could I ever leave you?" Then she kissed her sisters cheek as she helped her to her feet, "Let's go make sure you're okay and don't you _ever _do that again. God, I had a fucking heart attack."

Sutton followed her sister out to the BMW, "I'm sorry Emma. I really am."

As Emma was shutting Sutton's door, she gave her a smile, "It's okay, Sutton. I love you. I don't ever want to lose you." Then Emma climbed in the drivers side of the car and peeled out towards the hospital.

**A/N: sorry for the tear jerker y'all. But it had to happen. Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment. Let me know what you were thinking while reading this chapter! :)**


	10. The Story Left Untold

"Ok we really need to talk about this." Emma said as she climbed into the drivers seat of the BMW. She had just spent the last two hours in the hospital while Sutton was examined for her injuries. Now Sutton just stared out the window. Now her arm was bandaged in a gauze-like wrap. She didn't respond to her sister, "Sutton, seriously."

Sutton sighed heavily and looked at Emma, "What do you want me to say, Emma? God, I made a mistake. Jesus Christ! You're not my damn mother."

Emma looked at Sutton, "No. But I am your sister, Sutton and what happened today scared me. God, what if I lost you, Sutton? How could I handle that?" Emma bit her lip, feeling the tears fill her eyes, she blinked them back, knowing that she couldn't drive if she was crying.

Sutton rolled her eyes, "Oh my GOD, Emma! Will you stop it?"

Emma slammed on the break, causing Sutton to fly forward, her hands hit the dashboard, "Excuse me?! Stop what? Stop loving you? Stop caring about you? Stop worrying about you? Because that's not going to happen, Sutton. You're my sister! I'm going to love you and care about you and worry about you. That's my nature. So if that displeases you than I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I love you and don't want to lose you? God, Sutton. We just buried our father. I'm not about to bury you too." A single tear slid down her cheek and she pulled into a nearby gas station, "Mads, Can you drive? I just can't right now." Mads nodded and switched seats with Emma who climbed into the back seat and wiped the tears off her face with the sleeve of her hoodie.

The ride home was silent. No one really knew what to say. Sutton stared out the window, a look of anger perpetually plastered to her face and Emma occasionally wiped the stray tears that slipped down her cheeks away. Mads drove in silence. Even though she was used to Sutton's many mood swings, this was by far the worst. Usually, Sutton was all about Sutton. Getting what Sutton wanted. But this? This stemmed from somewhere deep down in Sutton that no one even knew existed. Emma thanked Mads as they dropped her off outside of the house that used to be Char's place and was now where Rebecca, Alec and Mads were staying, "I don't know what the hell sparked this behavior, but it's a cry for help." Emma said, feeling the tears fill her eyes again, "I just really love her. She's my sister Mads."

Mads nodded and pulled Emma into a hug, "I know. She will be fine. She's lucky to have you for a sister."

Emma smiled, "Thanks. I guess all those years of wanting a sister, I'm not letting this one go."

"She's going to be okay." Mads said as she pulled out of the hug, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

Emma nodded and said her good-byes. Mads waved to Sutton who still sat in the passengers side of the BMW. She gave her friend a half smile as she headed inside. When Emma climbed back in the car, she looked at Sutton, "Look, I'm not going to bother you about this again, if you promise me that you never do this again."

Sutton looked at Emma, "Whatever. Can we just go home now?"

Emma turned the ignition on and began to back out of Mads' driveway, "Fine, Sutton. But I hope you know what you're going to tell mom when she asks you why your arm is all bandaged up." Sutton didn't reply, "Fine, Sutton. You win. I'm done talking to you. I'm done trying to make you see that you mean the world to me. You don't know what it's like to grow up not knowing who you were, who your family was and what it'd be like to have a sister. So excuse me for cherishing the sister I found. The one damn thing I wanted more than anything in this world."

Sutton sat there for a moment, not really saying anything. then she sighed, "I'm sorry, Emma." She said quietly.

Emma looked at her twin, "thank you." She said as she pulled into the Mercer's driveway. She killed the ignition and turned to Sutton, "I love you so much, Sutton. I was so scared today that I was going to lose you."

Sutton took her sister's words to heart. She didn't intend to kill herself that afternoon. She got out of the car and followed Emma up the walk. but before Emma could open the front door, Sutton pulled her into a hug, "I'm really sorry, Emma. I didn't want to hurt you."

Emma wrapped her arms around her sisters shoulders, "It's fine, Sutton. I mean it's not fine. But I accept your apology." Sutton squeezed a little harder before pulling away.

"Give me your jacket." Sutton said.

"Why?"

"Because Mom is going to freak out if she sees this bandage." Sutton said pulling the zipper of her twins tan hoodie down.

Emma put her hand on her sisters, "No, Sutton. You need to own up to this." She said pulling the zipper back up.

"Emma, come on. Please? I can't deal with her freaking out right now." Sutton pouted.

Emma shook her head, "No, Sutton. You need to own up to this. You're going to have to tell her eventually, you have to keep that on at least overnight, and what about the cuts? She's going to see the cuts on your arm."

Sutton rolled her eyes, "Thanks for nothing, sis." Then she stormed inside.

Emma sighed, "She's definitely a hormonal pregnant teenager." She said to herself after Sutton slammed the door in her face.

Later that night, Emma laid on her bed, reading one of her favorite novels when her phone buzzed, she looked at it. New text message from Ethan. She smiled. It'd been a while since she'd had a chance to talk to Ethan. She slip the icon and opened her text messages app, "Hey beautiful." It said. She smiled, "Hey you!" She sent back. It was a few minutes before he responded, to Emma it felt like centuries, "Come outside" it said. She made a face, "Why?"

"Because, I want to see you."

"But I'm in my pajama's."

"That's fine. We aren't going anywhere. Just come outside."

Emma smiled and sat up, She slipped on her flip flops that were by her door and crept quietly down the hallway. the house was dark aside from a few accent lamps and light up wall plug-in's Kristen had around the house. Everyone had gone to bed and she quietly slipped out the front door. Outside the crickets chirped in the distance, Ethan stood against his motorcycle. She smiled when she saw him and ran into his arms, "You don't know how much I've missed you." She said when he wrapped his arms around, lifting her up off the ground.

Ethan put her down and pulled back, "Not half as much as I've missed you." Then he pulled her in for a long lingering kiss. Emma smiled against his lips.

"So why the late night meet up?" She asked pulling back from the kiss.

"A guy can't see his girlfriend late at night?"

Emma blushed, still after all this time it was hard to believe that a guy like Ethan Whitehorse was calling her his girlfriend. Back in Vegas a guy like Ethan wouldn't have even given her a second thought, now she was being called girlfriend and sneaking out of the house to be with him. It was definitely something Sutton would have been proud of her for doing, "No you can see me whenever you want. It's just I've been so busy lately and today was just horrible." She remembered back to Sutton's moment of self-destruction and immediately tears filled her eyes.

When Ethan saw this he pulled her into his arms, "what happened?"

Emma shook her head, "Everything."

Ethan looked deep into Emma's eyes, the sparkle in his chocolate brown eyes still captivated her, she shrugged, "Thayer left. I guess we can start there."

"What do you mean he left?"

"He left. As in packed up, left Sutton a note saying he couldn't be a father and then took off. No one knows where he is and can't get a hold of him. So that started the day, then Sutton tried to kill herself this afternoon." Somehow saying it, those words: kill herself, made Emma angry, hot fiery anger surged through her at the thought of it.

Ethan took a step back, "whoa, whoa. What?! Sutton did what?" Emma nodded, "Are you serious? Is she crazy? Please tell me she's okay. The baby's okay, right?"

"She's physically okay. The babies fine. But Kristen sure gave her the third degree at dinner tonight when she asked Sutton why her arm was bandaged up."

"I bet." Ethan said shaking his head, "Sutton is capable of many things. But trying to do something that extreme is not in Sutton's nature. What did she do?"

"She took a razor blade and made two deep cuts into her arm," She drew two lines on her arm in the same place Sutton had cut with the razor. Ethan just kept shaking his head, "So we spent the afternoon at the hospital and then she had the nerve to blow up on me in the car on the way home. So yeah, needless to say, this day was not exactly something I ever want to relive."

Ethan wrapped his arm around Emma and kissed the top of her head, "Well, I hope seeing me made the night a little bit better."

Emma smiled, "It _definitely _made the night a whole lot better." She pulled out from his embrace, "But I better go inside. Can I see tomorrow?"

Ethan nodded, "And every day after that." Even though he knew that they only had the summer, he hoped that she wouldn't call things off in the fall when school started.

Emma smiled and kissed him once more before she ran back in the house. Once she was inside, she pressed her back against the back door and listened as the sound of his motorcycle faded into the distance. There was no doubt in her mind that she loved that boy.

**A/N: As always, thank you for reading. Someone asked for more Ethan/Emma scenes. I'm not really focusing this story on their relationship, but there was some happy little fluff for ya. I may throw in a little twist with their storyline, but I'm not sure yet. Comment, comment, comment and may be I will actually go through with what I'm thinking about. I'm pretty sure y'all will LOVE it. **


	11. Can't Shake You

"Sutton! Look! This is so precious!" Emma held up a tiny little multi-colored ruffled sundress. Sutton had gone afternoon shopping at Target with Emma. She spun around from the shopping cart and looked at the garment her sister was holding.

"It's adorable, but I won't know the gender until for another two hours." Sutton said putting down the Orange refresher beverage she'd gotten at Starbucks earlier that afternoon.

Emma hung the dress back on the rack and walked back to her sister, "Are you excited?" She asked putting her hand on her sisters budding stomach.

Sutton shrugged, "I don't know, really. It's still such a blur. Too much to handle." She said pushing the cart again down the aisle towards the shoe section.

"But have you even thought about what you want? A boy? A girl?" Emma asked. She picked up a tiny pair of hot pink sandals, "I hope it's a girl. How adorable would it be to dress her in cute clothes?"

Sutton looked at Emma, "They are cute, Emma. But I don't know. I guess a girl would be fun." She held the sandals and looked at them. It was still so hard for her to imagine her child wearing such a small pair of shoes. The thought of her child still freaked her out. She barely knew how to take care of herself. How was she supposed to take care of a child too?

The girls finished their shopping and headed towards Sutton's doctor's appointment. As she sat nervously bouncing a knee in the waiting room, Emma flipped through a parenting magazine, "Sutton Mercer?" A nurse said pushing open the waiting room door. Sutton looked up and stood at the sound of her name. Emma put the magazine down and followed her sister and the nurse back to the same examining room they had been in the last time she came with Thayer. Sutton took her usual seat on the bed. Instead of taking a seat across the room, Emma stood next to her sister. Sutton immediately reached for Emma's hand and gave it a squeeze.

When they were alone, Sutton drew in a breath, "I don't know if I'm ready for this."

Emma looked at her sister, "Sutton, you can do this. I know you can. You are going to make an amazing mom no matter what gender this baby is. You are going to be amazing."

Sutton looked at her sister who gave her a reassuring smile and pressed her hand to her stomach, though she was roughly four months along she was only just now beginning to show, "I just wish Thayer was here, ya know? To see his child. To know if he was having a son or a daughter. This sucks."

Emma looked down, "I know. It's not fair that he can do this to you and take off like it's nothing."

"I don't want to talk about it." Sutton said grabbing her phone from her purse, hoping just maybe Thayer had tried to get in contact with her. But who was she kidding? She hadn't heard from Thayer in two months. If he hadn't tried calling by now, he was never going to call her. She sighed when it showed no missed calls and put the phone back in her purse.

"I know. It just pisses me off that he gets that make that decision like he can just leave and you don't have that option. You don't get to walk away and forget about it-"

"EMMA! Please! Just stop! I don't wanna talk about it." Sutton snapped causing Emma to snap up and look at her. Sutton looked at her, "I'm sorry for snapping. I just don't want to talk about Thayer."

Emma looked at her confused, "You were the one who brought him up."

Sutton sighed, "I know. I just, he pisses me off too. I know it's not fair. But this is life." She looked down and back at Emma, "I'm sorry." Then she reached for her sister and wrapped her arms around her, "Thank you for being here. I don't think I could do this alone."

Emma smiled, "I don't want to be anywhere else." Then she pulled out of the hug, "Do you think dad's in Heaven like completely pissed at the situation right now?"

Sutton looked down, "Probably. If he was still alive, he'd have killed Thayer months ago." then she paused, "I can't believe he is never going to meet his grandchild."

Emma sighed knowing that she too would have a child that would grow up never knowing their grandfather, "Yeah." she said.

As a moment of awkward silence fell upon the girls, the door opened and Dr. Janowski walked in. As usual she asked Sutton about her symptoms and checked her vitals, "So today is a big day huh? Are you nervous?"

Sutton smiled, now laying back on the bench, "Yeah a little bit."

"Do you have a preference?" She asked prepping the ultrasound machine.

"A girl. But I just want it to be healthy." Sutton said. As Dr. Janowski wheeled her chair close to Sutton and poured the cold jelly on her stomach.

"I understand that." She said smiling. She pressed the tiny monitor to Sutton's stomach, immediately the babies heartbeat filled the air and Sutton smiled. Once again, she reached for Emma's hand, "Well let's see what we can find." Dr. Janowski said moving the monitor across Sutton's belly.

A few minutes passed. The twins passed glances and smiles and a few hand squeezes and finally Dr. Janowski spoke, "Ok well, it looks like you definitely are having a baby." Then she laughed, "I'm sorry that was mean. It looks like you got your wish, Sutton. I see no indication of boy parts. You are going to have a daughter."

Emma smiled and squeezed Sutton's hand, "Oh my god! That's amazing, Sutton! A daughter!"

Sutton nodded, shock. The realism that her baby was no longer an 'it' but in fact a baby girl. Maybe her dream was a foreshadow of the future. Would her daughter grow up to look like Hadley did in her dream? And what about that name? She wasn't too keen on it, yet something about it was so comforting. Like a dream world had already showed her her future.

The car ride home was a blur, Sutton sat in the passengers seat as Emma drove, "So what would you name her?" She asked still beaming over the news. Sutton shrugged, "What about Madison or Chloe or?"

"Hadley." Sutton said. Not even listening to her sister's suggestions.

"Hadley? Really? That sounds like a fish's name." Emma said making a face.

"I had a dream the other day that my daughter was swimming with me and in my dream her name was Hadley." Sutton said pulling a tube of MAC Creamsheen lipgloss from her Dolce and Gabana bag.

"So you're going to name your daughter Hadley cause of a dream?" Emma's disdain for the name was clear, but something about Hadley still felt right to Sutton. She popped her freshly glossed lips and pushed the visor back up.

"Don't hate my choice of names for my child, Emma." Sutton teased.

"I mean, if you like it, by all means name your child Hadley." she made a disgusted noise saying 'Hadley.' She pulled into the Mercer's driveway and killed the ignition.

Sutton looked at her sister, "Fine. I will think about it." She said, "But until then, don't be a hater." She said giving her sister a goofy smile, "thank you for coming with me. It makes me feel better I still have you. At least for the next few weeks." Sutton said opening her car door. Summer was coming to a quick end and she knew that she only had two weeks left with Emma before she left for college.

"You have me forever. I won't be that far away and I will come home as much as possible. Especially when my niece is born." She said as she opened the front door. The house was quiet, "Mom? Laurel?" She called out. No one answered but when the twins turned the corner to the kitchen they stopped dead in their tracks. Kristen sat at the table, two men in suits sat across from her, neither of them said a word to each other.


	12. Clarity

"What's going on?" Sutton asked looking directly at her mother. Kristen didn't say anything, she stared at the floor. Sutton moved to the tabs, a stack of papers sat before her mom, Sutton looked at heading on the top sheet, "What the hell is this?" She asked flinging the stack across the table and watched as the papers flew into the air and floated back down. Emma stood still at the entrance to the kitchen nervously biting her nail.

Kristen looked at her daughter, "Sweetie, sit down." She said in her quiet manner. But Sutton didn't oblige. Instead she stared at her, "Can we just talk?"

Sutton shook her head, "No, we can't just talk" She said making air quotes with her fingers, "You have no say in what happens to me or my baby." Sutton said pushing back tears that were forming now.

Kristen looked at her, "As of right now, you're under 18. I have every say in the matter, Sutton. You can't have a baby. You can't raise it."

Sutton looked at Kristen, fury and fear soared through her veins. Even if what her mother said was true, it didn't matter. This was her daughter and there was no way she was putting her through the life Rebecca had put Emma or her through growing up. Even if in hindsight Ted was her father, growing up she always wondered who her family was. Where her parents were. As a matter of fact, as a child she used to play family with her Barbie dolls. She would make up stories about a mommy a daddy and a baby Sutton. They would go to Disney World and go hiking. Sometimes she'd re-enact real family vacations only instead of Kristen and Ted and Laurel, it was Sutton's made up family. How could she even begin to put her daughter through that kind of pain? Much less the pain Emma must've been through in foster care, "No. This baby is mine! I'll be 18 by the time she's born anyways. I'll move out if I have to."

Kristen looked at her, "Sweet heart, a baby is a lot of time and money and hard work."

"So What? I'm not a hard worker? Mom, It doesn't matter. I'm not giving up my daughter. You can't make me." She folded her arms like she'd done as a child when she was adamant about not wanting to do something she didn't want to do.

Kristen just looked at her daughter, "Daughter?"

Sutton nodded, flinging the tiny sonogram at her mom, "Yeah, A daughter. I just found out. Congratulations!" She said angrily, "I'm done talking about this." And with that she pushed past Emma and stormed off through the house to her bedroom. Emma followed closely behind her.

"How could she do this to me?" Sutton said through her tears? She sat on her bed and clutched one of her blue throw pillows.

Emma moved to sit next to her sister, "She was looking out for you, Sutton. She loves you."

Sutton shook her head, "Love? That woman doesn't know love."

Emma felt hurt by her sisters words, even if she was pissed off, Kristen was still her mother, "She wants what is best for you and this baby."

"What's best is letting me raise my own daughter. I'm not putting her through the same shit we went through." Sutton said looking at her sister.

Even though, Emma could challenge her sister on who had the shittier life, she decided to let it go. Instead, she wiped the tears from Sutton's cheeks and took her hands, "I understand, Sutton. I really do. I know you want to raise this baby, but you're only seventeen. You're still a kid. It's a lot to raise a baby."

Sutton looked at her, "I know that, Emma. But it doesn't change the fact that she's my daughter."

"I know. She's your daughter, she's my niece and Kristen's granddaughter. But she deserves a fair chance at life." Emma said knowing that the words she was saying negated almost every bad thing she ever thought of her mother growing up. Rebecca had only done what she thought was best for her daughter in the situation.

"You think she won't have a fair chance at life if I raise her? What about all those thoughts you had growing up wondering who your mother was? How many times you wished you had a family. Your family. Not some group of people who called you their daughter because they signed some legal agreement? I know what that feeling is like and even if I didn't know that Ted was my father growing up, I still wished I had my real family. My mother and my father. And you know you did too. Don't lie."

Emma couldn't lie. She used to dream about her family. Who her mother was. She used to make up elaborate stories justifying reasons why her mother abandoned her when she was little. One night it would be because she was an acrobat in a traveling circus, or an astronaut who had to fly into space. Another night she'd be a traveling rockstar who couldn't bring a baby on the road with her. And even though all those things sounded so cool, it didn't make up for the fact that wherever her mother was, Emma was alone wishing she had tucked her in that night, read her a fairytale after a home cooked meal and not some cheap frozen meal because her foster parents were too busy to even care about her, "I know. I do. The situation sucks, Sutton."

"But it doesn't change the fact that I can be a mom. It might be hard, but I can do it." Just at that moment Sutton felt something she'd never felt before. A tiny pop in her stomach, "Oh my god! Emma! Something just happened. I think something's wrong."

Emma pulled the pillow from Sutton's hands and put her hand on her sisters stomach. There it was again, that little pop, "Oh my god! Sutton, that's your baby girl kicking. She's telling you she's still here."

Sutton put her hand next to her sisters, "That's so crazy." she said shaking her head, "How am I supposed to give this precious angel away?"

Emma shrugged, "I don't think you are going to do that, Sutton." She smiled as she felt the baby kick again, "See, even she agrees with me." Emma smiled as Sutton let out a laugh. The first time she'd smiled all day and Emma had to admit that seeing her sister smile was way better than seeing her sister upset and it seemed like lately that's all Sutton had been feeling. She reached out for a hug and squeezed Sutton a little tighter than usual. If there was anything she'd learned in the few months that she'd been in Phoenix, it was that family was the most important thing in the world and finally finding hers, made all those years in foster care a little bit easier to remember.


	13. I Loved Her First

Sutton sat alone. In the distance a bird chirp, sunshine warmed her back and the first brown leaf of fall had already begun to fall. She crunched the dried leaf in her hands. She knew that soon it was going to be like this. Just her. Her and her daughter. Behind her a child's laughter filled the air, she turned to the sound. A little girl with long brown hair laughed, "Come on, mommy!" her voice seemed faded. Sutton's hands pressed to her stomach. She turned back to what she had been staring at for the last twenty minutes. A name so familiar and yet it's like it hadn't slipped from her lips in a long time. Ted Mercer. Sutton sighed, "Hi daddy." she said softly, "I don't know how to tell you this. And I didn't mean for it to happen. I never wanted to let you down daddy." She paused for a moment. A squirrel sat next to her, poking it's head at something on a tree, Sutton drew in a breath, "I'm pregnant daddy." But then she let out a laugh, "I mean, can't you tell?" she rubbed her hand over her swollen belly. "Why can't you be here?" She asked, her mood suddenly changing, her voice was quiet, shaky. She hadn't spoken to her father since before he passed away. She looked up at his headstone, his name. The letters engraved on the stone made Sutton swallow hard, "It's not fair, ya know? Everyone leaves me. You, Thayer and now Emma." She had spent the last week helping Emma pack her room, the excitement of new adventure was evident in her sisters eyes and as much as she wished Emma would stay with her, she knew that Emma couldn't wait to start college. Sutton pushed back a tear, "Why did this have to happen to me?" She sniffled, "Why did Thayer have to take off like that? Doesn't he care?" she paused for a moment, "He has a daughter, you know. I just found out a few weeks ago. I don't know what I'm going to call her yet." she paused again and looked at the ground, "I don't want to be alone." She sniffled again as someone's footsteps crunched leaves nearby. Sutton turned to find Rebecca standing behind her. She moved to sit down next to her daughter.

"Sutton, you're not alone." She said putting her hand on Sutton's knee. She looked at her daughter's pregnant belly, "A little girl, huh?"

Sutton looked up at Rebecca, her bloodshot tear filled eyes looked into her mothers, "You heard?"

Rebecca nodded, "every word."

Sutton felt her tears well up again, "What am I supposed to do?"

Rebecca wrapped her arms around her daughter and felt her melt into her embrace, "Oh sweet heart. Everything will be okay."

Sutton sat up, "How is it going to be okay? Emma is leaving for college next week and Kristen thinks I should out her up for adoption."

Rebecca looked at her daughter, pushing her brown hair off her face, "No one is taking this baby." Sutton looked at her mother, "If Kristen thinks getting rid of her granddaughter is the answer, then why would you trust a woman with your child. I'm more her grandmother than Kristen."

Sutton shook her head, "It doesn't matter. Kristen's right. I can't raise a baby." Sutton put her hands where her daughter was, "I don't have a place to live, or money to feed her or buy diapers. But at the same time, I can't give her up." Sutton looked down and back at Rebecca, "I don't know how you were able to do that. I haven't even seen this baby and I know I won't be able to give her up."

Rebecca looked down at the flowers she had brought to lay at Ted's grave, "I'm not going to lie Sutton, that wasn't easy. But I knew that the situation wasn't right for two babies to grow up in. That's why I kept Emma. It almost made giving you to your father easier. Knowing that our family may have been broken, it wasn't destroyed. Giving you to Ted gave me hope that maybe we'd get our family back."

"Do you think I won't be able to handle being a mom?" Sutton asked picking a loose thread from the hoodie she'd borrowed from Emma.

"To be honest, no. I think you will be a great mom. But I'm not going to lie, Sutton. It's not easy. And I know you know that. But you can't fathom how hard until this baby is here. Emma was a beautiful baby and I know you were too. But the first months of her life, I didn't think I was going to make it. I didn't get much sleep, and sometimes she'd just cry for no reason. Being a mother tested every limit I didn't even know I had. But it was the most rewarding and wonderful job I'd ever had. When she looked at me for the first time and said I love you mommy," Rebecca shook her head at the memory, "That was the best moment of my life. She was my whole world and If I could have kept Emma, I would have never have given her up. That was the hardest thing I ever did after giving you up. Once this child is in your life, giving her up will be the hardest thing you will ever do. But I think you are going to be a great mother."

Sutton forced a smile, tears filled her eyes at her mothers words, "Thank you, mom." She said softly. Rebecca smiled and opened her arms wrapping Sutton up in a hug. These were the moments Rebecca craved. Giving her daughter advice, however, the situation and the advice given wasn't exactly what she'd wanted to be talking to her seventeen year old daughter about.

When Sutton got home later that night she found Kristen in the kitchen, she'd missed dinner and she was starving, but she pushed the feeling aside for a moment. Kristen sat alone at the kitchen table, a cup of ted and a crossword puzzle sat in front of her, "Mom?" Sutton said softly.

Kristen looked up from her puzzle, "Sutton. Where have you been?"

Sutton took a seat beside her mom, "thinking."

"Thinking, huh? about something specific."

Sutton nodded, "My life. Her life." She looked down at her stomach, "I know it's not going to be easy, mom and I know you are looking out for me and the baby. But I love her. I don't want to give her up. I don't want her to wonder why I didn't love her enough to keep her. I know what that feels like and it sucks. I don't want to do that to her."

Kristen reached out for Sutton's hands, "I know that it must've been hard not knowing who your real family was, but no amount of DNA made us love you more or less. You were always my daughter from the day I laid eyes on you, I knew you were meant to be my daughter."

Sutton's heart pinged. She hadn't always been the best daughter or the easiest to get along with and even if Kristen didn't give her her life, she was the one who kept her alive. She was the one who played tea parties with her three year old and who sang her her favorite songs at bedtime. She was the one who cleaned the pieces of the first broken heart Sutton had ever experienced. She was her mom. Even if she wasn't her mother, she was her mom and Sutton had taken it all for granted in search of her real mother. Sutton felt a single tear fall down her cheek, "I'm sorry mom. For everything. For being a terrible daughter, for blowing up on you this afternoon. I'm sorry that I let you down."

Kristen shook her head, "No baby, you didn't let me down. You are a wonderful daughter and I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world."

Sutton smiled, "Thank you for wanting me." She said with a chuckle.

"I don't want anything less than the beautiful child I was blessed with the opportunity to raise. If you want to keep this baby, then I won't stop you. But know that adoption is still an option." Kristen squeezed Sutton's hand.

"I know." she nodded, "But I don't think I will be doing that."

"Ok baby. I'm going to bed. I love you." She said standing. She leaned down and gave her daughter a hug. Sutton watched as Kristen disappeared into the darkness of the house. Maybe she really was lucky. Lucky to have Laurel and Emma for sisters and having two mothers who loved her more than anything. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all. Sutton smiled to herself as she stood up taking her mothers empty tea cup to the sink and heading off to bed, turning the light out behind her.


	14. Don't Forget To Remember Me

**Disclaimer: You might wanna get your tissues kids. This one made me a little weepy to write. But hopefully you'll like it. **

"Well that's the last of it." Emma said brushing her hands against her jeans. It was the last Saturday in August and the last day of Summer. Emma, Sutton and Laurel had just spent the morning packing her room of clothes, toiletries and other random items Emma had planned to take with her to Stanford. She pulled her list from her back pocket and unfolded the paper. Everything had been checked off. She folded the paper and put it back in her pocket, "Yeah. That's it." Both girls dreaded what had to happen next. Emma slammed the trunk of the BMW shut and she turned to Kristen, "Thank you for everything, mom." She said smiling, "This semester will fly and I will be home for Thanksgiving."

Kristen wiped a tear from her cheek, "I know baby. Please drive safely and if you get tired, make Mads drive for a while."

Emma nodded, "I will." Then she pulled Kristen into a hug. Kristen placed a kiss on her daughters cheek.

"I love you baby." She said wiping another cheek.

"I love you too, mommy." She said. Then she looked at Laurel.

"Little sister. Don't forget about me, okay? And be nice to Sutton. She's going to need you." Emma said, pulling Laurel into a hug.

"I know. Thank you for everything." Laurel said. She squeezed Emma's shoulders, " I love you Emma."

Emma smiled. If you'd asked her three years ago if she'd believe she'd be upset about moving to college, she would have laughed in you face and told you you were crazy. But as she stood there, dreading the one person she knew she had to say good bye too, she plastered a smile on her face, "I love you too Laurel. You are everything I ever wanted in a little sister and I'm so thankful that I have you." She gave Laurel another hug.

As she pulled away she looked around. Somehow in all of this Sutton had made herself disappear. Emma felt crushed, how could Sutton just ditch her like that? But when she spotted her pacing in the garage, Emma smiled, "Hey." She said quietly.

Sutton stopped and turned around, "Hi." She said back. The moment felt awkward for both girls.

Emma took a step towards her sister, "Sutton." She said, "My whole life all I ever wanted was for a relationship with someone like I had with my dream friend. But what I got, what I found in you, my twin sister, is by far way better than any dream Sutton could ever be. These past few months have been the best months of my life. You changed me for the better and I will never forget the wonderful things we did together. I promise two months will go by fast. I'll be back before you know it for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Until then, don't forget to remember me, ok?"

Sutton's breathing was hard, tears poured down her eyes, she looked at her twin. She knew she hadn't always treated her well, but she wasn't ready to let her go, "Don't go." She pleaded.

Emma looked at her, "what?"

"Don't go. Please? I'm not ready for this." Sutton sputtered through her tears.

"You can do this, Sutton. I know you can do this." Emma said taking Sutton's hands in hers.

Sutton shook her head, "I don't want you to leave. Everyone leaves me."

"I'm not leaving you forever, Sutton. I will be home for Thanksgiving and when I come home we will have the biggest 18th birthday party ever." Sutton smiled at Emma's promise. Emma pulled her sister into a hug, "I love you so much, Sutton. You were the reason I came here and you were the reason I stayed. I never cold have ever dreamed of having a sister as wonderful as you."

Sutton felt tears pour down her cheeks and splash on her sisters bare shoulders, "I love you too, Emma. Promise me you won't forget about me."

"I couldn't even if I wanted to. I will see you in November, okay?"

Sutton nodded even though she didn't want Emma to leave at all, she knew there was no way she could force her to stay. As Emma and Sutton made their way back to Kristen and Laurel, she said one last good-bye and got into the BMW, "Drive safely, Emma. Please?" Kristen pleaded.

"I will, mom." Then she gave Kristen a kiss and turned the ignition on. She looked out her rearview one last time at Sutton. It hurt her to know that this was killing her sister, but college meant everything to Emma. As she drove out of the driveway, she waved one final good-bye and cranked the radio as she made her way to Mads' house.

Emma pulled into the dorm parking lot late that night. Mads' had already fallen asleep but woke as soon as Emma killed the ignition, "Are we here?" She said groggily.

"Yep. Do you want to move stuff in now?" Emma asked.

Mads pulled her phone from her purse, "What time is it?" the light of the phone made Mads squint, "10:30" she said. Around them people were milling around. Some were still with their parents pulling boxes from trunks and heading into the dorms, "Do you have the keys to our room?"

Emma opened her purse and pulled a small envelope out, "Got em. We are room 402A."

"Let's go inside first and scope the room before we bring stuff." Mads suggested.

Emma nodded and the girls got out of the car. She flashed the lock button behind her. She had to flash her key card over the sensor to unlock the front doors. Inside, the lobby was quiet. A bulletin board on their left was colorfully decorated welcoming all the freshman to Stern Hall. Emma followed the sign on the wall that pointed them in the direction of the elevators. Down the hall, she got a taste of what the resident hall looked like. Each dorm room had been decorated by what she assumed was the Resident advisor. Each floor had an individual theme. The first floor was movie themed and each of the residents in the dorms had their names written on directors reels.

They caught the elevator just as it was closing. Emma kindly thanked the young man who stuck his hand out to allow them on. When they arrived on the fourth floor, they filed out into the hallway, "Oh look!" Emma said pointing at the door in front of them, "402A." She said, and sure enough on the door were their names: Emma and Madeline.

"Ugh, Madeline." Mads grumbled, but she took the key from Emma and opened the door. Inside the room was small. Smaller than either of the girls bedrooms back home. It was plain and the florescent lighting made both the girls squint, "Definitely going to need to do something about the lighting." The girls picked their sides of the room: Emma took the right side and Mads took the left.

"Should we get our stuff?" Emma asked after the girls crashed onto their respective beds.

Mads groaned, "That's such a long walk back to the car."

"Get used to it. When your dad brings you your car, you're gonna have to walk that distance too." Emma said. She pulled Mads' limp wrist. She groaned once more but sat up. She slipped her black Miu Miu booties back on and walked back down to the car with Emma.


	15. A Place In This World

Emma's room looked like it hadn't been touched in forever. Her bed was as perfectly made as when she left it. She'd been at college for almost a month now. Even Laurel had started her senior year of high school. Sutton had the house to herself since her mom spent most of her mornings and afternoon at the Chelsea Creek Country Club. Most days she laid around watching trashy television shows- mostly Teen Mom, knowing soon she would be able to relate to the girls she watched. She pushed open Emma's bedroom door. The room was dark since the shades had been drawn since she'd left. Her desk by her bed was emaculate. Two small picture frames, one with a picture of her and Sutton holding sparklers on the fourth of July and the other of her, Emma, Mads and Laurel out on Alec's boat last May, sat in the corner. Most of her school supplies had gone with her to college. But she left behind a glass vase filled with glass beads and a single red rose and a small glass lamp sat across from the pictures. Her white wooden chair was pushed in and the garbage can was empty. Sutton sat on her perfectly made bed. Somehow after all this time it still smelled like Emma. Across from the bed, the closet was empty only few items left behind. Her gradation gown, her prom dress and a few heavy winter sweaters. The only shoes left behind were her prom sandals, a pair of rain boots with yellow umbrella's on them and her old pair of converse that she had on when she got to Phoenix. The emptiness made Sutton miss her sister. She reached for her phone and dialed Emma's number, "Hey! It's Emma, I'm busy or I don't wanna talk to you! Either way, leave me a message and maybe I'll get back to you!" Sutton sighed, maybe she was in class, "Hey Em! It's me. I miss you. Call me. Let me know how classes are going." She hung up the phone and flipped onto her side. She'd been getting bigger each month and it was beginning to get difficult turning on her side. This was the first time she'd tried calling Emma since she'd moved to California and Emma had never called her. They had been distant since she left, even their texts were few and far between and when Emma did reply it was usually one word answers or "k" or "lol." She was really starting to miss her sister.

Sutton didn't even know she'd fallen asleep when her phone buzzed. Emma? She thought. She looked at the caller id: Emma. She smiled and slid the icon to answer, "Hey!" She said.

"Hey. I'm sorry I missed your call, I was in class." Emma said. Her voice sounded winded.

"That's ok. What's up?"

"Nothing much. Just school, I guess."

"Tell me, everything! What's it like living in a dorm?"

"I don't know. It's okay, I guess. But I really can't chat right now. I'll call you later, ok?"

Sutton was surprised, "Oh ok. Yeah call me later."

"Ok. give mom and laurel a kiss for me. love you." Sutton didn't even have time to tell her sister she loved her too before Emma had disconnected the call. It wasn't like Emma to be so brief with her. Sutton wondered if Emma had changed in the small amount of time she'd been at Stanford. All Sutton knew was that she missed her sister and Mads. She sat up and walked back out to the living room. She shut off the TV and walked to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and grabbed a strawberry greek yogurt and went back to her bedroom and changed into a nicer outfit. It was definitely difficult to dress like a normal seventeen year old when you're 7 and a half months pregnant. Most of the clothes they'd found in maternity stores were clearly for older women in their thirties. Lot's of business attire and conservative casual wear. It was like shopping at Dress Barn for pregnant women. Most of the clothes she'd purchased for her pregnancy were just extra large sizes of clothes she'd normally purchase in a small. Thankfully, her skinny jeans still fit. Well only after she put up a fight to button them. She definitely didn't know how she was going to handle having to buy jeans with elastic bands around the waist. When she looked halfway like her normal self. She grabbed her keys and headed to her car.

When she arrived at the mall, she parked outside of a small boutique that sold baby clothes, furniture and other baby needs. Inside, the store was empty a young woman in her early twenties greeted Sutton and asked if she needed any assistance. Sutton smiled, "I'm fine." She said. She had never been in the store before and she immediately noticed that the store was divided by genders, girls on the right and boys on the left. Sutton made her way to a rack of onesies and newborn dresses. the clothes were so tiny it was hard to imagine her daughter fitting into them. Still she found several dresses and onesies that she couldn't wait to put on her baby.

"When are you due?" The young woman asked her as she stepped behind her to put a new shipment of dresses on the rack.

Sutton looked down at her pregnant belly, "November 28th."

"Not too much longer now. You're having a girl?" Sutton nodded. Obviously if she wasn't having a girl she wouldn't be shopping in the girls section, she thought, "Have you picked out a name yet?"

Sutton held up a frilly tank top, "Not yet. I was thinking about Hadley, but my sister didn't like it."

The woman nodded, "Oh yeah. Everyone will try and sway you to pick the name they like most. When I was pregnant with my daughter, it seemed like everyone had an opinion on what I should name her. But in the end, she was my daughter and it was my choice, so I named her what I'd always wanted to name my daughter."

"You have a daughter?" Sutton asked. Finally finding someone she had something in common with. The woman nodded, "How old is she?"

"She's 5 now. I was 17 when she was born."

"Really?" Sutton smiled, "I'm 17, but I'll be 18 when my daughter is born. Can I ask you a question?"

The woman smiled, "Sure."

"Was it hard?"

"Was what hard?"

Sutton sighed, "Raising your daughter? My baby girls father ditched me early on in my pregnancy and I'm gonna raise her alone."

"I was lucky enough to have my boyfriend, Layla's father, help me. But he enlisted in the military to make a few extra bucks and was deployed six months ago. But in the beginning it was hard. No sleep, lots of diapers, feedings. But I can't imagine life without Layla. She's my whole world."

Sutton nodded, "Everyone seems to say that."

"I mean you spend all day and night with this little child. A baby who loves you no matter what. And that first time that baby looks at you and tells you she loves you, It's magical." the woman arranged shoes on a shelf and another customer entered the store. Sutton thanked the woman and continued shopping.

When she was checking out, Sutton looked at the woman again, "I'm sorry. I never got your name."

"Amanda. You?" Amanda said while she wrapped the several outfits Sutton had picked out in tissue paper and putting them in a gift bag.

"Sutton. Sutton Mercer." Sutton said. Amanda handed Sutton the bag when her credit card transaction had gone through. She thanked Sutton for stopping by and hoped she come back again. But Sutton had other plans for Amanda.

Emma flung open the door to her dorm room open causing Mads to jump, "Whoa! What's wrong?" Mads said putting down her iPad.

Emma flung herself on her bed, "It's been a crazy day. Sutton called and I lied to her."

Mads paused the show she had been watching on Netflix, "What do you mean you lied to Sutton?"

Emma pulled the multi-colored paisley comforter over her shoulders, "She called me like an hour ago and I brushed her off."

"Why? Are you mad at her?"

Emma looked at her, "No. I'm not mad at her. I haven't even talked to her since we moved. I just know she wants to know about school." Emma pulled the small pup pup doll that she'd taken from Rebecca when she discovered she was her mother and clutched it to her chest.

"What's so wrong with that? I fail to see the problem." Mads sat against the wall on her bed, behind her a collage of years of photo's with friends adorned her wall. They had spent the entire first Sunday that they arrived in Stanford decorating their room. Now it looked like a teen furniture catalogue had thrown up in there. They even purchased several table and floor lamps so they didn't have to use that horrible florescent lighting the room came with.

"There isn't a problem. I just don't want to talk about it." She snapped. Truth was, Emma was missing Sutton like crazy. She was missing the whole family in fact. The dorm made her feel distant, like living in a permanent hotel room. Even though she had Mads with her, and boy was she thankful for that, she missed the comfort of the Mercer home. She missed Kristen checking in on her before bed. She missed hanging out with Laurel by the pool. But most importantly, she missed Sutton being so close. Now it just felt like they were so distant. Just the sound of Sutton's voice made her miss her that much more.

Mads threw up her hands, "Well fine, then. But you're the one who stormed in here all mad."

"I didn't storm in here all mad. It's just been crazy. Maybe I just need a nap." Emma said rolling over so that she had her back to Mads.

Mads picked her iPad back up and plugged in her headphones, "probably a good idea." She said mostly to herself.

"I heard that!" Emma said, but closed her eyes anyways.

**A/N: Sorry. This was my most blah-est chapter. But I think after all the stuff these girls have been going through it was good to give them a rest. :) As always, Thanks for reading! No this story is Definitely NOT over. Keep reading to see what happens with Thayer. ;)**


	16. Baby's On The Run

It had been two months since Emma or Sutton had tried talking. Even though she'd spoken with Kristen a few times mostly to talk about her new job at Barnes and Nobel that she started in October. It was mid-November now and the semester was beginning to wear on her. Between classes, work and tests, Emma barely had any time to breathe. She hadn't even talked to Ethan since Halloween and she was beginning to miss everyone back in Phoenix. Even still, Emma was loving college, "Soy vanilla latte no foam!" The barista called out, placing a paper cup on the counter. Emma pushed her stack of books in her arm and grabbed her cup. She thanked the barista and headed back into the school library. She grabbed the elevator and headed to the fifth floor also known as the study floor. When the doors opened, Emma walked out and found an empty table. Somehow the extreme silence and cold air, made Emma feel like she was in a prison. Still, she sprawled her books out across the large table she had took a seat. She took a sip of her coffee and began to read. One more week she thought. Then she'd be home with her family, eating delicious food and not crappy cafeteria meal plan that she was forced to be on as a freshman. But the thought of home made her miss it even more. She knew she'd missed so much of Sutton's pregnancy and she prayed that she didn't miss the birth. The more she thought of home, the harder it became to focus. Emma sat back and pressed her palms to her eyes. Suddenly her phone rang, Emma looked down to see her sisters name flash on the screen.

Emma's heart skipped a beat and she almost felt nervous, like it was her crush calling. But it'd been so long since she'd talked to Sutton, she didn't know if things were going to be the same. She picked up her phone, "Hey." She said barely over a whisper.

"Hey, Why are you whispering?" Sutton whispered back.

"I'm studying in the library, I have a huge test on Friday and I need to finish the review packet." She said, "What's up? I miss you."

"I miss you too." Sutton said now in her normal pitch, "How's school, I mean, besides your test coming up?"

Emma sighed, "It's fine. It's school. I mean aside from not having anyone breathing down your neck and yelling at you about getting to class and what you wear, it's pretty much like high school. Notes, tests, etc."

"Have you made any new friends? What's it like living in the dorms?"

"Cold, depressing. I mean, that parts fun. It's like being in camp. The guys and girls live on the same floor, but it's split in half and in the middle is a common room, but no one really hangs out in there except on Friday nights. They also have events on the weekends. But still, I miss home. I miss my room and I miss you and Laurel and Kristen. How is the baby? Are you ready to give birth yet?"

"Not at all. But I've made a new friend." Sutton said proudly.

"You did? Where?"

"She works at Modern Grace. The baby boutique down the road. Her name is Amanda. We've hung out a few times."

"That's awesome, Sutton. Have you been buying a lot of things for the baby?"

"Yeah, just a few dresses and some onesies. It's getting bad, Emma. I just see something and think how cute she'll be in it. Makes it difficult not to purchase it."

Emma smiled, "Oh I know. Mads and I went into town to get some groceries and we stopped at Target and I kept looking at all the baby clothes. She is definitely going to be well dressed and spoiled. But hey, I don't wanna cut it short cause I miss you. But I really need to finish this packet before my next class. I can't air to come home."

"Oh yeah. I know. I can't wait either. I love you. Good luck on your test."

Emma laughed, "Oh thanks! I'll need it." then she hung up the phone and looked back at her packet but all she could think about was home.

Later that night, Sutton rolled over in bed. Her stomach had been hurting since dinner but she tried to fall asleep. Her back ached but she tried to relax. It wasn't long before the pain became unbearable. Sutton felt herself tense up and tears form in her eyes. She reached for her phone. Even though her mom was just across the house, getting up was near impossible for her, he dialed Kristen's cell, "Sutton? What? Where are you?" Kristen had clearly been asleep when she answered the phone.

"I'm in my room, mommy. My stomach and my back hurts." Sutton tried to sit up but it was too painful. She bit back her tears and soon enough Kristen was in her room. Her light blue satin robe was untied and she sat next to Sutton, "Well it stopped now."

Kristen shook her head, even if they all knew this was coming, neither of them had mentally prepared themselves for it to happen so soon, "ok well tell me if it happens again." Kristen laid on her side behind her daughter, gently massaging her daughters lower back. Again, Sutton cringed and let out a moan, "Honey these are contractions. You're in labor."

When the pain washed away Sutton turned to her mom, "No I still have two more weeks. I'm not ready to give birth."

"Ok ok. It' could be Braxton-Hicks contractions."

Panic washed over Sutton's face, "What the hell does that mean?"

"False labor pains. Don't worry, sweetie this is normal. But we need to get you to the hospital. I'll go wake up your sister." Kristen said standing.

"No! Don't leave me." Sutton pleaded as another contraction washed over her. She cringed and let out a moan. Kristen disappeared out her door turning the corner to Laurel's room.

Sutton laid there as the pain subsided, and wished that Emma was with her. When Laurel and Kristen came back in the room, they helped her to her feet and out to the car. Sutton laid in the back seat as the contractions began coming in faster intervals. She moaned the entire way and cursed her mom for every sped bump she took, even at a snails pace.

They arrived at the hospital as fast as they had left. A nurse met them at the door with a wheelchair and Sutton climbed in. Another contraction hit her quickly and she moaned again, "make it stop" she whined but all Kristen could do was rub her daughters arm.

"There you guys are!" Rebecca said frantically as they wheeled Sutton into a vacant delivery room. Kristen had called Rebecca to let her know that Sutton was in labor as they drove to the hospital.

Sutton looked up at the woman, "How did you get here?"

Rebecca took her daughters side, "I drove sweetie. How are you feeling?"

The nurse helped move Sutton to the bed and hooked her to an IV, "Where's Emma?" She asked. Even though she knew where Emma was, she'd hoped maybe she'd magically appear like Rebecca.

"I'm going to go call her now. But you need to relax." Kristen said pulling out her cell phone. Sutton laid against the pillow as another contraction came. She'd been like this for several hours now and it wasn't getting any easier.

Kristen paced t he hallways as her phone rang waiting for Emma. She hoped Emma would here the call even though she knew she was asleep at this hour, "Hello?" A groggy Emma answered.

"Emma? It's mom." Kristen's voice seemed panicked.

Emma sat up in her bed and turned on her light, "Mom? What's going on? Is everything okay?"

"Honey, it's your sister." She breathed. In that half second Emma's heart pounded, "She's in labor."


	17. The Day Before You

"What?" Emma into her phone causing Mads to roll over and look at her. Emma made an 'I'm sorry' face, "What do you mean she's in labor?"

Mads sat up, "Sutton's in labor?" She asked still half asleep. Emma nodded at her question.

Emma pulled out a pair of Stanford sweats and a plain white tank top. She grabbed a hoodie, her laptop and her keys. Mads followed Emma, "Ok I will see what I can do. Tell her to hold it in until I get there." Then she hung up the phone and grabbed her purse. She turned to Mads, "Sutton's having the baby." She said seeing that Mads was already up and getting her shoes on, "I need to see if there are any last minute flights to Phoenix."

"I'm going too." Mads declared. As she grabbed her purse and keys. The girls made a mad dash down the stairs and out to Emma's car. They piled in as quickly as possible and Emma took off for the airport praying that there was something available this late at night.

Sutton hadn't been able to sleep since they'd been at the hospital. By now the panic had died down. Laurel slept on the couch beside her sisters bed and Kristen sat next to Sutton stroking her hair. When a contraction would wash over her she'd moan and grab her mothers hand. Helplessly, Kristen shushed her daughter and stroked her hand, telling her that everything was going to be alright. In between contractions Sutton tried to catch some sleep. But now the sun was beginning to rise and the nurses came to check on her more frequently.

"Mom?" Emma;s voice said from down the hall. When Sutton heard it she perked up.

"Emma?" She questioned. Kristen stood up and ran out the door to greet her daughter. When they came back in Emma ran to Sutton's bed.

"Sutton! How are you doing?" She asked.

Sutton smiled, "You made it. I didn't think you were going to make it."

"I wouldn't miss this for the world, Sutton." She said grabbing her twin sisters hand just as a wave of contractions washed over her. She squeezed Emma's hand.

As the contraction subsided, a nurse told her it was time to get ready to deliver the baby. She prepared the labor area and then looked at the group, "I can only allow two people to stay during the birth. Sutton, you can choose who you want to stay with you."

Immediately, Sutton looked at her sister, "Emma" then she looked at Kristen, "And mom."

Rebecca looked outraged, tears filled her eyes, "But baby." She said softly. Yet, she followed Laurel and Mads to the waiting room. Tears fell down her face.

Back in the delivery room, Kristen looked at Sutton, "Are you sure you want me to stay?"

Sutton nodded, "You've been with me since the beginning. I love Rebecca, but you're my mom." Kristen smiled and kissed her daughters sweaty forehead.

"Alright Sutton, are you ready?" The nurse said. Sutton nodded, "Ok, I'm going to tell you to push on the next contraction. When you do, I need you to hold that push for ten seconds ok? Will you be able to do that?" Sutton nodded again. She reached for her mom and sisters hands as the contraction began, "Ok Sutton go ahead and push for me sweetheart."

Sutton began pushing as the group around her counted down from ten to one, when they stopped Sutton let her breath go and relaxed, "Good job, Sutton. You are going to need to do it again ok?" Sutton nodded, barely able to speak at this point. But the contraction came and again she pushed, "The babies crowning." the nurse said. Sutton couldn't believe any of this was even happening. It was like an out of body experience. But having Emma and Kristen by her side made the process less scary. Emma peeked over her sisters knee, maybe it was a little too much of Sutton she didn't want to see, but when she saw the babies tiny head, she felt tears pierce her eyes. She looked at Sutton. Another contraction and Sutton began to push again. This time the pain was too much too handle and it felt like her body was being ripped in two. This time the nurse looked at her, "Her head is out, just one more push and we'll have a baby." Sutton nodded, knowing this was it. Her life was never going to be the same after this. But she drew in a breath. She began to push and in one quick movement she was out. A piercing scream filled the air. Sutton laid back and panted, staring at this baby that the nurse had laid on her chest. Kristen was crying. So was Emma. "Who wants to cut the cord?" The nurse asked.

Emma smiled, "Can I?" The nurse nodded and handed her the scissors, showing her where to make the cut. Just as quickly as they'd laid the baby on her chest, they took her away again.

"Where are they taking her?" Sutton asked watching her daughter disappear behind a group of nurses.

"It's okay." Kristen said, stroking her daughters sweaty hair, "They are going to check her vitals and make sure she's healthy."

Sutton thought about this. She was two weeks early, "I had her two week early though. Is she okay?" It was almost as if motherly instinct had kicked in.

Kristen smiled, "Yes baby. It's perfectly normal to have a baby two weeks early. You did wonderful Sutton. I am so proud of you." She kissed Sutton's head.

Emma nodded, "You are amazing."

Then a nurse with a smile on her face, came in holding the tiny baby wrapped in a blanket and handed her to Sutton, "Here you are, mommy. She's absolutely perfect. 6 pounds 3 ounces."

Sutton looked at the baby she held in her arms. Forever this was how it was going to be. She looked at her daughter, the tiny baby blinked at her, "Did you pick a name?" Emma asked, reaching out to grab the tiny hand that peeked out from under the blanket, "She's perfect, Sutton."

Sutton nodded, suddenly feeling guilty and wishing that Thayer was there to see this, "She is perfect. I was thinking Kendall, Kendall Alexandra Mercer."

"It's beautiful." Emma said, "And it's not Hadley, so that's good."

Sutton smiled, "No. Not Hadley." She said. She pressed a kiss to her newborn daughters forehead, "I love you Kendall."

**A/N: Phew! That was quite a lot to get out there! I hope y'all enjoyed the birth of baby Kendall! I am finally at my favorite part of the story. Major things coming! So keep reading! Comment below and let me know what you think now that the baby is finally here!**


	18. Everything Has Changed

Sutton rolled over, she'd finally been able to get some sleep now that Kendall was born. She'd been in the nursery for the last few hours and that allowed Sutton some time to sleep. When she sat up she saw Rebecca, standing there in the doorway, arms crossed and a scowl on her face, "Whoa. Hi to you too." Sutton said jokingly. But Rebecca didn't laugh.

"What the hell was that about?" She asked coldly.

Sutton sat up, her stomach still ached some, "What was what about?"

Rebecca stepped foreword, "You picked _her _over me? Sutton _I'm _your mother. Not her. Did you forget that?"

"I'm sorry. I just didn't think in the moment. You know how it is when you're in labor. You can't think rationally."

"Think rationally? Sutton, that didn't require thinking at all. Don't you think I would have wanted to be there? Don't you think I wanted to see my granddaughter come into the world?" Rebecca shouted at her.

"I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do now. What's done is done." Sutton shouted back, "Look I'm not going to fight with you about this. It's not that big of a deal."

Rebecca crossed her arms again, "Not that big of a deal? Sutton you're my daughter! I should have been in here. Not Kristen. I am your mother, damn it!"

"You know what?" Suddenly anger washed over her, "No. You gave me up, remember? You lost all rights as my mom the moment you signed the adoption papers. So don't come in here yelling at me because I picked the woman who raised me to be here when my daughter was born!"

"I told you, I couldn't _be _a mother, Sutton. But it doesn't change the fact that you're my daughter."

"It does, though. Kristen is my mom. She was there for me when you weren't."

Rebecca felt hot tears pierce her eyes, as if it wasn't hard enough realizing all she'd lost 18 years ago, she finally realized that Sutton had a point. As much as she wanted to be Sutton and Emma's mom, she never can be. The choices she made back then changed how her kids would look at her from that day forward. Rebecca moved towards her daughter, "This has been incredibly painful for me, Sutton. Seeing you with her. I know she's your mom. I know she raised you. But I gave you your life. You're _my _daughter. You and Emma." Tears fell down her cheeks and she wiped them away, "I can't even begin to tell you how it feels seeing you and her together. Hearing you call her mom."

Sutton felt guilty. She knew that this couldn't be easy for Rebecca, "I call you mom, too." She said, trying to make Rebecca feel an ounce better.

Rebecca looked at her, "I know and I love hearing you say that. But I would have loved to seen my granddaughter come into the world."

Just then a nurse pushed a small bassinet into the room, "Hello, mommy." She said. Rebecca and Sutton looked at the tiny baby that laid soundly in the bed. The nurse lifted the infant from the bed and handed her to Sutton. Sutton smiled as she took the baby. She still couldn't believe she'd made such a tiny miracle. Rebecca looked over Sutton's shoulder at her granddaughter.

"Sutton, she's beautiful." Rebecca said, "May I hold her?" Sutton nodded, it was the least she could do after Rebecca's breakdown moments ago. She passed the child to Rebecca, "Oh hello." Rebecca said smiling, "You are so tiny. You look just like your mommy when she was born."

Sutton smiled, "If it makes things better, You're the first person to hold her aside from me."

Rebecca looked at her daughter and smiled, "It does, and I'm sorry Sutton. I didn't want to blow up on you."

Sutton nodded, "I know. It's fine."

Rebecca looked back at Kendall, "You are the luckiest little baby alive." She said wrapping her hand around Kendall's tiny little fingers.

"Hey." Emma said turning the corner to the hospital room, "Did you miss us?"

Sutton looked up from the bed, "I was able to get some sleep." But it seemed like now the only one getting attention was the tiny baby that was now sleeping soundly in Rebecca's arms.

"Ethan is here. Is it okay if he comes in?" Emma asked. Sutton nodded and Emma motioned for him to come in.

"Hey, Sutton. Congratulations." He held a large balloon with the words, 'It's a girl' in pink bold letters and a small teddy bear. He handed Sutton the gifts.

"Thank you Ethan." She said smiling as he leaned down to give her a hug.

Sutton sat up and looked around her. Mads, Ethan, Kristen, Emma, and Laurel all sat around talking. Kristen told stories of Sutton's childhood and how 'she was still shocked her baby was a mother.' Sutton felt thankful for the family that she had. But still she hoped that maybe, just maybe, Thayer would come walking in ready to be a father. But in the back of her mind she know that was a pipe dream.

The next morning, Sutton had gathered all of the gifts, flowers and balloons that her family and brought to her during their visits. It was time for her to go home and she was waiting for Emma and Kristen to bring up the car. She held tiny Kendall in her arms and looked down at her. She'd been asleep all morning. When Kristen pulled up, Emma helped put Kendall in the tiny car seat Kristen bought the day before while they were out getting dinner. The infant didn't even budge in the transport. Sutton climbed in the car next to her daughter, "Drive carefully." She said. Her hand rested on her daughters tiny tummy, feeling the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.

"Over protective mommy, already." Kristen joked.

"She's just so tiny and fragile." Sutton said.

Kristen looked back at her daughter and granddaughter in the rearview mirror, "I will drive carefully." She smiled.


	19. Mama who Bore Me

Sutton groaned and rolled over, she blinked in the darkness of her bedroom, she hadn't been asleep an hour when Kendall began crying. She looked at her phone, 3:08 am. This was the third time she'd woken up to feed her daughter and she was beginning to get fed up. She turned the bedside lamp on and sat up. the tiny baby squirmed in the small basinet beside Sutton's bed. She lifted the tiny child, supporting her head just as she was taught at the hospital. Kristen had pulled her old rocking chair from the Mercer's sitting room and put it in Sutton's room, "This was the same chair I used to rock you to sleep in." She said that afternoon when they had come home. Kristen and Laurel had helped turn Sutton's preppy room into a makeshift nursery after dropping Mads and Emma off at the airport. They had yet to figure out where exactly Kendall would sleep. But for now, Sutton's room had to suffice. Sutton relaxed into the rocking chair, she was getting used to this whole nursing thing, but right now all she wanted was to just sleep. She watched as the small baby ate and she began feeling her eyelids droop. She rested her head on her hand and closed her eyes. When Kendall had finished eating, she held the baby who cuddled against her mother's shoulder. Sutton leaned her head against the rocking chair and closed her eyes. Was this the future of sleeping? When Kendall was fast asleep, Sutton laid her gently back down on the bed. But just as Sutton thought that she would be able to sleep again, Kendall began crying, "Oh my god, kid." she groaned. She lifted the baby back up again and began to bounce her, hoping the gentle movement would soothe the baby back to sleep. But after 20 minutes, Sutton began getting angry, "Stop crying." she groaned. All she wanted was sleep.

When she woke the next morning, she looked at Kendall asleep in her basinet. There was something so calm and serene about her. She may have gotten a total of 5 hours of sleep that night, but when Sutton looked at her daughter, she knew she couldn't stay angry. Sutton grabbed the baby monitor and headed to the kitchen. Kristen was already awake and reading the living section of the newspaper, "Good morning. How was the first night?" She asked as Sutton poured herself a glass of orange juice.

"Restless and aggravating. She doesn't stop crying." Sutton moaned.

Kristen looked at her and smiled, "Sounds about right."

Sutton sighed, "So this is it? I'm doomed for sleepless nights?" She sipped her juice.

Kristen stood up and grabbed another K-cup for her keurig machine and made another cup of coffee, "For the first few months, yeah. You didn't sleep through the night until you were 6 months old."

Sutton sighed, "six months?"

"I told you that this wasn't going to be easy, Sutton. And it won't get any easier." Kristen pushed a lock of Sutton's hair that had fallen from her ponytail overnight. Just as a cry came over the monitor.

Sutton groaned, "I'm beginning to have adverse reactions to that noise."

"Do you want me to get her?" Kristen offered pulling her coffee cup from the Keurig.

Sutton shook her head, "No, she's going to want to be fed. She's so demanding." Kristen smiled and watched her daughter disappear across the house. When she arrived thirty minutes later, she held Kendall in her arms. The baby blinked at her and checked out her surroundings. She wore long footed pajama's with pink flowers and baby giraffe's she'd bought at Modern Grace and a pair of pink mittens to keep her hands warm over night.

Kristen smiled, "Good morning, Angel. Are you driving your mama crazy?"

Sutton looked at her daughter, "Yes grammy." She answered in a baby voice.

"that's my baby." She said. She reached out for the infant and when Sutton put her in her arms she held her close, "I've definitely missed this."

"Please don't have another baby!" Sutton demanded.

Kristen laughed, "No, no. I have this angel." She placed a kiss on Kendall's forehead. The baby yawned and stretched.

"Well now that you have her, can I go shower?" Sutton asked. It seemed weird to ask permission to bathe in her own home. But she couldn't just leave Kendall unattended. Kristen nodded and she thanked her mom and made her way to her shower.

As she headed down the hallway, she passed Laurel who'd just woken up and she looked at her big sister, "Your kid screams too much."

"You're telling me. I barely slept at all last night."

"I know and I don't think you should be exposing your child to just language at a young age."

Sutton made a face, "I don't think she understands anything I'm saying to her."

"No but she can understand anger in your voice." Laurel lectured.

"Look, I don't need this. I didn't sleep last night and I would appreciate it if you'd spare me your lamaze lessons." Then she pushed past her sister and slammed the bathroom door behind her.

"Miss. Becker, can I see you at my desk please?" Mr. Harris said as the class began filing out of the classroom. It was the last of Emma's classes for the day and she was about to meet Mads for lunch. She swallowed as she stepped his desk. He waited until the last student had left the room before he spoke, "Emma, you missed the test on Friday and I didn't see an email or a voicemail from you."

Emma looked down, "I know. I'm sorry. My sister went into labor Thursday night and I had to take a last minute flight home to be with her."

"Miss. Becker, this is college. What you do here is your prerogative. But I made it clear the first day of semester that anyone who misses a test without proper notification may not make up the test."

Emma blinked, "I can't take a zero. Please. I've studied for this test. I'm ready."

Mr. Harris stood up and grabbed his briefcase, "Then you should have been here when everyone else was ready."

Emma's jaw dropped, "And miss the birth of my niece?"

"Miss. Becker school is a full-time job and you need to treat it as such. If you want to be here, you need to make it your first priority."

"I understand that and it is my first priority, but this was a matter of family. Shouldn't family always come first?"

"I'm not going to argue with you, Mrs. Becker, but you need to reconsider how you treat school. You are a very bright student. It's clear in your writing that you are smart. But you need to be here on test days. Now, I will let you retake the test this one time. But the next test you miss, I will not be so nice. Ok?" Emma nodded, thankful that he would allow her to make up the test, "I will leave the test in the testing center for you. You have until 5 tomorrow to complete it."

Emma smiled, "Thank you and I won't miss another test, I promise."

Mr. Harris gave her a warm smile, "You're welcome and congratulations on becoming an aunt."

Emma smiled, "Thank you so much." She grabbed her bag and headed out of the classroom. She grabbed her phone from her purse to find three new text messages from Sutton, "I'm doomed to no sleep :(", "All she does is cry, sleep and poop." and the last was a picture message of Kendall in the Stanford onesie Emma bought at orientation. Emma smiled, "I'm sorry you aren't getting any sleep. But look at how adorable she is. :) Give her a kiss for me. I love you." Emma smiled and slid her phone into her back pocket as she headed towards the Student Union where she'd planned on meeting Mads after their classes.

When she found Mads sitting at a tall round table, she crashed into her friends arms, "You okay?"

"Oh yeah, you know, just trying not to get shot." Emma said sighing.

"What?" Mads said putting her arms around Emma.

Emma stood up, "I missed my English test on Friday cause Sutton went into labor. I almost wasn't allowed to make it up."

"But you'll get too, right? It's not like you skipped class cause you weren't ready."

"No. I can make it up. I had endure professors lecture on why school should be the most important thing in my life right now and that I need to reconsider why I'm here."

Mads twisted her face, "What? Sounds like this guys an asshole."

"Grade A. But at least he is letting me take the test." Emma said picking up her purse that she'd dropped on the ground, "Let's get some food."

"Chipotle?" Mads suggested.

Emma smiled, "You know my weakness, kind sir."

Mads smiled, "Well you know, sounds like you need some tex mex in your life right now."

Emma sighed, "Ugh, guacamole and chips here I come!" She said as they headed down the long hall to the small restaurant.


	20. Home Is Where The Heart Is

Emma boarded the plane behind Mads. She was thankful for a few days off for Thanksgiving and couldn't wait to get home to her sisters and Kendall. Even though finals were right around the corner, Emma decided not to worry about school until after the holiday break. She took her seat by the window next to Mads and pulled out her phone: Can't wait to come home. See you in a few hours! Xoxo." she sent to Sutton in a text. then she sat back and waited to take off.

Meanwhile, Sutton had gone through three diapers in 5 minutes. It was like as soon as she was done changing her, she'd already filled the new one and Kendall sure knew how to stink up a room, "The day you potty train will be the best day of my life." Sutton said looking at her little girl on the changing table. She'd just turned a week old and Sutton was starting to get used to the schedule, even if she did miss sleeping at night. Kendall made a face that looked like she was smiling at her mother and Sutton couldn't help but smile back, "There, this is the last time I'm doing this." She said even though she knew she'd change her daughter's diapers every time she filled another one. She lifted her daughter and pressed her to her chest. It seemed as if she was on a constant repeat with this kid. Change her, feed her, put her down for a nap. Repeat. Often times, she'd found herself falling asleep with Kendall asleep on her chest. She had to admit that it was exhausting taking care of a newborn, but it was definitely a rewarding job. She kissed Kendall on the forehead as she laid the baby down in her basinet. This was the last week Kendall would be sleeping in a basinet and would soon move into her crib that she'd yet to assemble. Just as Sutton had laid her down, she began to cry. Sutton sighed, "all you want is for me to hold you. There really is no rest for the mama, is there?" She lifted Kendall again and sat in the rocking chair. Immediately, she began singing a song she'd heard on the radio. She hadn't really sang like that since she was in Middle school when she thought she'd try out for the school musical. Kristen stood outside her daughters door, listening to her daughter. It was always such a blessing listening to her sing, it was definitely a gift she'd never invested in.

When Kendall was fully asleep, Sutton stood up careful not to jolt her body and risk Kendall screaming. She laid Kendall on her bed and laid beside her. She pulled the cover over her body and closed her eyes. The littlest movements from her daughter made Sutton's eyes shoot open. Before Kendall's birth Sutton was known for being a stone cold sleeper, "you could sleep through the atomic bomb." Emma used to joke. But now, even the tiniest pin drop could jolt Sutton from a deep sleep. Kristen crept into Sutton's room. There was something so precious at the sight of her daughter and granddaughter fast asleep on Sutton's bed. She grabbed her cell phone and took the opportunity to snap a photo. Then she leaned down and kissed both her girls before creeping back out again.

When Sutton woke, the sun had set and the smell of chicken and rice wafted into her room. Sutton looked next to her to find Kendall gone, "Shit, Shit Shit." Sutton said. She sat up and looked in the basinet but it was empty, "No, fuck, shit!" She looked on the ground praying her daughter hadn't rolled off the bed, but when she wasn't there she drew in a sigh. Yet, she still didn't know where Kendall was. Sutton stood up and ran into the living room, "Mom?"

"Yeah, sweetie. In the kitchen." Kristen called back. The shouse was dark, but the light of the kitchen flooded into the living room and Sutton followed the light. She looked around the living room, but all the usual places Kendall would be were empty. She checked her swing and her pack and play but Kendall was nowhere, "Where is Kendall?" But just as she said that she saw Kendall in the other baby swing rocking softly side to side. Sutton drew in a sigh, "What the hell. How did she get out here?"

"She was crying and I didn't want her to wake you, so I took her. I'm sorry for scaring you, honey." Kristen said stirring a sauce over the stove.

Sutton put her hand to her heart, "I didn't know what the hell happened, I was so scared she fell off the bed or was abducted. How long was I out?"

Kristen looked at the clock on the microwave above the stove, "About 3 hours."

"Three hours? Why didn't you wake me?" Sutton moved to the swing and lifted Kendall pressing her to her chest, she knew it was close to her feeding time.

"Because I know you needed the sleep, Sutton. Kendall was perfectly fine."

Sutton looked at her, "I know she's fine. But you shouldn't have just taken her without me knowing." She snapped.

Kristen looked hurt, she thought that she was helping Sutton out, "I'm sorry sweet heart, I won't help out anymore."

Sutton pulled the tiny shirt down her daughters back, "It just freaked me out. I'm so scared something is going to happen to her."

Kristen smiled, "I know baby. I was just like that with you. I had no idea what I was doing and I was so scared I was going to do something wrong, but I learned as I went along. It's okay to have these fears Sutton, it's normal motherly fears. But you are doing an amazing job."

Sutton smiled, "Wait, what time is it?"

Kristen looked at the microwave clock again, "8:15."

Sutton smiled, "You know what that means, Kendall?" She said softly, "Auntie Emma should be here soon." She was actually really excited to see Emma again. She barely had time to catch up the last time Emma was in town and she couldn't wait to spend some time with her twin. Sutton moved to the lazy chair and propped Kendall up for her feeding, just as Kendall started eating, the front door opened and a winded Emma dropped her bags in the door, Sutton spun around, "Emma!" She said.

Emma smiled and shut the door, "Hey you! How's my little niece?"

Sutton nodded, "Good to see you too."

Emma picked up on her hint, "I'm sorry." She leaned down to hug her sister, "I'm glad to see you too." Then she looked at Kendall, "Look at how big she's getting."

"She has a huge appetite." Sutton said, running her fingers over her daughters peach fuzz.

Emma smiled and sat down on the couch next to Sutton, "I see that. So how are you handling the change?"

Sutton shrugged, "I'm getting there. It's a challenge, but it's amazing. I still can't believe I made her."

Emma nodded, "You did. You and Thayer. Have you heard from him at all?"

Sutton shook her head, "I don't expect too." She looked down at Kendall, "How could he just leave this. Look at her, doesn't she deserve to know her dad?"

"Of course she does, I don't know how he can just walk away and not even care." Emma shook her head. It still pissed her off that Thayer had just taken off the way he did, "Do you think he'll be back for Thanksgiving?"

Sutton shook her head, "doubt it, he was never that close with Alec. I know he loves Mads but he won't come back just for her."

Emma looked at Kendall who had finished eating, "Can I hold her?"

"Sure." Sutton passed the baby over to her twin sister.

Emma cradled the tiny child in her arms, "Do you think she'll be able to tell which one is her mommy?"

Sutton hadn't thought about this before. It was true that Emma and Sutton were identical, would Kendall know the difference, "I hope so. I mean, I'm sure she'll figure it out."

Emma kissed her niece who yawned in her arms, "I am your Auntie Emma. You'll know it's me cause I'm smarter than your mama." Then she shot Sutton a silly grin.

"Please don't lie to my daughter, we don't need to start early habits." Sutton said slapping Emma gently across the arm.

"I'm sorry. So have you eaten yet? I'm starving." Emma said rocking Kendall as she slowly fell asleep in her arms.

Sutton shook her head, "Not yet. Mom's making some kind of chicken and rice."

"I love mom's chicken and rice. Where's Laurel?" She asked looking around the dark living room.

"I don't actually know. I fell asleep for three hours and I haven't seen her tonight." Emma stood up and laid Kendall in her pack and play. She laid a small cotton blanket over her tiny body and headed into the light of the kitchen.

"Mommy!" Emma said with a huge grin. Kristen looked up from the stove and smiled at the sight of Emma standing in the kitchen.

"Hi baby!" She said wiping her flour covered hands on her apron and wrapping her arms around her daughter, "You're here!"

Emma nodded, "It's me, in the flesh." She said with a chuckle. Remembering back to the first time she saw Sutton at the bus station and she made that comment to Emma. Kristen squeezed her daughter again.

"How was your flight?" She asked turning the stove off preparing to serve the meal.

Emma sighed, "Horrible. Our flight was delayed 3 hours and Mads and I were stuck in the terminal so we didn't get to eat and now I'm starving! Where's Laurel?"

"Laurel had some thing's she needed to go do. She was very vague but she sounded excited about it."

Emma nodded as Kristen placed a plate of food in front of her, Then one in front of Sutton, "I see how it is. She'd rather go out then spend time with her own sister." Emma pretended to pout, then she smiled, "I am, however, so looking forward to sleeping in my own bed tonight. I can't tell you how badly I'd missed my room and privacy." Emma said taking a huge bite of chicken, "And home cooked meals. This is by far _way _better than meal plan and fast food. Thank you mommy." she said smiling.

Kristen smiled, "you're welcome sweetheart. I'm so glad you're here." Emma smiled as she continued to devour her dinner. When she was done, she went with Sutton give Kendall bath, even though she'd been asleep throughout all of dinner and she knew waking her up would only result in a restless night, Sutton knew she needed to at the very least feed her once more before putting her down for the night.

As per the usual, Kendall screamed as soon as the lukewarm water hit her naked body. Emma smiled, even though she could feel (or much rather, hear) her niece's pain, she was too precious. Sutton tried to wash her as quickly as possible, running a wet wash cloth full of Johnson's bedtime bath soap along her daughter's skin. When she'd fully rinsed her daughter off, she wrapped a small pink towel around the wet child and as soon as she pressed Kendall to her chest, the baby stopped crying, "Oh yeah, now you're fine." Sutton said, "Can you hand me that lotion?" She asked pointing to a bottle of bedtime lotion that sat in the shelf above the toilet in the bathroom. Emma reached for it and handed it to her sister, "Thank you. Can you also get me a diaper from my room? They are in a basket underneath the changing table. I'm sorry. You shouldn't be running around like this for me."

Emma stood up, "No it's okay, I'll be right back." Then she took off down the hall to Sutton's room. She grabbed a new diaper and headed back to the bathroom. Part of her was envious of Sutton. There was something so magical and sweet about a newborn baby. She almost wanted one of her own. But she tried hard not to entertain the idea.

She handed her sister the diaper, "Thank you." Sutton said taking the diaper and laying it open to put on her daughter. She grabbed the clean pajama's that she'd brought with her to the bathroom and zipped them up. When Kendall was cleaned and dressed, Emma opted to hold her. She bounced the precious child in her arms and she began singing "Mama Who Bore Me" One of her favorite songs from the musical Spring Awakening, "Wow, Emma. I didn't know you sang."

Emma looked up at Sutton, "Oh yeah. When I was little I used to sing all the time. It helped me stay calm when I got angry."

Sutton smiled, though singing was her thing, "You have a beautiful voice."

Emma smiled, "Thank you." Then she looked at Kendall whom she cradled in her arms, "She's fast asleep."

"You are really good at this." Sutton said. Normally it took Sutton a while of bouncing and rocking to put Kendall to sleep, but after 5 minutes, Kendall was fast asleep in her Aunt's arms. Sutton was almost jealous.

"Oh. Thanks." Then she followed Sutton towards her room.

"Lay her there." Sutton said pointing at the basinet. Emma did as she was instructed. She placed a gentle kiss on Kendall's forehead.

"Good night, sweet Angel. I'll see you in the morning." Then she crept quietly out of the room, cracking the door behind her.

**A/N: I've uploaded a LOT of chapters today! I went on a bit of a writing binge. I hope you guys are enjoying reading it as much as I'm enjoying writing it. Let me know in the comments. I'm still working on my big surprise. So keep an eye out. :) As always, thanks for reading! 3**


	21. It's Thanksgiving!

"Good morning!" Kristen said with a smile. It was Thanksgiving morning and Emma had just rolled out of bed her messy bun flopped on the top of her head. She grabbed the orange juice and poured a glass.

She smiled, "Morning. It smells amazing in here." Emma could tell she'd been up for hours cooking. The counter was packed with ingredients, a dressed but uncooked turkey sat in a roasting pan awaiting his time to shine. Three different pies sat in a row on the island, apple, pumpkin and blueberry. All of which were Emma's favorite. She gave her mom a kiss on the cheek and then took her juice to Sutton's room.

She knocked quietly before pushing the door open, Sutton looked up from the rocking chair and smiled, "Hey. Come in." Emma padded barefoot to her bed, the soft carpet under her feet felt could after all that hardwood that covered her room and the rest of the house. She sat on Sutton's unmade bed.

"Did you just wake up?" She asked looking at the unfluffed pillows and blankets sprawled.

"No. She's been up since 6." Sutton said looking down at Kendall who blinked up at her mom while she ate.

"You've been up since 6?" Emma said impressed. Usually Sutton was the last to wake up, sleeping in till at least 10 am on non-school days.

"Yeah, I don't remember what it's like to wake up after the sun." She said, she ran her finger along the babies arm, slipping it between her hand, Kendall's little fingers wrapped around her mother's larger finger. Sutton looked up at her sister, "But it's not so bad." She smiled.

Emma nodded, "I bet." She reached over and rubbed her nieces soft skin. Sutton had Kendall in a navy blue ruffled dress with light pink flowers on it, a gift from Mads when Kendall was born, "So mom is going crazy in the kitchen. You know this is my first real Thanksgiving?"

Sutton looked up at her sister, she seemed to forget that Emma hadn't always been there for thanksgiving's past, "You never had thanksgiving at your foster homes?"

Emma shrugged at the memory, "Not really, and even when we did it never felt right. I always had this dream of sitting at the table, with my family, talking, laughing, sharing what we're thankful for, eating lots of food and then sleeping it off. My foster families never felt like home."

Sutton looked down at her daughter who was finishing up eating. Everything Emma had described sounded exactly like the Mercer's. Alec, Mads and Thayer usually came over and watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and there was always enough food for a small army. Kristen made everyone go around the table and say what they're thankful for before anyone could eat and after dinner, they'd gather around to watch the first holiday movie of the year before crashing for the night. She looked up at her twin, "Well you're going to love it here then." She said pressing her daughter to shoulder and rubbing her back until she burped.

Emma reached out for the infant as Sutton stood up, "Anything is better than foster families. This especially and being here with you and Kendall. I don't even need food to be thankful."

"Well you better find some space in that stomach, cause there's always tons of food." Sutton said. She pulled the burp cloth off her shoulder and tossed it on her bed. The girls made their way out to the living room as the doorbell rang. Sutton opened the door, "Oh Alec, hi."

"Hello Sutton. How are you doing?" He said.

Sutton swallowed nervously, she hadn't sen or even thought of Alec since Thayer took off, "Oh, um. I'm good. Where's Rebecca?" She asked looking out past his shoulder for her birth mother.

"She and Mads were still parking the car. May I?" He asked gesturing to enter the house.

Sutton took the hint, "Oh yeah, I'm sorry. Come in." Alec smiled and pushed past her and into the foyer.

When he saw Emma he smiled, "Hello Emma. Is that?" Emma nodded, "My granddaughter." He gave an almost cold smile to Sutton who just kept her eyes low, "Does she have a name? It is a she, right?"

Sutton made a face skeptically, She didn't really know how to answer that question, so she went with, "Yes." Even though she really wanted to call him out for being stupid since she was wearing a dress. A dress that in fact his own daughter bought for her niece, "Her name is Kendall."

Alec nodded, "Oh right, right. Maddie was talking about her. I didn't know it was your daughter she was talking about."

Sutton stared at him, "You can hold her if you want to, she's your granddaughter."

At first Alec was taken aback, after all she was right. Kendall was Thayer's daughter. His son. Even though he'd taken off, Alec was still Kendall's only grandfather. He smiled, "Are you sure?"

Sutton nodded, "Just be careful cause she just ate, I don't want her to spit up on your nice shirt." Even though a part of Sutton would've loved to see how Alec would handle that.

Emma moved the tiny child so that Alec could hold her, just as he was getting a gentle sway going, Rebecca and Mads walked in. Mads froze and stared, there was something so weird about seeing her dad holding a baby, especially when it's his own grandchild. Alec smiled at his daughter, "She's so precious." He said.

Mads nodded, "Yeah. She is. Too bad Thayer can't be here to see it." She rolled her eyes and pushed past her father and Kendall, "Hey Emma." She said hugging her friend. Then she turned to Sutton, "Hey Sutton, how are you? Is everything going well with Kendall?" She wrapped her arms around Sutton.

Sutton sighed, "Yeah. I'm still getting used to it all. Still weird to think that she's my responsibility, ya know?" She pulled out of the hug. Mads nodded, "Like I can't just give her back when I get tired of her."

"No, but you have Laurel and your mom to help you out when you need a break." Mads said.

"I know, but still. Even if I move out, I have to do it on my own." The girls moved to the living room, it was almost time for the parade to start and Sutton set up the TV. She went and sat between Mads and Emma, curling her feet beneath her.

"Do you want her back?" Alec asked gesturing to the now sleeping Kendall.

Sutton looked at him, "You can keep holding her if you want." Truth is, she'd been with Kendall everyday since she'd been born and quite frankly, she liked all the attention she was getting.

Just then Rebecca showed up, "I'll take her honey if you are tired of holding her." Rebecca smiled, it'd be the first time she'd get to hold her granddaughter and was eager to spend some time with the child.

"Is that okay, Sutton?" Alec asked, Sutton half looked up and then waved a hand as if to say yeah that's cool.

Alec handed Rebecca the baby. Rebecca smiled, "Well hello there." She cooed, "You are just too precious." Now the baby had been stirred awake. She made a few soft cries but then stopped and stared at Rebecca's elaborate faces. Rebecca looked up at Alec, "Honey, I want one of these."

Alec looked at her, "Well you can have all the time you can with that one, because you aren't getting one from me. I'm done."

"Thank god!" Sutton and Mads said in unison from the living room. Then they burst into laughter.

"But look at her." Rebecca said. Now Kendall was sucking on her fingers, making the same sucking pattern she did when she nursed. She blinked at Rebecca, "She is the most precious little thing."

"She's darling, sweetheart, but I've done my parenting. I just sent my youngest off to college. I'm done." Alec said looking out at his own baby who was fully grown. Even if holding Kendall made him miss having babies around, he wasn't sure he was ready for another eighteen years of responsibility

"I know. But I missed my chance. I miss these times and Emma was such an easy baby."

Kristen snorted, "Well weren't you lucky. Sutton was such a difficult baby." Sutton turned from the couch and looked into the kitchen, she knew they were talking about her, "She cried all the time."

Rebecca smiled, "Emma rarely cried. I didn't even know she was teething until she cut her first tooth. I mean she drooled a lot but she never cried from the pain."

"Eventually we found out it was because of colic that caused her to cry so much." Kristen said, "Then she grew up and has acid reflux disease."

Sutton groaned, "I hate when parents have to talk about you like you can't hear what they are saying." From the kitchen she could hear her daughter's cries pierce through the room. Sutton sighed and stood up, "Just a break, that's all I really want." She padded to the kitchen, "Hey screamy, I'm right here." She said, taking her baby in her arms and walking back to the living room. The moment Sutton lifted her in her arms, Kendall stopped crying, "Really, Kenz? You can't let anyone else hold you?" Sutton shook her head. She took her seat back on the couch, but as soon as she sat down Kendall screamed again. Sutton rolled her eyes, "this is ridiculous Kendall. Can I just relax?" her cries subsided as she stood up, "Ok seriously. As long I'm holding her and I'm standing, she's fine. This kid seriously knows how to work it."

Emma looked up at her, "Clearly, she takes after her mommy."

Sutton shot her a look, "You're not funny."

Mads looked at Emma, "I thought it was funny."

"Ha. Ha." Sutton rolled her eyes. She looked down, Kendall was sucking her fingers and staring at the ceiling fan. It was amazing how the most mundane things captured her attention. Often times, she'd catch her daughter staring at lights or the wall, "Please go to sleep." She begged.

"I don't think it works that way." Emma pointed out. At that moment, Laurel came out. She'd been MIA lately and Emma knew something was up, "So where have you been, lately?" She asked looking at her little sister.

Laurel shifted her weight, "No where. And it's none of your business."

Emma nodded, "Right, that's why you're getting all defensive."

Laurel put up her hands, "I'm not being defensive."

Sutton looked at her. Right. She thought. She knew Laurel all too well. She knew Laurel was a terrible liar. The more Emma prodded, the more likely she'd be to squeal. But she decided not to say anything. Instead she decided to make a move when they were alone. She looked at Kendall, finally the baby was asleep and she laid her in her pack and play. She covered her with the small cotton blanket that had been in there and went back to the couch, finally hoping to catch a break and just be with her friends.


	22. It's Thanksgiving pt 2

"Things not to tell your boss." Emma said reading the game card aloud. The family had just finished their Thanksgiving meal and were deep in a game of _Things. _Emma sat the card on the table and watched as the family wrote their answerson their strips of paper. Sutton was the first to fold her paper and pass it to her sister. When everyone handed in their answers, Emma read them out loud, "I'm ovulating. EWWW!" She cracked up, "Can we postpone the meeting? I really need to poop. Ohhh so gross. You guys are some nasty people." She unfolded another paper, "I'm having your baby. Yeah, probably should stay away from that one." When she'd read all of the answers She looked at Mads who sat next to her, "Alright Mads, you pick." Mads took a second to think, she looked at all the people at the table trying to figure out who write which answer, "Ok, I'm having your baby… Sutton?" Sutton shook her head, "Damn it!"

Sutton sat up, "Rebecca…. I'm having your baby?"

"Nope." Rebecca replied. Sutton snapped her fingers.

Kristen smiled and looked at her daughter, "I need to poop?"

Sutton made evil eyes at her, "I hate you."

The group of people laughed and Emma handed her sister the slip of paper with her bubbly handwriting on it. Sutton shook her head. After everyone had made their guesses only one slip of paper remained in Emma's hands.

She looked around the room, "Mom, you're having the bosses baby?"

Kristen smiled and nodded. Sutton sat up in shock, "Ew, Mommm! That's disgusting!"

Kristen shrugged, "I knew no one would think it was me."

"Yeah that's gross." Sutton said.

When the game ended, Emma and Mads picked up the pieces of paper and cleaned up the table while Rebecca and Kristen cleaned the dishes and Sutton went to feed Kendall again. Usually, this was the part of the day when Alec and Ted would catch up on the football game and wait for the movie to start.

When Sutton finished feeding her daughter, she came back to the living room, "Do you want to hold her?" She asked Alec who was flipping through an old Men's Health magazine. He looked up at Sutton.

"No I'm good, thanks." Sutton shrugged and laid the baby in the pack and play and sat on the couch beside Alec. He put down his magazine and looked at her, "Sutton. Can we talk?"

Sutton looked at him, "Now?"

"Yes, now. Listen, as much as I love you and this grandchild."

"Kendall." Sutton interrupted him.

Alec nodded, "Kendall. I just can't wrap my head around all of this. Sutton you're still so young. You shouldn't have to be raising this child alone."

Sutton shook her head, "I wasn't alone until your son decided to just up and disappear."

Alec nodded, "Yes, yes. I know all of this. Honestly, it doesn't surprise me. T has never been one to step up in times of crisis."

"Crisis?! Excuse me?" Sutton stood up, "I don't need this shit. I've taken enough of it from pretty much everybody else. You're just the icing on the fucked up cake." She stormed out of the living room and slammed her bedroom door behind her.

Kristen stepped into the room, "What was that about?" she asked wiping her hands on a kitchen towel.

Alec stood up, "I'm sorry, Kristen. I just can't let her live like nothing bad happened here."

Kristen twisted her face in confusion, "What do you mean, something bad?"

Alec looked at her like she was stupid, "This baby, Kristen. We can't pretend like this child is such a joy to our lives."

"Kendall is a joy to our lives. I'm sorry if you don't like the way things worked out, but I will not let you speak to my daughter like that." Kristen spoke firmly, letting Alec know the way he blew up like that wasn't appreciated.

Rebecca stepped out from the kitchen, "I don't appreciate you speaking to my daughter like that either." She said stepping next to Kristen.

Alec looked at them and put his hands up, "fine. But I'm just telling you now that I'm not so welcoming of this child as you are. This is my sons future we are talking about."

Kristen was fuming, "Your son's future? I'm sorry, who has been here to take care of this child since she was born? Who's been up with her every night feeding her and changing her diapers and comforting her when she cries? Your son made his choice. My daughter wasn't so lucky. So if anyone should be mad at anybody in this situation here it should be Sutton. Thayer took off when she needed him the most. So don't come in here preaching like you're some big shot who thinks everyone but their own kids are wrong. It was a joint decision. Neither more right or wrong than the other and the only person who loses in this is Kendall. Don't you think she deserves to know her father?"

Alec looked at her, it was true that Kendall was the one on the losing end here, but still he stood his ground, "I didn't come in here intending to act like this. Truth is, I forgot Sutton even had a daughter until she came out and told me I was a grandfather. I'm not ready for that."

Kristen shook her head, "Well you better get ready. Because this child isn't going anywhere and if you even remotely want a relationship with her, you better change your attitude on how you look at her, because until you do, you won't have a second with her alone. Got it?"

Everyone had to admit that usually Kristen was always the level-headed one. Calm, cool and collected. But when it came to Sutton and her children, there was no rational reasoning in her head. She would do anything for Emma, Sutton and Laurel and she made sure that anyone who tried crossing their paths know that. Alec nodded, "Yeah fine." Then he looked at Rebecca, "Let's go, honey." His gaze shot to Mads, "Mads, in the car please?"

Mads looked at him, "Emma can take me home later, daddy. I'm going to stay here and spend time with Sutton and my niece." She put an emphasis on 'my niece' making sure that he knew that even if he wanted nothing to do with Kendall, she was still her aunt and nothing he could do could change that.

Alec shook his head at his daughter, waving his hands in the air, "Fine, Maddie. Stay here. I don't care. Rebecca let's go."

Rebecca looked at Kristen who only gave her a welcoming smile, "I think I'm going to stay here too. I want to spend the holiday with my girls and my granddaughter." She said firmly.

Alec threw up his hands, "Fine. Find your own ways home. I'm leaving." Then he looked at Kristen, "As always Kristen, it was a lovely meal. Sorry our kids had to make things so messed up for us. Happy Thanks giving."

Kristen smiled, "They didn't mess anything up, and Happy Thanksgiving." and with that said, Alec turned and headed out the door.

When he was gone, Rebecca sighed. Kristen put her arm around Emma's shoulders and drew her in for a hug, "Let's go see your sister." She said. Emma nodded and all four of them headed down the hall to Sutton's room.


	23. Chasing Cars

Emma groaned, the alarm buzzed on the pillow beside her and she rolled over pressing the snooze button. The dark dorm room consumed her. Mads was still asleep, her eye mask covering her face. Emma reached over and turned on the bedside lamp. She sat up on the extra long twin bed and rubbed her eyes. She stood up and grabbed her shower caddy from it's place underneath her desk. She slipped on her rubber Old Navy flip flops and grabbed her keys. The hallway was quiet as she headed towards the community bathroom for a shower. It was the last week of classes and people were beginning to panic about upcoming finals. She had been studying every night since she'd been back from Thanksgiving break and she was feeling pretty good about her own finals. the bathroom was completely vacant. Emma liked it that way. She took her usual shower stall and hooked her caddy in the small changing area. She turned the water to hot and slipped out of her tank top and pajama shorts. She definitely wasn't going to miss this if it meant going back to the privacy of her own bathroom.

When she finished her shower, a few other girls had entered the bathroom, "I had the worst night." One of them said.

"That alpha phi beta party was ridiculous." The other said, "I haven't even been to sleep and I have a test in two hours."

Emma shook her head, she often wondered how some of these kids got into college, much less, Stanford, "Ugh, that sucks." The first girl said.

Emma put her pajama's back on and wrapped her hair in her large pink towel. She grabbed the stuff from the shower and placed it back in her caddy. As she pushed back the curtain, both girls looked at her, "Oh." One said. Emma just gave her a smile. Even though inside she was shaking her head at the two girls who looked like they'd been smacked by a large liquor truck, "I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone else was in here."

Emma smiled, "It's okay." She walked past the two girls and then the first girl turned to her, "Are you Sutton Mercer?" She asked.

Emma stopped just short of the door, she turned and looked at the girl, "No. Why?"

The girl blushed, "Oh I'm sorry. You looked exactly like her."

Emma looked at the girl, "How do you know Sutton?" Suddenly she felt her heartbeat faster.

The girl looked at her, "Oh nothing. It's just I met this guy at the alpha phi beta party last night. He kept talking about some girl named Sutton. You just look so much like her."

"I'm not." Emma said, "And what guy?"

The girl shook her head, assuming that Emma was only lying about her identity, "His name was Thayer, I think I'm sorry. I had a lot to drink last night. I can barely remember anything."

Emma's heart skipped a beat, "Thayer Rybak? He's here?"

The girl looked at her, "Yeah, that's him. Do you know him?"

Emma looked at her, "I need to know where he is. What else did he say about Sutton?"

The girl shook her head, "I honestly can't remember. All I really wanted was to sleep with him." Then she giggled knowing that most fraternity parties were about getting as drunk as possible and sleeping with just about anybody willing.

"You obviously remember enough to think I'm some other girl he was talking about, so if you can remember that, I'm sure you can muster something up that he said about her."

The girl twisted her face in confusion, "Are you _sure _you're not Sutton Mercer?"

Emma nodded frantically, "I promise. She's my twin sister and Thayer is the father of her child. Now if you'd be so kind as to tell me where I can find him, that'd just be spiffy."

Both girls looked at each other, "Wait, he has a kid?"

Emma looked at her, "Yes." You idiot. She wanted to add, but she needed these girls help as little as it may be, "Did he leave you a phone number?"

The girls pulled out their iPhones, "Hold on." she said. She scrolled through her phone list, most contacts listed as "Aplha Phi Fuck" and "Ugly don't answer" then she stopped, "Thayer Rybak." She said.

Emma's heart nearly stopped, "Can I please have that number?"

The girl looked at her, "what do I get for it?"

Emma shook her head, "Are you kidding me? This asshole dipped out on my twin sister and their child and you want some kind of reward? What the hell is wrong with you."

The girl looked at her and slipped her phone in her back pocket, "Fine. Then you can find someone else with his number."

Emma shook her head, "Please? This is important to me. Truth is, Sutton and I are twins. We were separated at birth and only met each other about a year ago. I never had a family growing up and she's the best thing that's ever happened to me. So please, wouldn't you do it for your family?" She knew this girl was going to write her story off for bullshit but Emma didn't care, she just needed Thayer's number.

The girl looked at her and sighed, "Fine." She pulled out her phone and gave Emma the number, "I assume that's his real number. I didn't actually call it."

Emma looked at the girl, "Thank you so much." She said grabbing her things and rushing back to her room.

Emma burst in the door, "Mads get up!" She said tapping Mads bare leg that stuck out from under her blanket. Mads stirred but didn't open her eyes, "Mads get up. I need to tell you something."

Mads opened an eye and looked at her, "This better be good. I was dreaming that Channing Tatum was about to propose to me."

"Too bad he's already married." Emma said, "But this is worth getting up for."

Mads sat up and rubbed her eyes, "What?" She sighed.

Emma sat on her bed and gave her friend an evil smile, "So I was in the bathroom taking my shower when these two girls walked in, clearly not the brightest crayons in the box and certainly not the most sober eith-"

"Emma, point." Mads said sitting her off.

"Point is, as I was leaving one of the girls asked me if I was Sutton."

Mads looked at her confused, "How does she know Sutton?"

"Apparently last night your brother was milling around the greek row party scene."

Mads perked up, "He was here?"

Emma nodded, "And. The best part is, I got his new number."

Mads looked at her surprised, "Wait, you have my brothers number?" Emma nodded again, "Emma you need to call him."

Emma looked at her, "Me? He's your brother."

Mads put up a hand, "Look one of us needs to call him."

Emma sighed, "Fine. I'll call him." She reached over and pulled her phone off the charger.

Mads looked at her, "Now?"

"Yes, now. He needs to know that what he did wash't okay." She said dialing the number the bathroom girl had given her. She pressed the phone to her ear and waited. Part of her hoped he didn't answer and the other hoped he would see the wrong in his ways and go back to Sutton and his daughter.

"Hey it's Thayer, sorry I can't take your call, leave me something and I'll get back to you." Voicemail. Damn it.

Emma sighed, "Thayer. It's me. Emma." She spoke slowly, "Listen, I know this is probably the worst thing I could do, but how could you do this to Sutton? Much less, how could you do this to your daughter. Yeah, she had a baby girl. Call Sutton. Make things right with her. If not for Sutton, do it for Kendall. She deserves to know who her father is. Please?" Then she sighed and hung up the phone. She looked at Mads, "Do you think he's going to call her?"

Mads shrugged, "I doubt it. I'd be shocked if he called you back let alone call her. But you did the right thing Emma. I know that your sister and that baby mean everything to you."

Emma smiled, "They are and I just want them to be happy."

Mads looked at her, "Even if he doesn't come back, Sutton is a strong girl. She will find her own happiness."

Emma nodded, "I know. But I know how much Thayer means to her. It would be nice if he did the right thing."

Mads nodded, "I agree. But let's face it, Thayer's never been one to do the right thing. I mean he's a good guy, but I don't think he's going to make the best decision in this case." Mads said standing up, "I'm gonna grab some breakfast you coming?"

Emma nodded, "Yeah. Let me change really quick."

Mads smiled, "Same here. Don't worry too much about your sister. She will be okay." Emma looked at her and smiled. Maybe she was right, Sutton was a strong girl who never really needed anybody's help. But still Emma hoped for a happy ending for her sister.

**A/N: Whattt? We found Thayer! Do y'all think he'll do the right thing? Leave me a comment and let me know what you think Thayer will do now that Emma contacted him when he tried to make himself non-existent to those people. Guess you can't be incognito forever, right? Thanks for reading as always! Comment down below and let me know what you're thinking! I love reviews!**


	24. Numb

Sutton pulled her phone out from her purse. No missed calls. No new text messages. She looked at the baby fast asleep in the stroller that she was pushing back and forth softly with her foot. The sound of the fountain echoed in the center of the mall. It was oddly quiet this weekday morning. Sutton had called Amanda the night before and planned on spending sometime together. She had to admit it was nice having a friend who could relate to her. Someone who understood the sleepless nights, the countless diapers, the amount of time she spent nursing her daughter. When she looked up she saw Amanda walking towards her and Sutton smiled, "Hey!" She said standing up, she gave her new friend a hug.

Immediately, Amanda peered into the stroller at the sleeping baby, "Hi sweet baby." She said softly, rubbing the bottom of Kendall's barefoot. The baby recoiled at the touch and smiled softly in her sleep. Sutton and Amanda couldn't help but laugh, "So how are things going?" Amanda asked.

Sutton smiled and unlocked the brake she had set on the stroller. The girls started down towards the shops, "It's getting better. I still miss being a normal eighteen year old." Amanda nodded, knowing the feeling all too well, "But you're right, it's worth it. When I see her smile, there's no better feeling."

Amanda smiled, "Wait until she's old enough to tell you she loves you. That first time she calls you mommy. I can't even tell you how incredible that's going to be." Amanda had to admit, being a mentor for Sutton was such a good feeling. She'd almost wished she'd had someone like to answer questions and relate to when her daughter was an infant. The girls merged into Zulily a small boutique for kids clothing. Immediately Sutton found a white dress with sunflowers on it, Blue ribbons tied around the neck in bows made for the sleeves of the dress. She looked at the tag, clearance. Awesome. She thought. She grabbed a size for up to 12 months assuming Kendall would most likely grow into it by next summer. She found Amanda looking at pink knitted cardigans, "Oh how cute!" She said lifting up one small enough for Kendall, "Hey, our girls can match!" Sutton joked. Since winter was around the corner and the cold air was coming around, Sutton decided it was time to put the tank tops and shorts away and buy some winter clothes. The store had even put out a selection of dresses perfect for Christmas eve. It was hard to believe her daughter would be a month old soon. It was even more mind blowing when Amanda and Sutton stopped in a toy store to start Christmas shopping, "What does Layla want from Santa?" Sutton smiled. She hadn't even thought about the story of Santa or the joy of childhood Christmas. The past several years it was just about Sutton getting anything she wanted and now it wasn't about her anymore. As Amanda wandered the Barbie and dress-up aisles, Sutton made her way to the infant toys. Even though Sutton had bought a plethora of toys for Kendall, there was never enough. Even though Kendall was too small still to really play with toys, anything that seemed to light up or make noise held her attention for a few seconds. Sutton certainly didn't think a year ago that this Christmas she'd be buying gifts for her daughter. She grabbed a few small dolls and light up toys.

"Turkey sandwich and broccoli cheese soup in a bread bowl." Thayer said setting the plate in front of a small brunette girl. She looked at him, her blue eyes sparkled in the sun light. They sat outside of the Panera under the California sunshine.

"Thank you." She cooed. She took the top of her bread bowl and pulled a piece off dipping into the hot soup, "Someone called you this morning, I was gonna tell you sooner, but I forgot." She smiled.

Thayer pulled out his phone, sure enough he had a missed call and a new voicemail. Thayer clicked the voicemail, "Hey Thayer. It's me. Emma." Thayer dropped his fork. The girl stared at him. Then he hung up the phone, "How the hell did she get my phone number?" He asked to himself.

The girl frowned, "How did who get your number?"

Thayer shook his head, "No one just someone from my past."

The girl stopped eating, "An ex?"

Thayer shook his head, "Not exactly. Sister of an ex."

"Why is she calling you?" The girl questioned.

"I don't know." He shrugged, "It doesn't matter. I'm done with that." His heart beat in his chest. A daughter, he thought. Suddenly he imagined Sutton, holding a baby. His baby. He tried imagining holding his baby. But it just seemed cloudy and hazy. He wasn't ready to be a father.

"Are you going to call her back?" She questioned.

Thayer looked at her, suddenly snapping back to reality, "What? No. I told you, I'm over that. Besides, I love you Olivia." He reached across the table and grabbed her hand. He swallowed hard, unable to get the idea of his baby out of his head.

"I love you too, Thayer." She smiled and pulled her hand back to keep eating.

Emma sat in class, her eyes seemed so heavy she could barely stay awake. The professor babbled on about the seven days war and Emma could barely keep her focus on a word he was saying. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she discretely slipped it out. New text from Sutton: hey, I miss you. Call me. She smiled: I will after class. Miss you too. Give Kendall a kiss for me. Xx. She slipped the phone back into her pocket. When class was dismissed, Emma pulled out her phone and dialed her sisters number, "Hey." She said when Sutton answered.

"Hey! What's up?" Sutton asked, she'd just pulled into the Mercer's driveway when her phone rang.

Emma headed down the hallway and out of the lecture hall building, The California sunshine warmed her skin, "Oh nothing." She said, "I mean something. But I don't know if telling you over the phone is a good idea."

Sutton swallowed hard, she pressed the phone between her shoulder and ear and opened the backdoor of the car, she reached in to unbuckle her daughters carrier, "What? Is it bad?"

Emma sighed, "I don't know, maybe?"

Sutton's heartbeat faster, She pulled the house key from her purse and turned the lock. She set Kendall down still in her carrier in the foyer of the house, allowing the air conditioner to cool her daughter down while she headed back out to get her purchases that were still in the trunk of the car, "well just tell me, cause now it's just going to bother me."

Emma took in a breath, "I found Thayer."

Sutton's heart fell to the pit of her stomach, "What?"

"I found Thayer," She repeated, "I mean I didn't actually see him or anything."

When she'd finished the whole story, Sutton sighed, "You have his phone number?"

"Yes." Emma replied plainly.

"Did you call him?" Sutton sat the bags on the island in the kitchen and walked back to the foyer. Kendall still slept soundly as if nothing was going on. She pushed the handle back and unbuckled the child's seat belt, lifting the baby causing her to stir but fell asleep on her mom's shoulder.

Emma felt guilt wash over her, maybe telling Sutton this wasn't a good idea especially because she didn't know if Thayer was actually going to reply to her attempt of getting in contact with him, "Yes."

Sutton shook her head, "What the hell, Emma? This isn't your problem."

She was angry, Emma expected this, "I'm sorry Sutton, I'm just trying to help you."

"I don't need your help, Emma." Sutton snapped, "I want his number."

"Sutton, no. Don't. Let him call you. You can't force him to come back." Emma tried to speak calmly.

"No shit, Emma! But it doesn't change the fact that he's a father. He doesn't get to just choose whether he wants to come back or not." Sutton was fuming, Emma could understand her anger, she was beginning to regret having told Sutton anything.

"I know that Sutton. Trust me, I want nothing more than for Kendall to grow up knowing her father."

Sutton sighed, "You don't understand, Emma. I need you to give me Thayer's phone number."

"No." Emma said firmly, "Not yet. Just give it time." She tried to be reasonable with Sutton but she knew that wasn't possible when she was like this. She waited for a reply, but all she got was a click. Emma pulled the iPhone from her ear, call ended, "Fine Sutton. So glad we can be adults about this." She slipped the phone in her purse and kept walking, she was done worrying about Sutton's problems. She really needed to get to the library and study for her finals.


	25. Seven Devils

Later that evening, Emma had just crashed into her bed. Mads was still in class and Emma enjoyed the little bit of alone time she had. She had closed her eyes when her phone rang, "Ugh, if this is Sutton I don't wanna talk about this anymore." But the name on the screen only made her smile, "Oh my gosh! Long time no talk!"

"I know, I've been missing you lately." Ethan's husky yet slightly sexy voice said over the receiver.

Emma's heart fluttered, "I miss you too. I'll be home in a week though."

Ethan smiled, "Oh good. I have a surprise for you."

Emma rolled over on her side, "Ooh? A surprise huh? Can I have a hint?"

"Negative. You can wait until you come home."

"Well my flight lands at 4:15 Friday afternoon. Will you come pick me up?"

"You don't want your sister to meet you?" Ethan asked.

"No, I wanna see my baby." She said she couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips, "Hey guess what?"

"hmm?"

"I found Thayer." There was silence on the other end of the phone, "Ethan?"

"Oh. You did?" His voice sounded flat.

"Yeah. Well kinda. I have his number."

"Does Sutton know?" He asked, running a hand through his thick black hair.

"Yeah. She called me this afternoon, I had to tell her."

"How'd she take it?"

Emma groaned, "Not well."

"I bet, what happened?" Ethan asked and when Emma finished telling him the story there was silence again, "Ethan?"

"You know he's not coming back right?"

"I know. But is it bad that a part of me wishes he would?" She asked honestly.

"No, you're a dreamer, Emma and I know you want this to end in a fairytale, But I just don't foresee that happening." Ethan said, "Just try not to make a bigger mess than this already is."

"I'm trying, really." Emma felt tears well up in her eyes.

Ethan could hear the impending tears in the shakiness of her voice, "Babe," he said softly, "Don't cry." His voice trying to soothe her, if he was there, she'd have her head on his shoulder, his arm around her, running his fingers through her brown hair.

Emma sniffled, "I'm trying not to. This is bad isn't it?"

Ethan breathed heavily, suddenly she was missing him even more. She wished he was sitting next to her, "Just don't call him anymore. Ok?"

Emma felt a single tear slip down her cheek and she wiped it away, " I miss you." she said softly.

"I know. I miss you too. We'll be together soon. Until then kill em on your exams. I love you, Emma."

She breathed heavily, "I love you too, Ethan."

"I goat go. Dan needs me to help him work on the jeep, but I will see you soon, ok?"

Emma nodded even though he couldn't see her, "Ok. I love you."

"I love you too." Those were his last words to her before the click. She stared blankly at end call screen, wishing that call never had to end. She wiped her phone on the sleeve of her T-shirt and rolled over, closing her eyes and allowing herself to fall asleep.

Thayer had been laying in bed wide awake for the past two hours, it seemed like every time he closed his eyes he saw images of Sutton. Holding the baby making dinner. Pushing her in the stroller in the brisk winter evenings. Playing on the living room floor. He tried to picture himself beside her but no matter how hard he tried it wasn't possible. He rolled over in the dark, letting his arm fall over Olivia's limp body. She pushed into his embrace and Thayer rubbed her bare arm. He remembered back to the Frat party he'd gone to with Olivia. The girls he'd seen there had asked him about his past, where he came from and who he was. Even though, he knew they wanted sex, he pretended to play into their interest. When one of the girls grabbed his phone and started taking selfies she accidentally landed on a photo of a young girl. Her brown hair cascading down her back. She was short against Thayer's tall stature. her loose fitted floral romper complimented her tan skin and her makeup was immaculate, "Who is that?" She asked pushing the phone in Thayer's face.

When he saw the photo he grabbed the phone, "Nobody." he said quickly.

The girls giggled to each other, "If it was nobody then why did you grab the phone so quickly?"

"She's nobody anymore." He confessed.

"Anymore. But she was somebody at one point?" The girl asked crossing her arms over her chest.

"She's my ex-girlfriend, Sutton from back in Phoenix." He said.

The girls looked at each other, "She's pretty."

"Really pretty." The other agreed.

Thayer looked at the photo. Sutton's beaming smile, her arm wrapped around his side. She was beautiful. But he just clicked the phone off, "Yeah well it's over. I'm with someone else now." He confirmed panning the room for Olivia.

The girls looked at each other, "You have a girlfriend?"

Thayer looked at the two girls who were clearly eager to do more than just talk about Sutton, "Yes, now if you'll excuse me I need to find her."

Thayer sighed, he rolled over in the dark again and grabbed his phone. He pressed the voicemail button again, "Hi Thayer. It's me. Emma." the voice said. But all he really heard was, "Call Sutton." Echoing in his head. He wavered, pulling up the dial screen on his iPhone, "What are you doing?" Olivia's voice broke the silence.

"Oh nothing." He lied.

"You were listening to that voicemail again." She sat up.

"Olivia, no. you don't understand. It's just…" His voice trailed off, he knew he needed to come clean to his girlfriend, but he was terrified of how she'd respond. He was a father.

"What Thayer? Are you over this Sutton girl?"

He looked at her, "Yes." lie. It wasn't that he wasn't over _her,_ he wasn't over his daughter. Maybe it was paternal instincts, "It's just that…"

Olivia sighed, "What? It's just what?"

"Nothing!" He snapped.

"Fine!" She huffed. She flopped back onto her side and pulled the cover to her chin.

"Liv, wait." But she was silent.

The next morning when he woke he was alone, "Olivia?" He called through the small apartment. He reached for his phone thinking b=maybe she'd left him a note but instead a picture message from Emma, when he opened it, his heart skipped a beat.

**A/N: Sorry for all the dialogue this chapter. I felt it was necessary more than action this time. Also, I hope you're enjoying the swift updates. I'm trying to get this story at the very least at a place where I won't leave you guys on a cliffie before Tuesday. Since the last Lying Game is released on Tuesday, I will probably be holed up for a day or two consuming myself in the final chapters of the book. Is anyone else going to read the book? Are you excited? Let me know!**


	26. Sensitivity

Emma looked at the picture her sister'd just sent her, It was of Sutton holding Kendall in her arms. The babies soft blue eyes stared into the camera. Her sister beamed holding Kendall close to her chest. Emma smiled: You two are adorable. She messaged back. But then she made a choice that may meant digging a bigger hole for Sutton and Kendall, but part of her felt maybe it was necessary. She pulled up Thayer's number, composing a new Text message. She attached the photo Sutton had just sent her and tagged: You can't look at this face and tell me you don't care. Then she pressed send and watched the little blue bubble pop up under the photo. She shut off her phone and rolled over again, falling back to sleep.

Thayer blinked at the photo, it was the first photo he'd seen of Sutton since he left Phoenix, except for the one he'd pulled off her Facebook page from a year ago. She was still beautiful, her long brown hair was curled in loose waves, her makeup was still as perfect as ever and her lipgloss smile bared her white teeth. There was nothing flawed about Sutton Mercer. At least not when it came to looks. But it wasn't Sutton that Thayer's attention drew to. It was Kendall. Her skin was creamy white and it caught the flash of the camera. She barely had any hair but what she did have was a light shade of brown. She hadn't developed any of her baby fat yet and her limbs were long and skinny. Everything about her was so tiny, her eyes, her nose, her mouth, her hands. Thayer just stared at the photo, still hard to believe this child was his. His heart ached looking at her, "Thay?" Olivia said poking her head in the door.

He looked up at her, "There you are." He clicked off his phone and stood up, kissing her in the doorway, "I am sorry about last night." He kissed her again.

She looked at him, "It's fine, I just… You sounded hesitant last night. I don't get it."

Thayer shook his head, "I know. I don't get it either. I just have some personal things to deal with."

Olivia's deep blue eyes looked into his browns, "Shouldn't you be able to talk to me about this stuff? I mean you trust me don't you?"

Thayer looked at the ground, "Of course I trust you. It's just that things have happened back home and I need to figure out how I'm gonna deal with it. That's all."

Olivia nodded, " Well, I'm hear to talk if you need it."

Thayer nodded, "Ok. I'm going to take a shower." He kissed her again before slipping down the hall to the bathroom. Olivia sighed and sat on the bed. She wasn't sitting there long when his phone buzzed, A new message from Emma: Look, I know I shouldn't be doing this. But you need to talk to Sutton. Kendall is still your daughter. Olivia nearly dropped the phone when she read that last word. That's his 'problem,' she thought. How was she supposed to bring this up without him knowing she'd been snooping? She scrolled up to the previous message. Thayer hadn't replied between messages which made her feel better, but when she saw the photo she couldn't help clicking on it. Sure enough there was that Sutton girl holding a tiny baby. He's a new father. She thought. She felt hot tears pierce her eyelids. She really did love Thayer and wanted things to work out, but she's seen plenty of Lifetime movies. She knew how this would end. And it wasn't going to end in her favor. She wiped her tears and set his phone down. When Thayer came in the room a towel wrapped around his waist and saw the tears streaking Olivia's cheeks he rushed to her side, "What's wrong?" But his voice only made her cry harder. He wrapped his arms around her and she crashed against his wet skin. The smell of Ax body soap filled her nose, "why are you so upset?" He asked. All she did was hand him his phone. Thayer's heart sank.

Olivia sat up and looked at him, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Thayer took his phone, he didn't even need to look at it to know what she was talking about, "Why did you look through my phone."

Olivia shook her head, "I didn't. You get a text message and all I saw was the preview message. I didn't even read it, all I saw was the word daughter. Thayer how could you not tell me you have a baby?"

Thayer stared at her, even if he was beyond pissed at her for snooping, he couldn't help but feel crushed for hurting her. It wasn't like he didn't care or love Olivia and he was going to eventually tell her about the baby, but ever since Emma had been bugging him about it, the more it ached him to know that one way or another, someone was going to get hurt because of his choices, "I was going to tell you, Liv. I promise. It's just I left that. I am over her."

Olivia looked at him, "How can you say that Thayer? That's your daughter. You might be over the girl, but you can never be over that baby." Part of her was happy that if he hadn't left that behind she never would have found him. But at the same time, what if that was her. Would he do the same thing to her?

Thayer shook his head, "No. But I can't be a father. Not right now. Not with Sutton. Sutton is a long history of bad things. Ok? You don't know our past. I can't and I won't go back to that."

Olivia stood up, "I can't even take this right now. How can I trust you when you would do something as horrible as ditch your ex-girlfriend when she is the mother of your child? That's the biggest asshole move ever." Then she grabbed her purse and took off down the hallway. Thayer sat there, his phone had been warmed by his hands and he looked at it, pulling up the photo of Sutton and Kendall. Thanks Emma. He thought. I don't know how you found this number, but how dare you try to pull this shit on me. He thought. He wanted to text her, rail on her for what she'd done, but at the end of the day, he was to blame for the way things were. He tossed the phone aside and watched it slide across the bed and onto the floor.

**A/N: Soo after all these chapters, no ones been leaving any comments... Sooo, I'm not gonna post the next chapter until I get at least 3 reviews. I love y'alls feedback. So if you wanna find out what happens to Thayer and know what my biggest surprise is yet, leave me a comment. Cause I promise y'all are gonna want to know what's about to happen.**


	27. Once In A Lifetime

"Pass me the gold bow, please?" Laurel asked. She'd been wrapping presents with Sutton all morning. Emma texted her earlier that morning to say she'd be home later that evening. She decided not to fill them in on the fact that she'd be home in the afternoon since she wanted to spend time with Ethan alone. Sutton tossed her sister the bow and finished her first christmas present for Kendall.

"Should I write to Kendall from Santa?" Sutton asked.

Laurel shrugged, "It's not like she knows who Santa is… Or can read."

Sutton smiled, "I know. I just think it's part of the spirit of Christmas."

Laurel narrowed her eyes at her sister, "Since when was Sutton Mercer about the spirit of Christmas?"

Sutton looked at her, "Since I had a baby. I want her to have good Christmases too."

Laurel nodded, "Well at least wait until she understands what Christmas is." Laurel said throwing one of the bows at her sister.

Emma stepped off the plane finally back in Phoenix for a few weeks. She couldn't wait to see Ethan. Her heart fluttered in anticipation. The whole flight she spent texting him, talking about how she couldn't wait to see him. How excited she was to get to spend a real Christmas with her family and how lucky she was to have him in her life.

"I wanna give you your Christmas present tonight." He wrote her.

"Why tonight? Christmas isn't for another week." She replied.

"I know. But I can't wait. I really hope you'll like it."

Emma's heart fluttered, "Anything you get me I will love because it's from you and I love you." She said along with a kissy face.

"I know. But I put a lot of thought into it. I'm excited, I can't wait to give it to you."

Emma smiled but quickly faded, "But I haven't gotten you your gift yet. Let's wait until I get your gift."

"Don't worry. I don't need a gift. I already have you. That's the best gift I could ever get."

Emma blushed, "Oh stop! :) You're making me blush."

"Text me when you land." Was his last reply.

Now as she filed out of the plane she grabbed her phone, "Just landed. Be out soon."

"Can't wait." He replied. Emma's heart pounded in anticipation. She couldn't get off the plane faster. As she walked through the terminal she didn't see him, she panned the crowds of people boarding and unboarding flights. She grabbed her phone and dialed his number, "Hey." His voice was sultry it made Emma weak.

"Hey. Where are you?" She asked readjusting the bag over her shoulder.

"I'm here. I'm coming, just walk towards baggage claim. I'll see you."

Emma smiled as she hung up the phone. The closer she got to baggage claim the more nervous she felt. When she finally saw him she practically dropped her bag in the middle of the airport and took off running towards him. He wrapped her in his arms and lifted her up. She squeezed him around the shoulders, "Oh my god, you're here!" She exclaimed and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"Of course I'm here." he said grabbing the bag she'd dropped.

"I mean, I know you're here. I'm just so happy to see you." She smiled.

He kissed her hard, "I'm happy to see you too."

"So where do you wanna go?" She asked as they headed out of the airport to his Jeep.

"We're actually going to your house."

Emma's face went blank, "What?" She was near tears, "I thought we were gonna spend the evening together."

Ethan looked at her and smiled, "We are Emma. But I thought we could start with a home cooked meal."

"But I lied to Laurel and told her I wouldn't be home until later tonight so we could be together."

Ethan looked at her and stopped walking, he tucked the crook of his finger under her chin and forced her to look at him, "Don't worry about Laurel. Everything is going to be okay. Do you trust me?" Emma nodded, "Then don't worry. I've got it all planned out."

Emma had to admit, anytime she'd fully trusted in Ethan she'd never been let down,"Ok I trust you." She said grabbing his hand again.

Sutton had just finished setting a few gifts under the tree when the front door opened, "Sutton? Mommy? Laurel? I'm home!" Emma called from the front door, "I brought a straggler." She said.

"Hey!" Sutton exclaimed walking into the foyer from the living room, "You're home early."

Emma shrugged, "I am home on time, I just told you I'd be late so I could spend time with Ethan."

Sutton smiled, "Oh. I see."

"Emma! You're home!" Laurel said as she wrapped her sister in a hug.

"Hey Laurel!" She said hugging her little sister. Laurel looked at Ethan who gave her a subtle wink and she winked back.

The last to greet Emma was Kristen who was in the kitchen setting the table for dinner, "Hello baby!" She said hugging her daughter, "You're home!"

"I'm home!" Emma said hugging Kristen back.

"Well come in. Dinner's almost ready." Kristen said heading back to the kitchen. While she waited Ethan took Emma's things to her bedroom and then headed to the living room. Emma, Laurel and Sutton were all sitting on the floor, playing with Kendall.

"She's getting big." Ethan smiled sitting down next to Emma and resting his hand on the small of her back. She looked at him and gave him a smile and then a soft kiss. She definitely missed that boy while she was away at school.

Sutton looked up at him, "I can't believe she's a month old now. I feel like time is flying already." She reached down and grabbed her daughter's toes and kissing the bottom of her foot.

Emma looked at her, "It's gonna go by so quickly and then next thing you know your baby's going to be graduating high school, getting married and having babies of her own."

Sutton shot her sister a look, "Shh… Let's get through learning how to say 'momma' first." Emma smiled.

When Kristen called the family for dinner, everyone took their usual spots at the table. Ethan sat next to Emma. He poked nervously at his food. The family made mindless small talk mostly about Kendall and asking Emma about school. When everyone had finished, Ethan drew in a breath and looked up, "Before everyone gets up. I just have something I want to say." He said.

Emma looked at him as he stood up and turned to her, "Emma." He started, her heart began to pound, please don't break up with me, she thought, "I have loved you from the moment I met you. From that very first dance lesson to every kiss after that. You have been and continue to be the best thing in my life. I don't ever want anyone else because nobody else will ever be good enough. I know that things haven't always gone our way and we've had our rocky times. But you are the only person I never want to live without. I want to spend forever with you, Emma."

When he dropped to his knee, her heart fell to her stomach, "Ethan, what are you doing?" She whispered glancing at the others in the room. Laurel was beaming, Kristen had tears in her eyes and Sutton sat in utter shock.

"This," Ethan said, pulling out a very familiar teal blue box.

Emma just shook her head her hands immediately covered her mouth, "No." It was all she could say, tears poured down her cheeks.

"Emma Jade Becker, I would like nothing more than to ask for your hand in marriage. Baby, will you make me the luckiest man alive and marry me?" His own tears had welled in his eyes as he stared up at the most beautiful girl in the world. He opened the Tiffany's box to expose a small dignities cut diamond ring.

Emma was stunned, she just stared at him, "Ethan" She whispered.

Suddenly fear struck in Ethan he shook his head, "Please Emma?" He pleaded.

Emma looked at him, he was everything she could have ever asked for. For every past boyfriend who'd ever cheated on her and done her wrong she knew it was all worth it the moment she looked Ethan in the eyes. She smiled, "Yes, Ethan Whitehorse. I will marry you."

Kristen about hit the floor as Ethan jumped up, wrapping his arms around Emma. Laurel couldn't stop crying she began clapping loudly and Sutton just sat there stunned. Ethan took the small ring from the box and placed it on her finger. She looked at it. Never had she ever had a piece of jewelry so pretty and meaningful in her life, "So this is what you two had up your sleeves?" Sutton finally said.

Laurel nodded, "I helped him pick out the ring. We planned this whole thing."

"Yes, thank you Laurel." He smiled at her then turned to Emma, "Merry Christmas baby."

Emma looked up at him, "I can't top that." She said shaking her head.

Ethan took her in his arms, "Don't worry. You are the best Christmas present I could ever ask for." He lifted her off her feet and kissed her.

Emma looked at the ring on her finger, "How'd you know my size?"

"We stole one of Sutton's rings." Laurel confirmed.

Sutton shot her a glare, "You stole my ring? Why didn't you guys tell me what you were planning?"

"Cause we knew you'd spoil it. We've been planning this since Fall." Laurel said patting her sisters back.

Sutton shook her head, "I wouldn't have given it away. But thanks for your confidence in me." She said.

Laurel looked at her sister, "I'm sorry Sutton."

Emma looked at Sutton as she slipped her hand into Ethan's, "Don't worry Sutton. You know you're Maid of Honor, right?"

Sutton smiled, "Damn right." Then she gave her sister a hug, "Congrats Emma. I love you."

Emma hugged Sutton back, "I love you too. Thank you."

Sutton looked at Ethan, "So brother-in-law… I gotta get used to that." She said then smiled, "Congratulations, Ethan. She's one of the best."

"She's the best." Ethan smiling at his fiancé.


	28. Blue Blue Christmas

Sutton rolled on her back, The light of her pint sized Christmas tree in the corner glistened in the darkness. Along the wall, a tiny baby breathed softly in her crib. She was fast asleep and Sutton pushed the covers up over her legs. She stood up and walked to her daughters crib, she reached over the railing and touched Kendall's back, feeling the rise and fall of her breaths. She stirred and her face pinched at her mother's touches, but she didn't wake. She looked so small in the mass of the mattress, a tiny pink blanket was bunched at the end of the crib and a small koala bear stuffed doll that Sutton had bought her the first week she was alive sat in the back corner protecting baby Kendall from bad dreams. Sutton wondered what her life would have been like if she'd never gotten pregnant. But when Kendall squirmed and started crying in her sleep, Sutton knew it didn't matter. Her life was laying in that crib and something inside of her told her that this was where she was meant to be. She lifted the baby and made hushing noises, bouncing her on her shoulder, "Shh, Kenzy mama's here." She moved to the rocking chair and laid the baby in her arms preparing to nurse her. She sat in the silence, gliding back and forth in the chair. The only noise was Kendall's eating. Sutton felt her eyelids get heavy when a soft knock on her back door startled her. She quickly turned around to find the one person she thought she'd never see again peering inside. Her heart thudded in her chest. She held up a finger and then pulled the baby from her body. Kendall immediately began to cry and Sutton cradled the little girl.

She unlocked the door and watched as it pushed open, "What are you doing here?" She whispered angrily.

Thayer just stood there, staring at Sutton, then at Kendall, "Is this her?"

Sutton looked at Kendall, she had stopped crying but still kicked her legs in her long footed pajama's, "Your daughter? Yeah. This is her."

Thayer looked at her, "Hi beautiful." He whispered, "Can I hold her?"

Sutton was hesitant at first, "What are you doing here? It's Christmas Eve."

Thayer looked at her, it was the first time he'd seen Sutton in an almost a year. Her brown eyes glimmered in the moon light, "Emma called me. I tried to ignore it Sutton. I didn't think I could be a father, but then she sent me this." He held up his phone, showing her the photo she'd sent to Emma a week ago.

Sutton shook her head, she felt betrayed by her sister, but she managed to get him here, maybe it was a Christmas miracle or the persistent work of a sister who really really loved her but either way she was looking up at Thayer, the last puzzle piece in their family, "So you're here for her?"

"I just needed to see her Sutton." He said looking at his ex, "I know I said I couldn't be a father, I still stand by that statement. But I can't get this babies face out of my mind. She's my daughter." He reached over and touched Kendall's arm, now she'd settled down and closed her eyes.

Sutton looked down at the sleeping baby, she sighed and then moved so that he could hold her. At first he was hesitant and nervous. Timidly holding her like he didn't know what to do, "Sit in the rocking chair." She said. Thayer moved to the rocking chair and rested his elbow on the arm rest and let the chair glide back and forth slowly. Sutton laid on her bed looking at Thayer and Kendall. Something about it was so serene. So sweet. But at the same time, she couldn't get the words that he just couldn't be a father out of her mind. She yawned against the pillow and closed her eyes.

"Sutton!" Emma knocked on her door, "Get up, it's Christmas!" She pushed open the door. Sutton was curled on the bed, her hair was sprawled across her face. In the crib across from her, Kendall still slept soundly. The moon was still out and Emma slipped into Sutton's bed beside her sister, "Sutton?" She tapped her sisters shoulder.

Sutton jolted awake, "Huh?" She said. She looked at Emma, "What the hell? How did you get here?" She sat up, "Where'd Thayer go?"

Emma twisted her face, "Sutton, you're not dreaming anymore."

Sutton shot out of bed, immediately peering over the railing of the crib, Kendall slept soundly her legs bowed out like a little froggy. Sutton turned around, "No he was here last night. He was holding Kendall and I must have fallen asleep. But he was here."

Emma laughed, "Sutton, I know you want Thayer to come back so badly, but that's never gonna happen."

Sutton groaned, confusing herself, had it really been a dream? But she swore she saw him. She shook her head, "Hey, it's Christmas." She said turning to her twin.

Emma nodded, "Yes. My first real Christmas with my family." Emma used to dread the Holiday season. When she'd dream of what it'd be like to have a family, to sip hot chocolates, sing carols and open presents. But she was lucky if she got one present at Christmas.

Sutton grabbed her sisters hand, "Let's get mom and Laurel." She said smiling. She looked back at Kendall who still slept soundly. The girls crept down the dark hallway and pushed Laurel's door open, "Get up lazy butt!" She shouted bouncing on Laurel's bed.

Laurel stirred and opened her eyes, "What time is it?" She asked picking her iPhone up off the side table and clicked it on, "It's 6:30…"

"It's Christmas." Emma said sitting on her knees at the end of Laurel's bed, "Christmas with my family." She looked up at her twin sister and gave her smile. Even though things between them hadn't always been great and even enemies at one time, she was glad they were able to see past the drama and the differences enough to build the friendship that Emma so badly wanted from the first day she stepped off the bus in phoenix. She was thankful that she'd finally found what she'd wanted since she was a little girl.

Laurel sat up, "Did you wake up mom?"

Emma shook her head, "No, come on." Laurel slipped her moccasin UGG slippers and wrapped a plush hot pink robe around her body. The girls crept out to the living room, investigating the gifts under the tree. It was a tradition Sutton and Laurel had been doing every year since they were little and Ted would sleep on the couch in order to make sure the girls went back to their beds until morning. Now Sutton squeezed her twins sisters hand and knew that no amount of materialistic gifts could come close to the gift she already got. Her best friend and twin sister, Emma. Emma gave her sister's hand a squeeze back and she looked at her.

They pushed open the double doors of Kristen's master suite and crept onto the tall king size bed, "Good morning mommy!" Sutton said.

Kristen drew in a deep breath and stretched, "Good morning my lovely girls." She smiled, "Merry Christmas." She said.

"Merry Christmas," The girls responded in unison. The girls sat on their mother's bed as she went to the living room to plug in the lights on the tree and start a cup of coffee. When everything was ready she called out for the girls. The girls wandered out and grabbed their stockings that were overflowing with goodies. Inside Emma's she found a brand new Urban Decay Naked Pallet, A black Benefit bad gal eyeliner pencil, some candy, a $50 gift card to Sephora and MAC. A gift card to Brandy Melville, Free People and Anthropology. This was far more than anything than Emma had ever had back in the foster system. She smiled and thanked Kristen. Laurel's and Sutton's stockings looked very similar and by the time they'd finished looking at their stocking's Kendall began crying. Sutton got up and went to retrieve the infant. When she emerged a few minutes later, she'd changed Kendall into her baby santa clause dress she found at Zulily with Amanda. She laid her daughter on a blanket that Emma had laid out for her and Kendall was content, grabbing her toes and looking intensively at the lights on the Christmas tree.

The first gift's were the traditional new pair of pajama's that Kristen had been giving Laurel and Sutton since they were babies. This year she was thrilled to include Emma in that tradition as well. When the gift's had all been opened, Kristen stood up and began to make breakfast, traditional cinnamon rolls and bagels, and start the Christmas feast.

It was late morning and Emma and Sutton were sitting on the couch, Kendall laid between them, when the doorbell rang. Sutton stood up and walked to the door, "Alec?" She said. Usually the Rybak's didn't come over Christmas day, instead waiting a week to celebrate New Year's with the Mercers.

Alec looked at Sutton, "I'm so sorry." He said as he handed her an envelop. Then he wished her a Merry Christmas and turned around. Sutton closed the door and looked at the envelop. It was blank only her name in cursive adorned the front.

"Who was that?" Kristen asked when Sutton walked into the kitchen. She slipped into one of the bar stools at the Island.

"It was Alec." She said.

Kristen looked at what her daughter was holding, "What is that?"

Sutton shrugged, "I don't know. All he said was I'm sorry and then handed me this and left."

Kristen took it from her daughter and opened the flap, her eyes grazed over the words on the contents of the page. Her hand immediately covered her mouth and she shook her head, "No." She said, "No, no, no. He can't do this!" She said flinging the folded letter across the Island. She leaned against the counter.

Sutton reached for the paper, looking at the words on the page, "What does this mean?" She asked.

Tears filled Kristen's eyes as she looked at her baby girl, "Thayer's filing for full custody of Kendall."

Sutton shook her head, her own tears filled her eyes, "No. He can't do that! Can he?"

Kristen took a step towards her daughter, "No, we aren't going to let him."

Sutton looked out to the living room, Emma was now holding the infant against her chest and bounced a steady rhythm, "He can't take her away from me. She's my daughter."

"She is his daughter too, even if he hasn't always been there. But that may be held against him." She said taking Sutton's hand.

Sutton looked down at the connection, "But that was only a month." She couldn't believe what was happening. So much for a Merry Christmas. Sutton stood up and stormed out of the kitchen, taking her daughter from Emma and storming back to her room.

**A/N: I smell mama/papa drama on the horizon. Strap your seat belts ladies and gentlemen, you're in for a bumpy ride.**


	29. The Days Ahead

Sutton wiped the tears from her eyes when Emma entered the room, "Hey." She said softly walking into the room. Sutton sat cross legged on her perfectly made bed. Kendall laid on the bed in front of her, she was rubbing her daughters leg. Emma sat on the bed across from her sister, she reached out for Kendall's hand as the little baby wrapped her fingers around her aunts finger, "What's going on?"

Sutton felt the tears fall faster down her cheeks. She looked at Emma, "Thayer wants full custody of Kendall."

"What?!" Emma looked at her sister, shocked, "What do you mean he wants full custody. He left you and Kendall. He can't just come waltzing in here and demand his daughter."

Sutton looked at her, "Why can't he just stay gone? Everything was so much better when he left."

Emma reached over the baby and took her sisters hand, "No matter what happens, we are going to go down fighting. I'm not letting that asshole come in here and just take Kendall that easily."

Sutton squeezed her sisters hand, "Thanks Emma. But this is my fight. My mistake."

Emma stared at Sutton, "I know. But you're my sister and Kendall's my niece and there is nothing I won't do for you two."

Sutton's overwhelming emotions hit her hard at those words, after all the shit she'd put Emma through why would she even care about what Thayer was doing to her, "Why do you care so much?"

Emma looked at Sutton, here she was sitting across from her twin sister, her best friend, "Because you're my sister, Sutton." She moved to sit next to her twin and wrapped her arms around Sutton, "You're my family and my best friend and seeing you like this kills me."

Sutton fell into her sister's embrace, her tears stained her tank top, "I know but I haven't been a good sister to you. Why are you not happy to see everything go wrong?"

Emma nodded, yes it was true that there was a time when Sutton couldn't have stood to be in the same room as her twin sister, She rubbed her sisters arm, "I'm not like that, Sutton. Regardless of everything you've put me through, you are still my sister and I'm not going to let some asshole guy come and ruin her life."

Sutton looked up at her, "I'm really sorry." She said shaking her head.

Emma looked at her and twisted her face, "For what?"

Sutton looked down, "For everything I did. For everything with Ethan and the way I treated you. I got all screwed up, I should have put you before him."

Emma looked down at the glistening ring on her finger, it still made her heart melt a little when she looked at it, part of it was still so unreal, seeing it almost took her a back. Maybe she'd won the guy, but right now it didn't matter even if things had won in her favor, what she had in Sutton was way better than anything a guy could have given her, "None of that matters, Sutton. You're a part of me and my life and seeing you happy is just as important as my own happiness. There is nothing that I won't do for you Sutton. There is nothing I wouldn't do for Kendall and if it meant taking Thayer down, you know I will do it."

Sutton pressed the heels of her palms to her eyes and sighed heavily, "How did I let things get so crazy?"

Emma squeezed Sutton, "I don't know. But he isn't going to win this." Part of Emma knew that all of this was her fault. She was the one who contacted Thayer. She was the one who sent him the photo of his daughter. If she'd never called him in the first place none of this would happened and Sutton wouldn't be sitting here completely upset about what will happen when Thayer tries to take Kendall away from her. She knew she should tell Sutton all of this, but she knew that if she did Sutton would only blow up in her face. Maybe it's better to keep this to myself and spare the peace with Sutton. She thought. She placed a kiss on her sister's head, "I love you Sutton. I need you to know that, ok?"

Sutton looked up at her sister, "I love you too, Emma. Thank you for being there for me. I really don't deserve it." Emma gave her a weak smile. Just as Emma had finished wiping her sister's tears from her eyes, Kendall started to stir, her face pinched and Sutton looked at the baby, "Oh sweetheart," She wiped a tear with a smile, she pulled the baby up from the bed as Kendall started to cry. Sutton began to bounce the child, "I know, sweetheart. You're hungry." She stood up and moved to the rocking chair preparing the baby to nurse.

Emma stood, "I will let you eat in peace, Kenz." She said patting the babies back. She smiled at her sister and turned to see what Laurel was up to.


	30. What Hurts The Most

"Emma!" Sutton yelled from the living room. Emma stood in her room, looking at her dark blue high-low chiffon dress in her full length mirror. She grabbed her gold braided belt and wrapped it around the dress where the dress bunched around her middle section. She turned her head at the sound of her name.

"Hold on!" She shouted back. She took one last look at her outfit and slipped on her gold braided Steve Madden sandals. Her soft curls bounced against her back as she rushed down the hall. Sutton stood in the living room her hands on her hips giving her a look, Emma put up her hands, "I'm sorry." She grabbed her keys and the twins rushed out the door. It was New Years Eve and the Mercer's were headed to the Chelsea Creek Annual New Years bash and fireworks display. Sutton grabbed her daughters carrier as they headed out the door. She had the baby in a silver dress and dark blue cardigan. Kendall was asleep and Sutton clicked the carrier into the carseat making sure it was locked securely. She closed the car door and hopped into the driver's seat. Emma slid into the passengers seat and pulled down the visor, putting the finishing touches on her makeup. Emma looked at her sister, "So do you guys go to this party every year?"

"Not every year." Sutton said pulling out of the long driveway, "Last year we went skiing in Colorado and came home New Years Day, so we missed it."

Emma nodded, "Is it fun?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's a typical club party. Dancing, food, the fireworks are always fun. But really it's just a reason for the adults to get drunk." Sutton said pulling onto the main road.

Emma looked back. Kendall's car seat was facing backwards but Sutton had hung a mirror on the seat across from her and Emma looked at the babies reflection. She slept so soundly, her little body swaying with the movement of the car as Sutton drove. When she slammed on her break when someone cut her off, the sudden movement made Kendall wake up and immediately start crying. Sutton drew in a breath, "Damn it!" She said slamming a hand onto the steering wheel.

Emma looked at her sister, "What's wrong with you?" She asked. It seemed like lately Sutton was slowly falling back into her old self. It seemed like every time Kendall cried or needed attention it was like it was inconveniencing Sutton.

"Nothing. But this asshole cut me off and woke up Kendall." She said angrily.

"It's fine, Sutton. Kendall will calm down, but it seems like lately you've been on edge about everything." Emma said looking straight ahead, she tried desperately not to rock Sutton's boat, but she was taking everything out on poor Kendall and it was beginning to piss Emma off.

"I'm not on edge. I'm just tired of everything. I'm tired of her crying all the time and I'm tired of people acting like fucking idiots." She said merging into the left lane, knowing the Country Club wasn't too far away. When the car behind her laid on their horn Sutton threw up her hands, "I'm fucking done! I don't even want to be here!" She said, stopping as a yellow light turned to red.

Emma laid a hand on her sisters arm, "What's going on, Sutton? There's more than just traffic, you've been like this for a week."

Sutton picked at the skin on her thumb, "Nothing." she said softly.

"It's Thayer, isn't it?" Emma asked tucking a strand of her sisters hair behind her ear.

Sutton nodded, "I don't want him to take Kenz away from me." then she looked up at her sister, tears in her eyes, "What am I going to do?"

Emma shook her head, "I don't know Sutton, but Thayer's not going to win this fight. Kendall is your daughter and you have every right to be in her life."

Sutton looked at Emma, "What if the court thinks I'm not fit to be a mother."

Emma pinched her face in disbelief, "As if Thayer's any better. That boy can't even get his own ass dressed, what makes you think he'll be able to dress a baby?"

Sutton laughed, even though her sister's comments were funny, Sutton needed Emma to focus, "No but seriously. Alec is the DA. You know he can make anything happen and if Thayer wants this baby bad enough, Alec's going to make sure that happens."

"Yeah, but Alec doesn't approve of this whole 17 and pregnant ordeal. Why would he fight _for_ his son to be a father?" Emma said logistically as Sutton pulled out at the green light.

She had a point. It wasn't like Alec was jumping out of his skin to accept Kendall as his granddaughter, he may not even want anything to do with this custody battle, "True. But if he is helping Thayer, I'm screwed. He will find a way to prove that I can't be a mother to Kendall." She turned her blinker on as she drifted into the turn lane. She watched the cars drive past waiting for her chance to turn into the club.

"I don't think Alec is going to be pushing for his son to take on a baby by himself. If anything he'll go for joint custody." Emma said remembering learning about these things in her political science class.

Sutton shook her head, "I don't even want that." She watched as the last car past and she cut across the lanes, pulling into the Clubs parking lot. She pulled up to the valet parking and handed Ethan her car keys. Emma got out of the car and kissed her future husband before she made her way to the other side of the car where Sutton was unbuckling Kendall from her car seat. She grabbed her diaper bag and turned to head inside.

"But joint custody is better than losing her forever." Emma said matter-of-factly.

Sutton stopped abruptly and turned to her sister,"Just Stop!" She snapped. Emma looked at her and put her palms up.

"Look, I'm just saying that you're looking at this in a selfish way. Thayer's her father. You seem to forget about that." Emma said

Sutton shook her head, "What part of 'stop' do you now understand?"

"I'm just saying-" Emma started

Sutton cut her off, "I. Don't. Want. To. Talk about it. So please can you just drop it?"

Emma sighed, "Alright, fine."

Sutton pulled the silver dress over Kendall's tiny body that hand bunched up from the way Sutton was holding her and headed back towards the ballroom where the party was being held. Several older couples were milling around in fancy evening gowns and tuxedo's like it was the Academy Awards. Emma felt slightly underdressed even though Sutton was dressed pretty much the same way. Sutton looked over at sister, "I'm sorry, Em. It's just talking about it makes me angry, I don't even want to think about Thayer never mind having to see his face on Monday morning. Let's just enjoy the party, ok?"

Emma nodded, "Ok." She said, "Can I take Kendall for a little while."

Sutton looked at the child who was resting on her shoulder. Kendall had her tiny fingers in her mouth making soft sucking noises, she stared out into space, not really captivated by anything. She blinked a few times and Sutton lifted her off her shoulder she looked at her mom as if to say, "What are you doing? I was comfortable."

Emma reached out and took the tiny baby, cradling her in her arms, "Thank you Sutton." She said.

Sutton smiled, "It gives my arm a rest." She said pulling Kendall's dress down. She shook out the cramp that had developed in her arm and headed to a table where Mads sat looking miserable, "Hey." She said sitting down.

When Sutton sat down, Mads face lit up, "Oh thank GOD you're here. I swear we are like the youngest ones here."

Emma was standing alone at the edge of the dance floor, the music pounded and people had been dancing in groups around the floor, Kendall stared out into the crowd and Emma watched as people pounded the air like they were on an episode of Jersey Shore. Brightly colored lights panned the crowd. When someone tapped her on the shoulder, she jumped a little and turned around. Ethan smiled at her, "I didn't mean to scare you." He said leaning down to kiss her.

Emma laughed, "It's okay. Just don't make me drop the baby." She said gesturing to the tiny child in her arms.

Ethan looked at her and then smiled, "Oh sorry. I didn't know you had her." Then he leaned down and Kendall stared at him, "Hi sweet pea. Don't you look beautiful. Don't spit up on Auntie Emma okay? She looks beautiful too." Then he looked up at her and smiled. There was always something so suave about Ethan. Sometimes she couldn't believe that a girl out of the foster system could date someone so incredible as Ethan Whitehorse. She knew he could certainly have any girl he wanted and yet he chose her. She looked again at the ring on her finger and she smiled. Ethan stood up, "So when you have a free arm or two, I think we should show these people how to really dance." He said winking at her.

Emma looked at him, "You are so crazy."

Across the room, Rebecca sat at a tall bar table, a black table cloth draping over the sides. The table was covered in silver, blue and gold confetti, a flower vase held 2014 glasses and tiny tea light's flickered in the wind. Two other women that Rebecca had seen around the club were talking with each other, "Yeah, Ethan Whitehorse." One woman said. When Rebecca heard the name, she perked her ears.

"He proposed to who?" The other woman said taking an M&M from the tiny crystal bowl on the table and popping it in her mouth. Ethan proposed to someone?

"Sutton Mercer's sister. Emma, I think is her name." Rebecca's heart fell to her stomach.

"I'm sorry for eavesdropping ladies, but did you say that Ethan Whitehorse proposed to Emma?" She asked leaning over the table.

The first lady looked over at her, "Yeah, the week before Christmas."

"Did she say yes?" Rebecca asked, feeling her throat close.

"I guess so, I saw her around here holding a baby, she had a sweet ring on her left hand." the woman said looking at her own wedding ring.

Rebecca's breathing had increased, "Oh." She said simply, "I'm sorry, I need to go." She said in a quick hurry. The women looked at each other and shrugged but continued their gossip.

Rebecca panned through the crowd of people dancing on the dance floor, Emma was nowhere to be seen, when she spotted Sutton at the table talking to Mads, she stormed over to her, "Sutton!" She said sternly. Sutton turned in her seat and looked up at her birth mother, "Where the hell is Emma?"

Sutton shrugged, "I don't know. She took Kendall for a while. Maybe she's outside. Why are you so angry."

Rebecca looked at her daughter, "Don't worry about it." She said storming across the ballroom to the french doors that led to the patio area, she scanned the faces of the teenagers that were crowded around the pool. Still she was unable to find Emma and she turned and headed back in but ran smack into Ethan on her way, "You." she said coldly.

Ethan looked at her wide-eyed, "Me." He confirmed.

"How dare you."

Ethan looked at her unsure of what she was talking about and why she was fuming, "I didn't do anything."

Shock washed over Rebecca's face, "You didn't _do anything? _Did you ask my daughter to marry you?"

Ethan sucked in a breath, "Yes. I did ask Emma to marry me."

Rebecca must have turned three shades whiter, "She said yes?"

Ethan nodded, "Yes. I'm sorry we didn't say anything. It's just I wanted it to be a surprise. I didn't want her to know anything."

"You can't just _ask _Emma to marry you. You need my permission first."

Ethan looked at her angrily, "Emma is 18 years old and if I'm not mistaken that means she can make her own grown up decisions."

Rebecca wanted to strangle the little punk, "Listen, Ethan." She spoke his name so coldly chills ran down his back, "If you so much as hurt one hair on that child's head, I will kill with my bare hands, do you understand me?"

Ethan smiled at her, "I'm not going to hurt your daughter, Rebecca. I love Emma and I will treat her like the princess she is. At least, I won't leave abandon her somewhere and never come back for her. I'm not that horrible." he said poking at Rebecca's last resort attempt of getting rid of Emma when she was 3.

Rebecca breathed heavily and shook her head, "How dare _you!" _She balled her fists and then tried to push away her anger and desire to punch Ethan right there in the middle of the Chelsea Creek Country Club, "Where is my wonderful daughter?" She asked flashing him a fake smile.

Ethan shrugged, "I haven't seen her. But when I do I'll tell her to run." Then he smiled at her, "Excuse me. I need to get back to work." He said patting Rebecca's shoulder and walking up an older gentleman who was sipping a scotch.

"Do you want her back now?" Emma said sitting at the table next to Sutton. She looked up at Mads who had somehow snuck some Vodka into her grape soda.

Sutton looked up at her sister, Kendall had sacked out in her aunt's arms awhile ago, "If you don't wanna hold her anymore, I will. A few people have been asking to see her, but she's asleep right now. I don't really want to wake her."

Emma looked at her niece, she'd fallen asleep about 10 minutes into the party, "I don't mind holding her, I just figured you'd want her back eventually. And I know, people have been confusing me for you telling me how beautiful my daughter was. I didn't have the heart to them I wasn't you." She smiled.

Sutton laughed, "Most of them have known me my whole life, they probably can't believe I'm a mom now. Hey, Rebecca came around about five minutes ago looking for you."

"Rebecca's here?" Emma said suddenly panicking.

"Yeah, she seemed pissed. What did you do?" Sutton said sipping from a diet coke can.

Emma's eyes glazed over and she shook her head, "It's what I didn't do."

"What was that?" then Sutton caught the glimmer of her sister's engagement ring, "Emma you _did _tell mom about the engagement right?" Emma just shook her head, "Emma!"

"I just… I got so caught up with the Thayer shit and you and Kendall, I just didn't even think about it." Emma looked around the room, but Rebecca was nowhere to be seen.

"Emma you better go tell her before she finds out from someone else. Don't you know ho quickly word gets around in these country clubs?" Emma shook her head, "It's like a fucking small town, everybody know's everybody and everybody know each other business regardless of if you want them to know or not. Half these people knew I was pregnant before I did."

Emma looked at Sutton, "Really?"

Sutton tilted her head and stared at Emma, "No, that's exaggeration, but most of them knew about it practically at the same time I found out about it."

Emma's heart started to race, when the DJ came over the microphone, "We are 30 minutes from a brand new year! Who's ready for twenty-fourteen?!" His voice was loud and Kendall stirred in Emma's arms but didn't wake up. The crowd screamed and cheered. Another song came over the speakers.

Emma looked at Sutton, "What am I supposed to do?"

"You need to tell her Emma."

Emma looked around the room again, still no Rebecca, "Now? She's going to kill me."

"No shit. But you need to do it before someone else does." Sutton said. She reached out for Kendall who didn't even wake from her slumber as she cuddled up next to Sutton's warm body.

Emma stood up, "Fine. I'll go tell her, but if you don't see before the end of the night, I'm dead and Rebecca has the body." She turned and headed out to the crowd that was gathered by the pool. Kristen had snagged a prime table and flagged Emma down, "Hey mom." Emma said walking up to the table.

"Where's your sister? I got us a good spot to watch the fireworks."

"She's inside with Mads, they'll be out soon. Have you seen Rebecca anywhere?" Emma asked searching the crowd again.

Kristen shook her head, "Not for a while. But if I see her, I'll tell her you're looking for her."

Emma thanked her mom and took off into the crowd again, but she wasn't able to find her when a loud boom from behind her made her jump, she turned around to see bright light's flash in the sky. The firework's were starting and Sutton was waving Emma down from the table where Kristen and Mads were sitting. Emma gave up on the search for her birth mother and joined her sister at the table.

When the fireworks ended and they'd rung in the new year, the family was about to head home when a voice over the milling crowd froze Emma in her place, "EMMA JADE BECKER!" She turned slowly to see Rebecca standing by the doors. A few people had stopped and stared at Emma when Rebecca called her name. Rebecca started through the crowd towards her daughter. Fight or flight, Emma thought. Fight or flight? FLIGHT! She thought as she took off running, however it was a short run as Rebecca reached out and grabbed her daughter's arm. Emma swallowed hard and turned to her, "Hi, mom." She said sweetly.

Rebecca shook her head, "Don't you even dare." She said. When she saw the ring on her daughter's hand she swallowed hard, it was true. Emma was engaged to that punk Ethan.

"Mom, look I'm sorry. I should have told you." She said shaking her head, "Just please don't be mad."

"Mad?" Rebecca shook her head, "I'm past mad. I'm livid, Emma. You're eighteen years old. You're not ready to get married."

"Mom the wedding won't be for a while." Emma said.

"I don't care, Emma. You're too young to get married. You need to tell Ethan the wedding is off."

Emma looked shocked, "What? No, I'm not calling off my engagement because _you _think I'm too young to get married. I love Ethan and I want to marry him."

Rebecca couldn't believe what she was hearing. But what she did next sent gasps through the now larger group of spectators. She raised her hand and slapped it across her daughter's face. Emma gasped and stumbled backwards, "How dare you raise your voice to me. I'm your mother."

"Alright, that's enough Rebecca!" Kristen said stepping between Emma and Rebecca, "I think it's time you leave."

"It's ok, mom. I can handle myself," Then she looked at her birth mother, "You may have brought me into this life, Rebecca. But that's _all _you are. A life-giver. You were never my mom and you never will be. I'm done with you. Don't you dare even try to speak to me again." she spat and with that she turned and grabbed her purse, "Let's go." She demanded as she pushed past Rebecca with Kristen, Mads and Sutton in tow. The entire crowd was silent as Emma took the walk of shame out of Chelsea Creek and out to her car. It wasn't until she was standing next to Ethan that she let her emotions flood through her.

"Fuck her." Ethan said angrily. Emma pressed a fist to her forehead, hot tears pouring down her eyes. Ethan pulled her into his arms, "Shh, come here, baby." he said wrapping his arms around her, "It's okay, Em." she crashed into his weight and he pressed a kiss to her head, "I love you baby and that's all that matters, ok?"

She nodded against his chest. When Sutton's car pulled up, Emma pulled away and looked at him, "I love you too." She said. He leaned down and kissed her, brushing stray tears from her cheeks, "Don't let her get you down. When you get upset, look at that ring and remember that you will always be the light in my life ok?"

Emma smiled, he sure had a way of making her feel like a princess and she often felt like she didn't deserve him. But all she did was nod, "Ok." she said looking at her ring. Then she kissed him before she turned and climbed into the car.


	31. Wanted You More

Sutton drew in a breath, she fixed the collar on her navy blue peplum top. She reached for her black blazer and headed out of the bathroom down the hallway to the courtroom. It was Monday morning and her custody hearing was in 10 minutes. She swallowed hard knowing that she was about to face someone she hadn't seen since she got pregnant. When the door to the courtroom opened, she took in a deep breath and shook the nerves from her hands. Inside, he was sitting there. Staring at her. A smile on his face. She tried not to look at him. How could he sit there, with that smug look on his face? She wondered. She knew he was only doing this to get at her. Sutton thought about her daughter, he'd never even seen his daughter and now he wants her for himself? There was no way she was letting that happen. Inside, Sutton saw Emma and Laurel sitting there, waiting to see how this trial would go, "All rise for the Judge" The bailiff said. Everyone in the courtroom rose as the judge entered the room and took his place at the stand.

The first person to testify would be Sutton. She swallowed nervously as she walked to the stand, she sat down and looked out into the crowd, Emma gave her sister a warm smile and Sutton smiled weakly back, "Sutton," Her lawyer said, "Can you tell the judge why you believe that Thayer Rybak should not be awarded full custody of Kendall Alexandra Mercer?"

Sutton's heart skipped a beat at the sound of her daughter's name. She hated fighting over her daughter like she was prize to be won. She sighed, "Thayer left me and Kendall before she was ever born. I have been raising her by myself since the day she was born."

"And when was she born?"

"November 12, 2013." Sutton said, her heart pounded but she tried to remain calm.

"So she's only been alive for a month and a half."

Sutton looked down, "Yes."

"So he's only been non-existent in his daughter's life for a little less than 2 months, is that correct?"

"Yes. But he left long before he even knew he had a daughter." She pointed out. She looked over at Thayer who was staring at a notepad on the table. He didn't even make the effort to look at her. She wanted to smack him.

The lawyer thanked Sutton and told her she could step off the stand, the next person he called to the stand was Thayer. As he rose and walked to the stand, he placed a hand on Sutton's shoulder. She felt dirty when he touched her and she gave him a dirty look, "Thayer." The lawyer said when he sat at the stand, "Can you please tell the jury why you believe you deserve custody of Kendall Alexandra Mercer."

Thayer looked at Sutton, "She's my daughter. Who doesn't want to be in their child's life? The moment I saw Kendall in a photo her sister sent me, I fell in love with her. I know I haven't been there since the beginning but I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for my daughter. Kendall is the only reason I'm back in Phoenix."

Sutton shook her head, but looked at her sister, a fiery rage blew through her, she sent him a photo of his daughter? She thought. What the hell was she thinking? Emma didn't even look at her, she just stared at her lap, she knew this was coming and it was bye bye sweet, nice Sutton and hello, demon from hell Sutton.

When the court took a recess to deliberate their fate, Sutton walked over to Emma, "You sent him a photo?" She asked angrily. Emma stared out the window of the courthouse trying not to cry, "You're why all of this is happening? You contacted him and now he wants to take my daughter away from me. You do know what you've done, Emma?" When Emma didn't answer, Sutton kept going, "I swear if he wins I will never, ever forgive you, do you understand me? You ruined my life Emma. You ruined my life and now you've ruined Kendall's. I thought you loved us. I thought you loved her."

Emma looked at Sutton, tears streaming down her cheeks, "I do love you, Sutton. I did it because I loved you." Her bottom lip quivered, "I was just trying to help." Her voice was a mere whisper.

"Well news flash, Emma. I don't need you or your help." Sutton spat, she slammed her hand against the window and made Emma jump. She watched as Sutton turned and walked away.

"What was that about?" Laurel asked stepping in where Sutton once stood.

Emma shook her head, "It's my fault." She said through her tears.

Laurel looked at Sutton and then back at Emma, "What's your fault?"

"This." Emma said looking up, "We're here because of me. I sent Thayer that photo. I told him he needed to come home and be with his daughter. But I didn't think he was going to take her away. I was just trying to help."

Laurel wrapped her arms around her half sister, "Shh, don't worry. Thayer's testimony won't handle a candle. Not enough to take Kendall away from Sutton."

Emma looked at Laurel, "No but she doesn't want him to have any sort of custody."

"Well she needs to realize that that's not going to happen. Thayer is still Kendall's father whether he left them or not. He's back now and he wants to be in his daughter's life and he has every right to that. Sutton needs to realize that."

Emma pushed back tears, "I know. But he wouldn't have come back if it wasn't for me."

"You don't know that. He may not have come back now. But who knows if he'd come back years from now. Either way, Sutton needs to get over her selfish self and realize that Thayer has every right to his daughter as she does. Don't let her get you down. She might be mad for a while, but she'll get over it."

Emma sniffled, "Thanks Laurel."

Laurel gave her sister another hug, "You're welcome, Emma."

Back in the courtroom, Sutton's heart pounded. She watched as each of the seven jurors walked back into the room. The folded paper with her fate was in the hands of the last juror to enter the room. It seemed like slow motion as the paper unfolded, The juror began to read aloud, "Joint Custody." Sutton's heart sank. She wanted to be sick. She wasn't about to let Thayer come back after almost a year and swoop in and act like nothing ever happened. She sat there, shaking her head. Watching as Thayer hugged his legal team, a congratulations on his end. He'd won. Sutton shot a look at Emma as if to say "Thanks you bitch. You did this to me." Emma lowered her eyes, but it still felt like a thousand knives piercing through her. SHe hated herself for what she had done. But she remembered Laurel's words, "She'll get over it." I hope you're right. Emma thought as she stood up and headed out of the courtroom, hoping that God would be so kind as to grant her enough strength to endure whatever shit Sutton was about throw down upon her.


	32. He Ain't The Leavin' Kind

Sutton stormed down the hallways after her sister, "Emma!" She shouted. Emma's heart pounded and she swallowed hard, but turned and watched her sister get closer to her.

"Not now, Sutton.: She pleaded, "I know how bad this looks. But please know that I did this to help you."

Sutton was fuming. Busy lawyers, sequestered jurors and cops milled around the long corridor on that 25th floor of the courtroom, "You meddled in something I told you over and over again to stay out of. I don't give a fuck if you were trying to help. News Flash, you didn't. You fucked this up way more than it was to begin with,"

Emma balled up her fists, she breathed heavily, "You know what? You're right, Sutton. There are you happy? You're right. I shouldn't have meddled in your mess. But you know what? You didn't have to get pregnant in the first place. All you care about is yourself. You neglect to think about what's best for that baby. You yell at her when she cries, you act like her life is some kind of inconvenience to you and you take your anger out on the world on your daughter. Maybe if you'd been a little more careful, you wouldn't be in this mess. But it doesn't matter, because she's a part of your life. Hell, Sutton, she's a part of all of our lives. This isn't just a matter that concerns only you and Thayer. This is a matter that concerns all of us. But you storm around here like you're on the losing end when in fact, having Thayer around might not be such a good idea. So get the hell off your high horse and stop thinking about yourself and I'm sorry if you don't know how to put others before yourself, but maybe it's about damn time you learned." Then she turned on her heel and headed back down the corridor to the elevator. She sighed heavily, still reeling from her blow up in Sutton's face.

Sutton stood there, her sister's words cycling through her head. Maybe Emma was right on some things but this was about her life. Her life and Kendall's life. She wanted to scream, but she just groaned and then headed back to the courtroom. Inside, Thayer caught her enter and he walked up to her, "Hi Sutton." He said with a smile on his face.

She narrowed her eyes at him, "Are you kidding me right now?" She huffed.

"Look, I'm sorry if you are angry about the way things went today, but I want to know my daughter too."

Sutton rolled her eyes, "How dare you come around here after _you _up and ditched me when I needed you the most."

Thayer put his hand on hers and she recoiled. Thayer looked at the gesture, "Look, I know that you're mad and I'm sorry. I freaked out, but I'm back now. I can do this. I know I can. I want to do this."

Sutton sighed, "How am I supposed to believe that? Kendall is everything to me."

"I know. And I'm not going to take off again." Thayer looked at her, his brown eyes met hers and he smiled. Something inside her made her heart swell. Same old Thayer. If there was anything that Sutton couldn't say no to it was Thayer and his half smiles, "I love Kendall. I want to be there for her."

Sutton sighed, "Fine. But the first time you take off, will be the last time you ever see that child, got it?"

Thayer smiled, "I'm not going to take off again." He said. He wanted to hug her but thought maybe it wasn't a good idea and instead touched her shoulder, "Thank you, Sutton."

Emma sighed, She had been sitting outside the courthouse when a familiar jeep pulled up, "Hey!" The voice inside called to her, "You look like you could use a lift." Emma perked up when she saw Ethan leaned over the passengers seat, She stood up and walked up to his jeep and opened the door. She kissed him when she was in the car and he began to pull out, "I take it things didn't go well?"

Emma shook her head, "Let's just say I may have unleashed the old Sutton again." Ethan groaned, "I didn't mean to. She found out that I got in contact with Thayer and now she's pissed that he wanted custody."

"He has a right to his child." Ethan said shaking his head, "But I didn't come here to talk about Thayer and your sister. I thought we could go on a little adventure." he said with a devious smile. Emma twisted her face in confusion but Ethan just faced forward, pulling the Jeep into the downtown traffic.


	33. Change Your Mind

Sutton sighed, this was the fourth diaper in an hour she'd put on Kendall and it seemed like every time she put one on it was time to change it again, "Listen kiddo. You really need to learn how to hold it in. These diapers aren't cheap you know." But what did Sutton know, she wasn't the one paying for them. But it sure was annoying to have to change them all the time. "I wonder if you can potty train a child at two months." She said pulling down her daughter's onside and snapping the buttons at the bottom. She pulled her light pink leggings up and held the baby to her chest. It was Kendall's two month "birthday" And Sutton couldn't believe how fast time had gone by. Kendall's baby fat was finally starting to come in and it seemed like everyone had been pinching and poking lately. A knock at the window made Sutton turn around. Thayer smiled and she walked over and opened the door. The brisk winter air wafted into her room, "Hey." Thayer said closing the door.

"Hi." It had been two weeks since the trial and it was the first time Thayer had come around to see his daughter. Sutton laid the baby on her bed. and sat Thayer sat beside her. It was the first time he'd really looked at her. Her blue eyes blinked up at him.

"She's beautiful." He said still amazed that he'd made this little girl.

Sutton smiled at her, "She's perfect. She's been perfect since she was born." She looked up at Thayer, "Why did you come back?"

Thayer looked at her, "Because." He sighed and looked at Kendall, her tiny hand wrapped around his finger, "Because I never wanted to leave my daughter. I was scared. I didn't know what to do, Sutton."

Sutton looked down, "Don't you think I was scared?" Her lip quivered knowing that tears were threatening to fall, "I didn't get a choice. I didn't get to run away. I had to face this head on and you just took off like it was nothing, Thayer. Don't you understand why I am opposed to all of this?"

Thayer looked down, shame in his eyes, "I know, Sutton and that wasn't fair to you. I should have been there for you. But being there, that day at the doctor's, hearing her heartbeating, seeing her on that monitor. It was too real. I didn't know how to handle it. But I look at her now, so small and precious. She's our daughter Sutton. Emma made me see that I need to be there for you and Kendall. I know you're mad at me, Sutton. But I want this. I'm ready for this."

Sutton looked at him. She had to admit that she missed him. The way he'd look at her, cock his head just slightly to the left and smile. She bit her lip, her heartbeat faster as she leaned into him, their lips barely touched and tingles shivered down her spine, "Thayer, I…" she whispered, but his lips covered hers before she could finish her thought. Her hand shot up to his hair, tangling her fingers in his thick locks. She opened her mouth a little granting him access. Suddenly she pulled back, Thayer closed his eyes and looked down like he'd done something wrong, "We can't do this with our daughter on the bed." She said. She lifted the sleeping baby and laid her in her crib. She stirred some and fell back to sleep. Sutton rushed back to her bed, pushing him down and pressing her lips to his. She laughed against his lips and she pulled his shirt off.

They were getting heavily into it when Sutton sat up, "Thay, condom." She said, "Kendall doesn't need a sibling anytime soon.

Thayer sat up, "Good idea." He reached for his wallet, pulling out his emergency stash. When he was ready, Sutton nodded a silent 'yes.'

Emma looked up at Ethan, "Ok one more bite." He said reaching across the table and taking another bite of her chocolate praline crunch cake. He'd taken Emma to a park for the evening and then out to dinner afterwards.

They were finishing up dessert when Emma spoke, "Ethan." Her voice was quiet.

Ethan looked at her. Her face was soft. She had been quite for most of the meal and it made Ethan nervous, "Yeah?"

"We need to talk." She absent-mindedly twisted her engagement ring on her finger.

Ethan looked at her twisting the ring and his heart pounded, "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," She said finally looking up at him, "It's just I keep thinking…" She let her voice trail off. Ethan twisted his face in confusion, " About us."

Ethan felt his heart sink into the pit of his stomach, "Emma, what's going on?"

She looked at her ring, twisting it back, "I just keep thinking about Rebecca's blow up at the club."

Ethan pinched his face, "Who cares what she says."

Emma looked up at him, "She's my mom, Ethan. I do care what she thinks. What if we are too young for this."

Ethan looked at her for a moment and then reached across the table and took her hands, gently massaging it with his thumb and forefinger, "Do you love me?"

Emma looked at him like he was crazy, "Of course I love you."

"Do you want to marry me?" His voice wavered, his knee bounced nervously like it always did when he hoped for a high grade on a test or right before he had to present a project to the class.

She looked down at their still joined hands and then back at him, "Of course I want to marry you, Ethan. But we're only 18. We have our whole lives to get married." She pulled her hands from his and twisted the engagement ring off her finger.

Ethan swallowed hard, watching her slowly change her mind, his heart hammered in his chest and he prayed that this wasn't the end of them, He shook his head, "Emma. Please?" His voice was a soft plea, "I love you. Don't do this."

She set the ring on the table, "I love you too, Ethan and I'm not breaking up with you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life."

Ethan pushed the ring towards her, "So let's get married."

She put her hands on top of his and shook her head, "We're too young, Ethan."

"No." He protested, "Look, I know maybe my parents aren't the best examples, but they married at 20 and 21 and they made it work."

Emma looked at him, "I know, But we aren't them. We are Emma and Ethan and what worked for your parents might not work for us."

Ethan looked down, "So what are you saying? It's over?" His voice cracked upsettingly and he tried to blink back tears.

Emma's heart broke, "No. Ethan. I'm not breaking up with you. I don't ever want to break up with you. But do you really think getting married at 18 is the best thing to do?"

"Yes, Emma. I love you. And I know you love me. I don't see why making it official is so wrong?" Ethan pleaded, looking her in the eyes.

"Because marriage is a legal binding thing. If we ever broke up, it's not just a break up. It's not just crying and eating ice cream in bed. It's a legal action. It's lawyers and court dates. It's money, Ethan. And I don't ever want to break up with you. But if I have doubts about this, do you really think it's such a good idea that we go through with it?" Emma said looking at her boyfriend. She loved Ethan more than anything in the world but she hadn't been able to get the words of her birth mother out of her head. Maybe Rebecca was right.

A tear fell down Ethan's cheek. Even though Ethan was strong and usually capable of disguising his emotions, but when it came to Emma, he had no control. She reached across the table and took his hands but he recoiled, tears falling faster. He shook his head, "Don't." His voice was a mere whisper.

Emma pulled her hands back and stuck them under the table, "Ethan, I'm sorry."

He shook his head, "Let's just go." Emma looked at him as he stood up. She followed suit and grabbed her purse. She looked down at the ring and picked it up. She rolled it between her fingers. Ethan looked at her, "No." He said simply, snatching the ring from her hand. Emma watched as he walked out of the restaurant. She followed after him.

The ride home was silent. Emma didn't know what to say, she felt like she'd worn out all of her 'I'm sorry's.' Ethan kept his focus on the road. She occasionally looked over at him, but he made no effort to look back. When they pulled into the Mercer's driveway, he killed the ignition. Emma didn't know what to say, "Ethan." She said softly hoping he wouldn't explode in her face again.

He put up a hand, "Don't Emma. Just go." He didn't look at her.

Emma looked down but grabbed her purse, "I'm sorry, Ethan." She opened the door and stepped out of the Jeep, "I love you Ethan." And even though he didn't say it back, she knew he loved her too. She closed her door. She felt a single tear slip down her cheek as she opened the front door. As she closed the door behind her, she felt herself sink to the ground unable to control the tears that were falling faster now.


	34. Talk About Love

Emma curled under her blanket, she softly played a Florence and The Machine song on her iPhone and tried not to cry when Sutton knocked gently on her door, "Hey." She said pushing the door, open. But when she saw Emma she rushed to her bed, "Em. What's wrong?" She said sliding into bed next to her.

Emma curled next to her twin sister, for once being the one in need of comfort and not being the one comforting. Sutton wrapped her arms around her sister, "I called it off." Emma mumbled.

"What?"

"Emma looked up at her sister pushing hair off her face, "I called off the engagement."

Sutton looked at her sister, shock and worry on her face, "Emma, why?"

"Because Rebecca's right. I'm too young." She said as tears fell from her eyes again. She sniffled.

"One thing I've learned is that you're not too young for anything. I'm too young to be a mom and Rebecca it damn clear the day that Kendall was born, but it doesn't matter. I've learned more about myself and growing up in the last two months, than I ever did in the last 18 years. And I've learned that if you want something and you believe in it, anything is possible. And I know you love Ethan. If you want to marry him then what's stopping you?" She said wrapping a finger around her sisters loosely curled hair.

She looked up at her, her blood redshot eyes met her sisters identical browns, "I'm scared." She whispered through her tears.

Sutton pulled her sister into her embrace, "Why are you scared. You love him don't you?"

"Of course I love him." Emma said reaching for a throw pillow. She pulled the comforter over her bare knees.

"Then why not marry him? Who says you have to marry him anytime soon? Just because you wear the ring doesn't mean you need to be rushing into the marriage. You can take time to prepare yourself. But if you love him, really love him, then don't let anyone else tell you you're too young to follow your heart. Especially Rebecca." Sutton said giving her twin sister a hug.

Emma looked up at her, "Thanks, Sutton." She wrapped her arms around her sisters shoulders and squeezed her tightly. When she pulled back she looked at Sutton, "Where's Kenz?"

Sutton drew in a deep breath, "I let her go out with Thayer for a few hours."

Emma looked at her, her jaw dropping open, "Really? Do you trust him with that?" Sutton shrugged, she blushed and Emma knew something was up, "Spill it."

Sutton looked down then up at her twin, "I slept with him."

Emma nearly screamed, "You what?!"

Sutton smiled sheepishly, "I slept with him."

"Please tell me you used protection." She said pressing her palms together in a prayer motion.

Sutton looked at her, "Yes, mom. We used protection."

"Well you know, last time you two had sex, Kendall came into the world." Emma reached over to her nightstand and grabbed her water bottle, taking a long sip and then placing it back on the stand. She turned and looked at her sister.

"I know. I made sure we didn't make that mistake again." Sutton said crossing her legs underneath her.

"Wait," Emma held up a finger, "You didn't use protection last time?" Sutton shook her head and Emma threw her hands up in the air, "Well no wonder you get pregnant."

Sutton shook her head, "I am careful about that stuff. I track it on my app on my iPhone. I wasn't supposedly ovulating that day."

Emma shook her head, "You're trusting an electronic iPhone app to tell you when to have protected and unprotected sex? Shouldn't you just always practice safe sex?"

Sutton looked at her sister, "Do you need to lecture me? I didn't think anything of it. I had just gotten my period. I thought you don't ovulate until two weeks before your next period."

Emma shook her head, "No. You usually ovulate the week after your period."

Sutton's eyes widened in an "Ohhh, I didn't know that" kind of way. She shook her head, "Whatever. I love Kendall and even if it all happened in an inconvenient way, I love that baby. And to answer your original question, yes I trust Thayer with his daughter."

Just then a voice echoed through the otherwise empty house, "Speak of the devil." Emma said standing up. She followed Sutton out to the living room. Thayer had Kendall's carrier sitting on the couch and he was unbuckling the sleeping baby from her seat. He lifted her and she barely even noticed immediately cuddling on Thayer's shoulder.

"Hey." He said when they walked into the room.

Sutton immediately when for her daughter and Thayer reluctantly handed her over. The baby squirmed and began to cry in her sleep. Sutton bounced her on her shoulder. The late afternoon sunshine was pouring into the living room and Emma moved to pull the shades down, "Shh, Kendall. I know you're hungry sweet pea. I'm here now."

She sat on the couch and laid the baby on her legs, propping her up with her knees. She prepared to feed the baby and Thayer just looked at her, "What are you doing?"

Sutton looked up at him, "Feeding Kendall. It's after five she has to be hungry." She lifted the baby and cradled her in her arms, watching as her daughter latched and began to suck. Thayer sure was not used to seeing her do that. He nodded his head and awkwardly turning away not sure if staring was exactly acceptable.

Emma covered a giggle with a cough, "So Thayer. I see you got my messages."

Thayer turned to look at her, still avoided the feeding action on the couch, "huh? Oh, um, yeah. I did."

Emma nodded, she shot a glance at her sister who was looking down at the tiny baby in her arms, Kendall looked at her and Sutton cracked a smile. Emma looked back at Thayer, "I'm really glad you got them. Kendall needs you."

Thayer looked down at the floor, "I know. I'm glad too." Then he looked up at her, "I shouldn't have left. Kendall is my daughter." He looked back at Sutton and the baby then back at Emma, "I need to be with my family. It's about time I grew up."

Emma nodded, "Having a baby will do that to you." Suddenly the phone in her back pocket buzzed and she reached for it. New message from Ethan. Her heart skipped a beat: Meet me at the club, we need to talk. It said. She swallowed and began to type: On my way, is everything ok?

She didn't get a reply until she was pulling out of the driveway: Just come alone. Emma's heart pounded as she drove the few short miles to the club, as she pulled into the parking lot she saw him standing alone. His arms were folded across his chest. He was wearing his khaki pants and blue Chelsea Creek polo. He was either about to clock in, on break or just got off from work. Emma pulled into a parking spot and walked up to him, "Hey." She said opening her arms from a hug but he refused. Emma dropped her arms, "Okay. Are you alright?"

He dropped his folded arms and took her hand, "Emma. I think we should break up." It was short and to the point.

Emma swallowed hard and tears welled in her eyes, "But."

Ethan shook his head, "I love you Emma."

"I love you too." She said brushing away tears. Her hair whipped in the wintery wind and she shivered. Her light cardigan gave no help to the cold factor.

"I'm all on or nothing at all." He said noticing her shivering body.

"I'm all in too." She said bouncing to generate some kind of heat.

Despite her shivering, Ethan didn't budge, "No. You called this engagement off. You're not all in."

Emma shook her head, "No. I'm in. Ethan, I shouldn't have let Rebecca's words scare me. I love you and I want to marry you. Just please can we go inside? I'm freezing." She bounced but Ethan didn't move.

"You can't just tell me you don't want to get married a day after calling off the engagement. this is best for both of us. Ok? It kills me, but I can't be with you if you are scared to be with me." He said looking down at her since was a good foot shorter than him.

She looked up at him, her tears warmed her face as the fell down her cheeks, "No that's not what I said. Ethan please, don't break up with me. Please?" She begged. She felt herself falling to pieces She desperately wished he'd wrap her in his arms, kiss the top of her head and tell her that everything would be okay. But instead he stood there, arms folded across his chest, legs shoulder-width apart and Emma felt like she was back in high school, getting yelled at by the principal, "I thought you loved me?" She pulled out as one last saving grace.

"I do love you, Emma. I want to spend my life with you." He said still not budging.

"Then why are you breaking up with me?" She looked at him, her face was red and she wiped away the tears that were falling faster.

"Because this is the only way I can get over you."

"What? I don't get it. Why do you want to get over me?"

"Because Emma. This is what you wanted."

She placed her hands on his arms, "No. That's not what I wanted, Ethan. I want you. I want you to want me."

Finally, he dropped his arms, "I do want you. But i don't see how this changes why you don't want to marry me."

"I'm just scared. Marriage is a huge step in our lives. I just don't want to rush it." She said still bouncing as another brisk gust of wind picked up her loose curls and tousled them in it's passing.

Ethan reached out for his girlfriends hands, "I'm not asking you to marry me today or even this year. We can take as much time as we need. I just want to know that I have you."

She looked up at her as their fingers interlaced, "You do have me. You've always had me and you always will have me." She said, "I want to marry you Ethan. I just don't want to rush it, okay?"

Finally, Ethan smiled "We don't have to rush it," he said pulling her into his warm body, "I love you Emma."

"I love you too, Ethan." She said letting his body heat warm his body. He kissed the top of her head and she looked up at him, "So we aren't broken up?" He shook his head. She paused for a moment and chewed her lip, "Can we go back to being engaged?" She asked slowly.

Ethan smiled and stepped back, "I thought you'd never ask." He reached into his pocket and dropped to his knee, it was still just as shocking as the first time he'd done it, "Emma Becker, will you marry me?"

Emma smiled, "Yes." She said with a nod.

He stood up and slipped the ring back on her finger. Even if it had only been 24 hours since she had taken it off, it seemed weird to see it their again on her left hand. He wrapped her in a hug and pressed a kiss to her lips, "I love you."


	35. Never Gonna Let This Go

Sutton sat at the table at the Mercer home. She had just finished feeding Kendall and now she was laying quietly in her pack and play that Sutton had moved to the kitchen. The smell of seafood filled the air. Thayer was madly running around the kitchen, "Let me make you dinner." He'd said to her that morning when he'd woken up beside her.

"You don't have to." Sutton said yawning and stretching her arms above her head.

"You've up all night with the baby, let me do something nice for you." He said kissing her forehead.

Sutton smiled and sat up on her bed, Kendall still slept soundly in her crib, it was still so precious watching her back rise and fall in her sleep, "Well if you're offering, I'm not saying no."

Now Sutton was scrolling her twitter feed on her iPhone and the smell of boiled crab legs, scallops, broccoli with lemon and garlic mashed potatoes filled the kitchen. He even made a chocolate cake for dessert. She set down her phone and looked up at her ex-boyfriend frantically moving around the kitchen from the island to the stove to reading the recipe he'd found in one of Kristen's old cookbooks, "So why are you being so nice?" She asked.

Thayer stopped and looked up at her, "Can't I do something nice for you?" He said grabbing some spices on the island and turning his back to Sutton and measured some into a measuring spoon, dumping it into the skillet with the scallops.

she smiled, "Yeah. You can, it's just this isn't really like you. Especially since we aren't together or anything." Her words made Thayer stop and look up.

He turned and looked at him, "I know that. But you've done a lot lately, especially with Kendall and I just wanted to do something nice for you."

His words made her blush and she looked down. Across the room, Kendall stirred in her sleep and she looked at her but she didn't wake.

When the food was ready, the sun had started to set and the stars sparkled in the reflection of the Mercer's pool outside. He lit two pillar candles and placed a plate of food in front of Sutton, "Wow, Thayer this is amazing. Thank you." She said picking up her fork.

"You're welcome, Sutton." He said smiling at her. Every moment he spent with her he found himself falling more in love with her. He definitely never stopped loving her, "Sutton?"

She looked up at the sound of her name, "Yeah?"

Thayer poking a few scallops on his plate his fork, nervously avoiding her gaze, "I…" he stumbled over his words, "I think I love you." He said.

Sutton dropped her fork. So this was what this about. A romantic evening with his ex in hopes of getting her back, "Oh, Thayer." She whispered.

Thayer's heart pounded, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." He said nervously trying to cover his tracks.

Sutton reached out and touched his arm, "No. It's not that, it's just. You ended this."

Thayer nodded, "I know. And it was a mistake. I never should have walked away." He said finally looking up at her, "I never stopped loving you Sutton."

Sutton looked over at the sleeping baby they had created together. She looked a lot like Thayer, "I love you too, Thay."

Thayer looked back at the table nervously debating on what to say next, "Well," He said slowly, "What do you think of getting back together?"

Sutton's heart pounded, "I don't know, Thayer." She said softly. She was really getting used to Thayer being in his daughter's life. She liked the extra help with Kendall and she definitely hadn't gotten over Thayer. As a matter of fact, she was falling in love with him the more he interacted with his daughter, "I really like you being here and being in Kendall's life. But getting back together with you is a big decision."

Thayer looked over at her, "I just want to be here. I want to be with you and Kendall." He looked at the sleeping baby, "This is my family." He said looking back at Sutton, "My daughter and her mother. The only real love I've ever known is right here with you, Sutton."

Sutton drew in a deep breath, "I don't know, Thayer. I want it, I really do. But I don't want to lose you again. I can't handle that." She said.

Thayer shook his head, "I'm not going to leave you again, this is where I am supposed to be, Sutton. With you and Kendall."

Sutton sighed, "Fine, Thayer. But promise me you won't hurt me and Kendall again."

Thayer smiled and sighed a breath of relief, "I'm not going to hurt you again, Sutton. I love you."

Sutton smiled, "I love you too, Thayer." She reached across the table and kissed him. As she pulled away, Kendall began to cry in her sleep. Sutton stood up, "I need to feed her and get her down for the night. So much for a bath." She said moving to the baby and lifting her up. Kendall's arms reached above her head and grasped a small section of Sutton's hair, "Ow, ow Kendall." She said untangling her curls from the babies grasp, "Let go of mommy's hair." She walked out of the kitchen to her room s Thayer stood up to begin washing the dishes. As he did, he looked at his phone. One new text message from Olivia. He swallowed at the name and opened the message. Thayer, where did go? We need to talk. Call me. Was all it said. He swallowed and looked into the empty house to see if Sutton was in her room. When he saw that her bedroom door was closed, he dialed Olivia's number.


	36. To The Steadfast

Emma looked over at her phone. The airport was practically dead and she was beginning to miss her family Even though she said her good-byes an hour ago, she hoped that Sutton or Laurel would have texted her something that she missed out on but her phone hasn't lit up since she got to the airport. Emma picked up the phone. Immediately she pulled up her instagram, scrolling at the photo's she'd posted over the winter break, Kendall's little face looked up into the camera. Emma swallowed back a sob, she knew that the next time she saw that baby she would be almost six months old and she was going to miss so much in her life. She looked at her boarding pass. Her flight was supposed to begin boarding in ten minutes. Emma sighed and looked at her phone, dialing someone's familiar number, "I need you to come to the airport." She said.

Sutton and Thayer were sitting on the Mercer's bench swing enjoying the cold winter air. She wrapped a large plush blanket around their shoulders and she cuddled into his arms. He kissed her on the forehead. Sutton had Kendall in her carrier. She wore a long sleeved onesie with grey and white stripes, her pink plush blanket was tucked tightly around the babies body. A pink cotton hat on her head. She was fast asleep and Sutton smiled. Her little family may have been young, but it was the best thing that had ever happened to her, "Having you here is the best thing that could have happened this year." She said looking up at him and kissing his lips.

Thayer pulled back from the kiss and looked at her, "I'm glad to be here." He said giving her a weak smile then he looked away.

Sutton looked at him, "Thayer, what's wrong?" She said trying to catch his gaze.

He shook his head, "Nothing." He said. Even though he knew there was something he needed to tell her. But when he looked at her, all he wanted was to see her smile. He looked over at her, "Nothing's wrong. Where's my little monkey?" He said looking over Sutton and down at the sleeping baby. So far this being a dad thing really only consisted of holding Kendall when she slept. She was still too small to play with toys and she couldn't crawl or walk yet. So basically all he did was hold her and rock her to sleep when she got drowsy. But those few moments he had with his daughter meant everything to him. How could he possibly leave her again?

Emma slammed the door shut, letting the heat of the car warm her body. She shivered one last time and then looked over at her driver, "Thank you." She said reaching over her body and pulling the seat belt into it's latch.

"So what's going on? Your plane is boarding right now." Ethan said pulling out onto the airport traffic, a car behind him honked their horn, but Ethan just gave them the finger as he kept going.

Emma looked at her worn in jeans and crossed her legs, the fabric of her UGG boots that she'd gotten for Christmas rubbed together, "I can't leave." She said quietly ashamed in herself for making such a rash decision.

Ethan looked at her, "What do you mean you can't leave? You have to go back to school." He stopped at a red light and the car from before pulled up along side him. The driver returned the same gesture that Ethan had shared earlier, but he didn't even pay attention. He turned his focus on Emma.

"I can't leave Sutton. I can't leave Kendall. This is my family and I need to be there for them." She said, then she reached over and rested her hand on his arm that was gripping the gear shift of the Jeep. Her engagement ring glimmered in the light of the afternoon sun. It caught his attention and he looked down at it, "And I can't leave you."

Ethan looked at her, "Emma. Don't."

She looked at him and smiled, "What?"

He looked back at the road. The light changed green and the car next to him took off leaving Ethan and Emma in a cloud of dust, "Don't stay here because of me. Emma you have a bright future. Don't leave school because of me."

Emma looked down, "I'm not. I'm leaving because I want to. Because I don't want to miss seeing my niece grow up."

Ethan sighed and shook his head, "Emma, she's always going to be there. School is a big deal. You are too bright to just give up on school."

Emma looked at him, "I can't go back Ethan. I can't go back to that cold dorm room. I can't go back to feeling like a small fish in a big ocean and besides there's school in Phoenix."

"Stanford is a great school and you can't just give up on Mads like that. What kind of friend just ditches their roommate?" Ethan snapped.

Emma looked over at him, her face was shocked at his response. She was sure he'd be happy that she wasn't going back to California, "What's wrong with you? Can't you just be happy for once?"

"No, Emma!" He snapped, he slammed his break at another red light that caused Emma to jerk forward and slam back against the seat.

"Jesus Ethan!" She cursed.

Ethan looked at her, "You're the only one here who has a chance, Emma. You have a future. Why would you throw it all away for me?"

Emma looked at him cross, "I don't understand why you aren't happier for me."

"Because this is a stupid choice Emma. I'm not happy." He snapped angrily. He pulled into the Mercer's driveway and threw the car in park then he turned to her, "Emma look. You have a bright future. I don't. Ok? The best thing I can do is service motorcycles for a living. But you?" He looked down, "You have so much potential. You are so smart, you have so many opportunities and you're throwing it all away for me."

"And Sutton and Kendall." She reached over the car and took his hands, "I'm not throwing away my opportunities, Ethan. I'm just not going back to Stanford. There are schools here and I can transfer. But I just can't leave my family behind. I just found them, leaving them kills me every time I have to do it. Ethan you mean so much to me and being away from you for 4 months is too much for me. I'm sick of coming home for days or a week at a time. I just want to be with you and my sister and my niece. School isn't going to end because I stay here. I'm just not going to Stanford anymore." She looked at him. He was silent and she studied him trying to draw some kind of answers of how he was feeling.

After a few moments he looked at her, "I still think this is stupid. But it's your life Emma and I'll stand behind anything you choose to do if you think this is right for you." Then he leaned over and kissed her.

Emma smiled and pushed open her door, "You wanna come in?"

"I can't. I told Dan I'd help him do some work on the squad car this afternoon. Plus I'm sure Kristen is going to have some kind of heart attack when you walk through that door when you should be halfway to Stanford by now.

Emma shrugged, "Alright. Will I see you tomorrow?" Ethan nodded, "Ok, I love you."

Ethan looked at her, "I love you too baby." Then she smiled and closed the car door. She waved one last time before heading up the steps to the front door.

"Mom?" Emma called through the foyer of the house. She dropped her bags at the door. The house was quiet, no sign of Sutton or Laurel or Kendall.

"Sutton?" Kristen said walking out from her office. She looked at the girl standing in the living room. Her ripped blue jeans, maroon button down chiffon blouse, tan UGG boots and loosely curled long brown hair and she was smiling, "Emma? What are you doing here?" She sounded almost angry but mostly confused.

"I'm home." She said proudly half expecting Kristen to excited wrap her arms around her daughter and half expecting her to blow a fuse on her for not being on the plane back to California.

"I see that. Why?"

"Because I missed my mommy." Emma said hoping that Kristen would buy into her half lie.

Kristen began shaking her head, "No. You need to go. Emma, school starts Monday. You shouldn't be here." She said.

"I'm not going back." She declared, walking to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of snapple peach tea.

Kristen followed behind her, "What do you mean you're not going back?"

"I'm not going back to Stanford, mom. I don't care if I have to get a job, I'm not leaving Sutton and Kendall." She said taking a long sip of the cool beverage.

"Kendall and Sutton will be here when you come home, Emma. But you need to go back to school. You need to finish out the semester. We can discuss this when you come home for the summer." Kristen said pushing her daughter back towards the door. Emma froze.

"I'm not going back, mom." She grabbed one of her bags and pulled it back towards her bedroom.

Kristen sighed not knowing how to handle the situation. On one hand Emma was eighteen and fully capable of making her own decisions and on the other, this was Kristen's home and as long as Emma lived under it she would obey by Kristen's rules. She watched her daughter storm down the hall and slam the door. Kristen sighed, somehow she would get Emma back to Stanford if she had to drive Emma herself.


	37. Come What May

"I'm on my way." Sutton said into her iPhone. She threw the phone onto the passengers seat and continued down the highway. Kendall was asleep in her carseat, a small duck shaped stuffed doll hung from the handle of the carrier seat and swayed with the gentle motion of the car. Sutton had taken notice that her driving had become ten times safer now with Kendall in the backseat than it ever was before she was a mom. The long strip of highway past slowly, the tree lined road blurred her vision. Thayer had asked her to meet him at the Rybaks because he had something "Important to tell her." Her heart pounded in her chest. Her mind wandered, what had she done? He didn't sound upset, but he'd been so distant lately. They'd only been back together a week, he could possibly want to break up so soon, would he? She thought of her daughter, of Thayer holding her in her bedroom, falling asleep on the bed beside her. She thought about the note he'd left her, when he first told her he was leaving town. What could he possibly have to tell her that was so important?

For a moment, she thought about when Ethan proposed to Emma. Could it be that Thayer was going to ask her to marry him? Finally make this family official? A mother, a father, husband, wife and a daughter. The thought made Sutton smile and her heart pound for a different reason. Suddenly she was nervous, knowing now how Emma must have felt. As she pulled off the highway onto a dirt road and down a long driveway to a steel gate, she opened her door and pounded the code she'd known ever since she was 10 years old. The gate opened slowly and Sutton drove down the long driveway to the Rybak's home. The house Alec raised his children in, even after his wife had left him. They'd been at Char's old house so long, she'd forgotten what it was like to be here. It was an eerily familiar and yet somewhat distant feeling. She past the long spanse of lawn where she'd chase Laurel and Mads until they were so out of breath they'd crash to the ground in laughter. She had memories of squirt gun fights and raking fall leaves into piles only to jump into them. There were so many memories made on that lawn and now, maybe, just maybe another memory could be made there, in the form of a proposal. For a moment she stopped and stared at it. The grass was dead from the blistery winter wind, the leaves on the trees were gone. The trees that Sutton had scraped her knees many times trying to climb. The same tree that Laurel had broken her leg from falling out of after she'd tried to emulate her sister's leap of faith to the ground. She remembered the blood curdling scream that had stopped Mads and Sutton dead in their tracks and turn around. She looked at the spot where Laurel had laid, grabbing her leg, crying. She remembered yelling at Mads to get her dad and ran back to comfort her little sister. Part of her missed those simple times and part of her prayed that wherever she was going in this world, she could provide those kinds of memories for her own daughter. She hoped that Kendall too would have a little sister, someone to sneak out on Christmas eve to spy on what Santa had left for them. Someone to tell secrets to that no one else knew. She hoped that Kendall would have a best friend like Mads, the tough cookie who never let anyone put her down. She pulled her foot off the brake and the car began to slowly roll forward towards the large brick house that was all too familiar to Sutton.

She parked the car and opened the back door, pulling her daughter from her carrier, but leaving the seat attached this time. She walked up the stone walkway to the large black solid wood doors. She rang the bell and then let her gaze pass once more over the landscape where most of her childhood had taken place. When Thayer opened the door, Sutton whipped back around her, "Hey." She said with a smile.

Thayer smiled back and moved aside, "Come in. Get out of the cold." Sutton smiled and stepped into the corridor. The house was dark and smelled of the same patchouli smell it always had. It seemed like nothing had changed but the people. Thayer guided her into the den and instructed her to take a seat.

Sutton drew in a deep breath, she laid the baby on the couch and pulled down her blue 'I love mommy' t-shirt. The baby sucked on a pacifier and blinked up at her mom. Sutton gave her a smile and then looked at Thayer, "So what's so important you needed me to come all the way out here?"

Thayer looked at Kendall. This precious angel was still such a hard thing to grasp. _His daughter. _The words still rang in his mind. He looked up at Sutton. He loved her there was no doubt of that. But now his heart pounded and he didn't know what he was doing, "There's something I need to tell you."

Sutton's heart pinged her chest, she knew nothing good ever preceded those words, 'we need to talk,' "Ok." She said slowly. She chewed her lip nervously.

Thayer sighed, "Ok. Well when I left town, I didn't intend to end up in Stanford and I certainly didn't know that Emma would be there too. But I somehow found myself."

Sutton looked at him, "Where is this going, Thayer?" She asked picking at the ruffles of her daughters socks.

"I met a girl." Thayer said suddenly. The words just seemed to come out. Sutton's heart swelled at those words. This wasn't a proposal at all. In fact it was what she'd feared all along.

"You're leaving." She said softly, looking down at Kendall.

Thayer sat up, "No." He said, then he slumped back into the leather couch, "I don't know. But it's not because I don't want to be with you."

"What are you trying to tell me, Thayer?" She said, suddenly feeling agitated and mad at herself for letting her fall into his trap. It hadn't even been a week and he was ready to back to some girl he'd only known a few months.

Thayer sighed, "She's pregnant." There. He said it. His heart felt lighter and yet the look on Sutton's face seemed to keep it weighted down.

She sat there, that typical Sutton Mercer devil look on her face. Anger surged through her and somewhere instinct made her want to rip out that girls eyeballs, but it wasn't her fault. Not exactly. She shook her head, "Well aren't you just on a roll. Two in one year." Tears filled her eyes and her voice softened, "How could you Thayer?"

Thayer's heart sank, seeing her cry was painful. He wanted to hold her but he knew Sutton well enough to know that right now, the last thing she was going to let him do was hold her, "Please Sutton. Don't be mad. I just found out. I didn't know how to tell you."

She shook her head at him, "I knew this was going to happen. Now you're going to leave me and Kendall like you did before for this bitch and her bastard child."

Some kind of paternal instincts must've kicked in Thayer somehow and he snapped at her, "Hey! Don't you dare talk about my child like that. And if you want to talk about bastard children, look at what's laying on my couch."

Sutton shook her head, "Fuck you, Thayer. You never should have come back. You know what? Go back to that bitch. Kendall and I can do this alone. We don't need you." Then she grabbed her keys and lifted her daughter. This whole storming out in a huff act would have gone over better if the baby wasn't in her arms.

In the car she let herself break down, hot tears poured down her cheeks. She slammed her hands against the steering wheel, "Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!" She screamed. Her upset and anger must've scared Kendall because all of a sudden she began crying. Sutton turned swiftly to look at her daughter. Her heart pounded. Confusion, frustration, anger and hurt all overwhelmed her and she turned back to face the front of the car. She put the key in the ignition and pulled out of the Rybak's driveway.

**A/N: whew! Long time no talk! What's up guys? Are y'all liking the story? I'm trying to keep it interesting. I know a lot of you are wanting lot of fluff and whatnot so I am trying to balance fluffy happy romantic things with drama. I wanna keep it interesting so let me know how you're liking it. Anyways, has anyone read the last book? Did you catch a similarity in the first quarter of the book? I nearly freaked out when I read it! :) Anyways, if you know what I'm talking about leave me a comment and tell me if you caught it too. ***For the record, I had NO idea that she was going to put that in the book and came up with that story line completely on my own about 3 or 4 months ago (obviously cause that's when I first published it.) But still how cool is that? Well, I thought it was cool! :)**


	38. A Little Bit More

Emma's heart pounded so loud it seemed like it was all she could hear. Ethan's hand was tracing small lines along her spine. He kissed her softly, lips brushing against hers almost feather lightly. Emma felt tingles run down her spine and she put her hands on his chest. She could feel his heart beat in chest and it seemed to be pounding equally as hard as hers. He fumbled with the hem of her cotton shirt, his fingers brushed so gently against her stomach suck in. It seemed like every inch of her body was on fire. The slightest touches sent shivers in every direction. She moved from the passenger's climbing on top of his lap and closing the space between them, trying to get as close his body as possible. Even though the wind chill outside made it feel like the 40's, the chemistry of their body heat made both of them sweat. He quickly removed her shirt and deepened the kiss, letting his tongue snake into her mouth. She gave it a gentle bite knowing it'd send him reeling and sure enough he growled against her lips and pulled her in closer to him. He moved to her neck, placing hungry kisses down it to her shoulder. She let out a moan and pulled off his shirt tossing it aside in a rush to get back to his body. She ran her hands along his washboard abs, thanking the good Lord for every rigid groove. Her long fingernail drew goosebumps to the surface of Ethan's skin. The foreplay was fun, but when Ethan started eagerly pulling at the brown brained belt on her bright white frayed shorts, she knew he meant business. She pressed her body weight into the seat of the parked Jeep that sat outside Ethan's vacant trailer. Dan was working the night shift and Ethan had the place to himself. Even though they could take this inside, something about the sheen of their sweaty bodies and the hungry need only made it that more erotic. When she was completely rid of all clothing, she began undressing him. Pulling his pants down just enough to release his need. She kissed him passionately and then leaned into his ear, "I need you." She whispered passionately, giving his ear lobe a slight nibble. The words, the bite it drove him insane and he looked deep in her eyes, need, desire and passion soared through that Jeep and the sweat of their movements made the windows fog.

When it was over, Emma sighed, crawling back to the passengers seat and pulling her shorts onto her lap, "Shit, that was good." She said still catching her breath. Thankfully Ethan's trailer was set back on a dirt road and no visible neighbors for miles made it less stressful having to control volume and the shaking of the jeep with every movement they made.

Ethan too took a moment to catch his breath, "You're telling me. Damn it Emma, you seriously are amazing." He said pulling his jeans back up.

Emma smiled to herself, though she only had limited experience, all those naughty words that Travis had once tried using on her back in Vegas made it much easier to get a guy she actually wanted to sleep with riled up. She grabbed her floral tank top and pulled it over her sweaty body, the fabric clinging to her. She pulled her sweaty hair up into a messy ponytail and looked over at him, "What if dead people actually could see what we are doing on earth?" She asked. Ethan twisted his face and gave her a confused look, "What do you think my dad is thinking right now? I mean here we are almost a year since he died and we're engaged and Sutton's a mom. Do you think he would be disappointed?'

Ethan looked at her, this conversation was exactly what he had in mind for post-sex chat, "Well," He said, "I don't think he'd be happy per se, I think that if you're happy then he'd be happy for you. But you're still his daughter and it's never easy for a father to accept that his daughter has grown up." Emma twisted the engagement ring on her hand smiling at it. She knew that one day Ethan was going to make a great dad. Maybe a little too over protective, but with only the best of intentions. She thought about their daughter, she shook her head, and he looked at her, "What?"

"Nothing. I just fear for our daughter's love life." She said smiling.

"If we have a daughter." He said knowing that even if he wanted to have kids with Emma, he knew that hopefully it wouldn't happen anytime soon.

"I know, but I see you being the father cleaning out his shot gun as her very first date is walking up the driveway to pick her up." Talking about what it'd be like having teenagers with Ethan scared her but at the same time gave her an overwhelming joy and sense of security that he'd always be there for her.

Ethan nodded, "Damn right. No boy will hurt my child without knowing the consequences that follow." he smiled. Then he looked down, "Hey."

Emma looked up at him, "Hmm?"

Ethan drew in a deep breath, "I found a small apartment not too far from the club and I was just thinking, you know, about renting a place."

Emma smiled, "Ethan that's incredible. Your own place. Can you afford it?"

"It's rent controlled but yeah I think I can swing it. But, um." His heart hammered in his chest, "What do you think about moving in… you know, together?"

Emma's heart nearly stopped, "Move in? together?" Ethan nodded, "Ethan." Her voice was soft. Even though she was 18 and while most 18 year olds were itching to move out of their parents place, she'd just found the Mercers and finally felt like she found her family.

Ethan's heart pounded, "I know it seems kind of sudden and you don't need to make a decision right now. But I signed a lease. I move in on Monday. That doesn't mean you need to move in with me. I'm just letting you know, there's room for you too, if you decide that you want to move in."

Emma's heart melted she looked over at her fiancee, "I love you Ethan and I know we will get to that point, but I just found the Mercer's and even though most people my age would kill to be out on their own, I'm really enjoying this having a family thing."

Ethan nodded, "I know. But the complex isn't that far from the Mercer's and you have your own car so you can come and go as you wish. But like I said, you don't have to move in right away. I'm not going to pressure you if you don't feel comfortable." Ethan said reaching across the Jeep and taking her hand.

Emma drew in her bottom lip, "I love you, Ethan. And I'll get there, I promise. But I moved back here to be with my family. And I know it's not as far as Stanford, but I just need more time with them. Especially Kristen and Sutton."

Sutton laid in her bed, Kendall laid beside her, she pinched at her daughters toes and looked at her, "I don't what we are going to do Kenz." The baby blinked at her and Sutton smiled, "No matter what always know that I love you and I only want you to be happy." She leaned down and placed a kiss on her daughter's soft skin. She looked at the clock as it struck exactly 7. She pushed the covers off her body and sat up, "How about we get ready for a bath?" She said lifting the tiny baby. She squirmed in Sutton's arms and began to fuss. Sutton bounced up and down, "Shh, kens." She spoke softly, "It's okay sweetheart. I love you." She bounced the baby as she made her way to her bathroom, she turned on the light with her elbow and grabbed the blue plastic baby tub and placed it in the tub. She turned on the water and Kendall cried even harder. Sutton laid her on the light blue bath mat and opened her diaper, a fowl smell wafted and Sutton winced, "Ugh, I'm never going to get used to this." She said waving a hand over her nose. She reached up and grabbed the wipes off the top of the toilet and began to wipe down her daughters bottom. Sticking the used wipes into the diaper. When she was done, she pushed the diaper into her trashcan and took off the babies tiny shirt. It was still so weird looking at such tiny clothes. Her laundry now compiled mostly of Kendall's tiny onesies, leggings, dresses and pajama's tangled into her mothers designer jeans and expensive shirts. Memories of times when she spent most of her money on herself. Now she just spent most of it on diapers, and outfits for her daughter. Sutton couldn't remember the last time she'd splurged on an outfit for herself when that used to be typical weekend activities with Mads and Char. When the tub was full of the lukewarm water, She laid the baby in the plastic tub and poured some lavender scented soap into the water. She grabbed the light pink washcloth specifically for Kendall off the small towel rack above the soap dish and dipped it in the water, letting it get completely soaked, she ran the towel over Kendall's body and the baby began kicking, making it difficult for Sutton to bathe her. Sutton pulled her leg down but the baby resisted, her growing strength was beginning to be used against her mother, "Kendall, stop it." She said fighting with her 2 month old for control. Finally, she managed to get Kendall clean and she pulled the drain of the tub. She grabbed the babies small towel off the hook on the wall and she wrapped the wet baby in the towel. When the cold air hit her skin, Kendall began to kick and fuss again. Sutton looked at her, "Listen kid, I know it's aggravating, but you just have to deal with it." She closed her bedroom door and laid Kendall on her bed, she reached for a clean diaper and the pajama's she'd set out before giving Kendall her bath.

After Sutton had Kendall dressed she sat in her mothers rocking chair, She laid the baby in her arms and prepped her for a feeding. She rocked the baby silently as she ate. Occasionally Kendall would look up at her mom, holding Sutton's gaze. Her deep blues eyes sparkled in the moonlight that was washing in through her window. The baby reached up grasping at air and Sutton slipped her finger watching the tiny fingers wrap around hers. When the baby was finished, she stood up. Kendall was drowsy now and she laid the baby in the crib hoping that maybe this way she'd sleep longer and maybe, hopefully, through the night. Sutton shut of the light of her room and cracked the door. In the living room she heard the front door open, she walked out to see who it was and smiled to see Emma walk through the door, "Hey."

Emma looked up at her, "Oh hey." Emma chewed her bottom lip and looked at her sister. Sutton smiled and headed to the kitchen, "Wait." Emma said causing her sister to stop dead in her tracks. Sutton turned and looked at her twin, "Can I ask you for advice?"

Sutton looked at her, "You want advice from me?" Emma nodded and then followed her sister to the kitchen, "So what's up?" Sutton asked grabbing a water bottle from the fridge and slipping into one of the tall chairs at the island. Emma did the same.

"Ethan asked me to move in with him." She confessed.

Sutton nearly choked on her water, "What?"

"He got a place near the club and wants me to move in with him." She said twisting the band of her bracelet.

"Are you going to move in with him?"

Emma pushed her hands down towards the island, "Not so loud, I don't want mom to know quite yet."

Sutton shook her head, "Mom's out. She had some yoga class."

Emma sighed a breath of relief, "I don't know. Should I?"

Sutton made a 'duh' face, "Uhh, yeah. Emma your fiancee asked you to move in with him, why wouldn't you?"

Emma shrugged, "I don't know." for some reason it seemed weirder telling Sutton that she wasn't ready to leave all of this behind, "I just don't think I'm ready."

"Emma you're 18, you are allowed to move out now." Sutton said nodding.

At that moment, Laurel walked into the kitchen, she had on lime green and white striped cotton shorts and a plain white t-shirt on. Her long blonde hair was wrapped in a towel and she opened the refrigerator door, "Who's moving out?"

Sutton looked at her little sister proudly, "Ethan asked Emma to move in with him."

Laurel shut the door and turned to her sisters, "What?!" she moved to the last empty chair at the island beside Sutton, "He asked you to move in?"

Emma blushed but nodded, "But I'm not doing it."

Laurel looked at her like she was stupid, "What? You have to do it. Eventually you'll have to move in together. You can't be married and not living together."

"I know that. But the weddings not for…" she paused for a moment, thinking, "Well, a while. I will eventually get around to it. But I'm just not ready yet."

Laurel shook her head, "Emma. You're crazy not to do this."

"I'm going to do it, just not right away. Besides, I kinda like the separation. It makes things interesting. I like missing him so that when I do wake up beside him, it's all that much sweeter." She smiled.

Just as Sutton opened her mouth to say something, her cell buzzed on the table beside her. Thayer's name flashed on the scene, "Shit, I need to get this." Then she slipped out of the chair and let herself out on to the patio. Emma and Laurel looked at each other and shrugged.


	39. Titanium

"So what are you going to do?" Thayer said quietly. The girl across from him shrugged her shoulders, she looked distant and scared. Thayer reached over and took her hand.

Olivia looked up at him, "We have to get married." She said searching his eyes for some kind of answers.

Thayer looked at her, "What?" his voice was shaky. He brushed a crumb off his pant leg and avoided her gaze.

"Thayer I'm having your baby. It's the best for all of us." But Thayer closed his eyes. Sutton's face popped in his mind. Images of Kendall followed. That was his family. But then he looked at Olivia. It wasn't that he didn't care about her, or even loved her, but he knew where his heart was.

He looked at her, "I… love… Sutton." The words came so painstakingly slow. His voice wavered with nerves and he tried avoiding her gaze. He knew she was scared, he wanted to help her but he knew there was nothing he could really do, "How far along are you?"

She looked down at her lap, a gust of wind whipped her hair off her back, "twelve weeks."

Thayer's jaw nearly hit the ground, "twelve weeks? And you're just now telling me?"

Olivia looked hurt and upset, "I tried to call you sooner, but you ignored my calls. Thayer thought about this. It was true that she'd called him several times in the past few weeks but it was almost always when he was with Sutton and Kendall.

Thayer sucked in a breath, "I can't marry you." He said softly.

She looked at him angrily, "So what?! You're gonna leave me for that bitch of an ex-girlfriend?"

Thayer shot her a look of anger, "Sutton is _not _a bitch. I love her, Olivia."

Tears filled Olivia's eyes, "What about all those times you told me you loved me? Were those lies?"

Thayer looked at her, he reached up and wiped a tear from her cheek but she only recoiled, "No, I did love you and I still care about you. But I love Sutton."

Sutton pulled her hair back into a ponytail and began pushing the stroller again. The spring sunshine began warming her body and she was finally able to dress Kendall in something a little less than the thick layers she'd had her in all winter. Her daughter had already doubled in size and weight and was finally beginning to look like a baby and not like some weird alien that Sutton had always thought newborns looked like. When she founded the large tree she'd used to play under with Laurel, she put the strollers breaks on and laid out a large blanket. The sounds of birds chirping was a nice treat to the tell-tale signs that Spring wasn't too far away. When she'd spread the blanket out, she looked at her sister, "You can take her out." She said grabbing the diaper bag and cooler she'd packed underneath the stroller. Emma looked at the baby who's deep blue eyes had faded into a sparkling light blue and Emma hoped that maybe her daughter would get Ted's blue eyes. Sutton had her in a light pink short sleeved onesie and tiny denim shorts. White floral sandals adorned her tiny feet. It was the first pair of shoes aside from soft booties she'd bought for her daughter. A white lace-looking headband was still on her head and Sutton hoped she hadn't figured out what that was long enough to get some cute photo's of her. She pulled her Canon Rebel from the diaper bag and set it in the grass. She laid Kendall on the blanket and then grabbed the camera. She wiggled some fingers above the baby hoping to get a gummy smile out of the baby. Up until now, most of the photo's she'd had of Kendall were formal photo's of her naked laying on a soft cloud looking pillow or in her Christmas eve dress laying in a Christmas present. But since the Arizona weather had warmed a little, Sutton was excited to finally get some of her amateur shots in. When she was in school, she took a photography class and it was one of the only classes she ever liked. Emma tickled the baby and finally got a good belly laugh out of her, Sutton snapped the photo and looked at the preview, "I love that!" She said. Then she moved the baby and laid her on her stomach, by now Kendall was able to hold her head up and look forward. Sutton snapped a few good shots. Emma got in a few on her iPhone as well and then put them in a collage. She posted it to instagram with the tag line, how can she be four months already? She was just born yesterday.

When the girls were done taking photo's of Kendall, they laid her on her stomach and handed her a few light up toys. Some of the only toys that really held Kendall's attention. She reached to the cooler and pulled out the two sandwiches they'd bought from Subway on their way to the park. Sutton unwrapped her sub and looked at her sister, "So have you thought more on the offer Ethan gave you?"

Emma took a bite of her spicy Italian sub and shook her head a piece of onion fell from the sandwich onto Emma's pant leg and she flicked it into the grass, "No not yet. I mean, I want to live with him. It's just scary. I've never lived with a guy outside of a percy son of a bitch foster brother."

"Well that doesn't count." Sutton said taking a sip of her diet Coke.

"I know, that's why I'm so hesitant." She said taking another bite, "I wouldn't know what to do."

Sutton smiled, "You don't have to do anything. It's like having a roommate that you actually can have sex with." She looked at Emma's engagement ring, still slightly jealous that she'd gotten the guy in the end, but still she was happy for her sister, "I mean you're going to marry the guy. Shouldn't you know if you'll be able to stand living together?"

Emma shrugged, "Yeah. I mean I'm not going to avoid it forever. It's just a scary concept." She said setting her sandwich down and opening her bag of Sour Cream and Onion potato chips. She popped one in her mouth and crunched down on it.

Sutton nodded, "It is a scary concept. But it's still so incredible. If I could move out, I would. My room is beginning to get too small for me _and _Kendall." she said.

"Well with the money you have from Dad, you can afford it. Why don't you?" Emma asked, crunching on another chip. Emma looked over at Kendall who had learned to flip over on her back. She was holding the toy above her face and kicking her legs. Emma smiled at the baby.

Sutton shrugged, "I don't know. I like the extra help." She confessed suddenly feeling guilty that maybe she relied on Kristen a little too much. After all, it was Kristen who bought the diapers. It was Kristen who took care of Kendall while Sutton showered or grabbed a power nap in the afternoons. Kristen still provided her with food and cooked her meals and she still did her daughter's laundry, "I wouldn't survive on my own."

Emma looked at Sutton, "Well at some point you're going to have to learn. Kendall's going to need her own room. She can't sleep in her mommy's childhood room her whole life."

Sutton looked down, "I know. And maybe I'll look into it. Hey, would you want to move in together? You know, since you don't want to move in with Ethan yet?"

Emma thought about this. It seemed like a good offer. It was less rent for her sister to handle and it was still an opportunity to be close to her twin, "I don't know, maybe. We could go look at places after lunch if you want."

Sutton smiled, "That might be good." She looked over at her daughter. She wondered how Kristen would feel when she finally did move out of her childhood home and make it out on her own. After all, she had a daughter to care for now.

When the girls finished eating, they had laid on the blanket soaking up the warmer Arizona sun, letting it just kiss their skin ever so slightly. Kendall had fallen asleep and Sutton wasn't far behind her. Emma sat up, "You want to go look around at apartments?"

Sutton sat up and looked at her sister, "Yeah, are you ready?" Emma nodded and the girls cleaned their spot and tossed their trash away. When Kendall was tucked securely back in her stroller, they made their way back to the car.

**A/N: Hey y'all! I need feedback. I am wrapping up this story. If y'all are liking it, I can continue it if you want. I have a little bit of a storyline that I can keep it going into another story. Especially if you guys are wanting more Sutton/Kendall interaction. It will be set a few years in the future and Kendall will be a talking toddler. So if that's something you guys want, let me know. But as usual, I don't wanna drag this on without really going anywhere with it. I have to wrap up the Olivia/Thayer issue. Plus the whole they are "siblings" thing as well. I haven't forgotten about it. I'm just trying to figure out how to bring it into the storyline. :) Anyways, leave your thoughts in the comments so I know what you guys want. **


	40. Where My Heart Belongs

"This unit is a three bedroom three bath unit. It has the two story floor plan." The sales rep said as Emma and Sutton looked around the empty all white apartment. Sutton set her sleeping daughter on the floor and walked through the kitchen, "The kitchens and bathrooms have the new model now. They used to be all white and now have this nice marble texture. The carpets are also brand new plush." She scuffed her foot across the carpet to demonstrate it's softness.

Emma sat at the solid wood dining room table. She rested her chin in her hand and looked at Sutton who was leaning against the cabinets in the kitchen, "I like it. What do you think?"

Sutton looked around. It was definitely a perk having the unit on the first floor of the complex and their back patio was right up against the lake with just enough space for Kendall to play in when she got older. The rooms upstairs were not as big as the ones at the Mercer's but they expected that, "I like it," She said and looked back at the leasing officer. "How much is this one?"

"Well right now, we have this one on special. It's twelve hundred a month and that includes your water and cable. Normally it runs for fifteen hundred a month so you will be saving about three hundred dollars a month."

Sutton nodded, "I like it, what about you Emma?" She tossed a look at her sister.

For six hundred dollars a month it wasn't too shabby. It was definitely the best of all the units they'd seen that day, "And the neighborhood is mostly families so your daughter will have plenty of friends to play with." The leasing officer got one last jab in to sway the girls' opinion.

Emma sighed, "It's definitely one of the better units we've seen for a sweet deal." She said. She crunched the numbers in her head and looked at her twin. With the money that Ted had set aside for their trust funds and the money Emma had made from her short lived job, it was definitely in their price range and it was pretty close to many good stores and a shopping mall, "Let's do it." She said.

Sutton nodded, "Alright. I think we'll take it." She said.

The leasing officer smiled and clapped her hands, "Awesome. Well let's go ahead and get your applications filled out and we can sort out a move in date." the girls followed the leasing officer out of the unit and back to the leasing office. For the first time it hit Sutton exactly what they were about to do and she had mixed feelings. Certainly not about moving out but because it was the first real grown up thing she has done since turning 18. Except for becoming a mom of course.

Kristen was just finishing a pot of stew when the girls came home, "Oh there you are!" She said with a smile, "You guys were gone so long, I was beginning to worry. Well good. Dinner is just simmering so it won't be too long now. Are you hungry?" She asked.

The girls looked at each other, neither of them ready to tell their mother they were moving out in a week. Emma smiled up at Kristen, "Starving. It smells amazing!" She said breathing in the smell of fresh bay leaf and meat. Her stomach grumbled.

Kristen smiled, "Oh good. Can you go tell Laurel it's on the table? I think she's finishing up her history project in her room." Emma nodded and headed down the hallway. Sutton lifted her daughter from her carrier seat and pressed her to her chest. The baby sucked her fingers gently.

Dinner was fairly quiet, Kristen told stories of the latest gossip at the club and Laurel complained about school and how much it sucked without her sisters there. Emma and Sutton looked at each other then Sutton spoke, "Mom? Laurel? We have something we want to tell you."

"You're pregnant?" Laurel said plainly and brought her spoon to her lips, slurping the broth letting it warm her insides.

Sutton shot her a look, "No." she snapped. Then she looked back at her mother. Kristen was quiet looking at her bowl and gently pushing the contents with her spoon. It was like she knew that Sutton was about to break her heart. Sutton drew in a breath, "Mom. Emma, Kendall and I are moving out."

Kristen's spoon dropped from her hand, the sound of the silver hitting the porcelain rang through the kitchen, "you're moving out?" she confirmed. Emma nodded, "and you're taking my baby with you?" Sutton nodded.

"She's my daughter, mom. I'm not leaving her behind." She said softly trying desperately not to make the situation worse. She shot a glance at her little sister. Laurel didn't say anything she just stared at them like they were some kind of other life form.

Hot tears pierced Kristen's eyes and she didn't even bother trying to hold back, "Where?" she sobbed.

"Not far, just down the street, the complex is Lake Vista Villas." Sutton said looking at Emma. Both of them sat uncomfortably. They knew this wasn't going to be easy and they even planned out the best way to break the news, but they knew that this was the best thing for both of them and especially for Kendall since at the moment she was sharing a room with her mom.

Kristen nodded, the complex wasn't more than a mile or two up the road, but it was still going to be difficult without Ted around and now the twins, "When are you moving out?"

"Next week." Emma's voice was soft. She looked down and tried to avoid her mother's reaction knowing that it wasn't going to be good.

Kristen pressed a hand to her mouth, "Next week?"

Laurel's mouth dropped and she looked angry, "Next week? Why so soon?"

Sutton shrugged, "the leasing officer gave us that date. Look, it's not like we won't be around. We will still be here. We just won't be living here anymore." She tried to reason with her mom and sister but she knew they were going to take the news hard.

"Great so now I'm going to be all alone. No one to talk to." Laurel sulked. She sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. Kristen looked hurt by her words but understood what she meant. Laurel shook her head, "It's not fair!" she huffed.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Laurel." Emma said even though she really wanted to smack her little sister for her selfish behavior. Instead she took another bite of her dinner, "I'm not taking anything from my room. I'm going to use the stuff from college for now, but Sutton and I need to go furniture shopping, would you want to come with us?"

Not being one to pass up a good shopping trip, Laurel sat up, "Uh, sure." She said finally seeing a silver lining in the situation. She always had an eye for interior decorating and loved when anyone was redoing a room.

"So you're not mad?" Emma asked looking down.

Laurel crossed her arms again, "No, I'm still mad. But I want to help you decorate." She said. Then she stood up, "I'm done. If you need anything I'll be in my room finishing my homework." She lifted her plate taking it to the sink, she turned and looked at her family, "Thanks for dinner, mom." Then she gave her sisters two ugly looks and stormed out of the room.


	41. When You Come Back Down

"So that went… well, right?" Emma said sitting on Sutton's bed. Sutton rocked Kendall gently as she fed her. She shot Emma a look. The evening had turned into night and the moonlight washed into her room. Kendall was kicking her legs as she ate. She blinked up at her mother and twisted her tiny fingers around her mom's shirt. Emma looked at Sutton, "Well maybe they'll get over it." She pushed herself up off the bed and stood up. She tickled Kendall's feet and watched the little girls toes curl. She smiled at the reaction and did it again, watching Kendall do the same thing again. When Kendall finished eating, Sutton sat her up. Kendall was almost able to hold her own weight in her mother's hands.

Sutton looked at Emma, "It doesn't matter. I know they are going to be mad and upset. But I can't let Kendall grow up in this room. I know that mom would love for Kendall to grow up under this roof, but it's not like we are moving across town or even out of state. Sutton stood up and moved her to the changing table. After she finished putting a clean diaper on the baby, she laid her in the crib and turned on Kendall's favorite music box. She cracked the door and followed Emma out to the living room. As she was settling into the couch she heard someone knock at the door, She pushed off the couch and opened the large wooden door. Outside Thayer stood against the wall, a foot propped under him. Her heart fluttered, "What are you doing here?" She asked.

"Can we talk?" Thayer asked pushing off the wall and looking at Sutton. Sutton looked at him for a moment before she opened the door and letting him in. He stepped into the foyer, his hand slid across her middle and she shivered under his touch. Her fingers floated to his. But she tried not to let herself fall too hard. Things with Thayer were not exactly the way she'd wanted him and even though she was crazy about him, she was still angry.

"What do you wanna talk about?" She said taking a step back and crossing her arms over her chest.

Thayer took her signals and looked down, "I want to talk to you about us. I know that things got crazy, but I'm not leaving you. I'm not leaving you Kendall." He said reaching out and touching her arm but she only recoiled, "Sutton." He whispered.

"Thayer, no." she said, "What do you mean you aren't leaving? You made your decisions."

Thayer looked at her, "You're my girlfriend. Kendall is my daughter. _This _is my family. I'm not leaving. Not anymore. I promised you I wasn't leaving and I'm sticking to that promise."

Sutton looked down, her big toe dug into the hardwood of the floor. She wanted to believe Thayer, she really did. But she just couldn't. He left once before what makes her believe that he wasn't going to do it again. Especially knowing the situation, "Thayer, your girlfriend is pregnant." Her first voice was low and slow and she avoided his gaze.

For a long moment Thayer didn't say anything. When he looked up his vision was blurred through his tears, "I know." He said simply. He blinked back his tears_, "_But I love _you._" He said stepping toward her. She shook her head and stepped back, pressing against the wall.

"It doesn't matter. You did this to yourself." She said, "Look just stay away from me and Kendall." She said she slipped past him and walked to the living room.

Thayer followed her, "Sutton, please?" He said. He picked up one of Kendall's stuffed dolls and held it in his hands. Hie fingers rubbed over the soft fabric, "I don't know what I'm going to do about Olivia and the baby. But I know how I feel about you. I know that you are everything to me. I made a huge mistake when I left you. But please Sutton. I'm sorry. We were doing so well until Olivia told me she was pregnant. But it doesn't change how I feel about you. I know I need to figure things out. And I will, but Sutton, I want to be with you."

Sutton looked down, she stifled back a sniffle and looked at him, "I love you too, Thayer." Her words made him soften. He moved closer to her and pushed a lock of her brown hair off her face. She softened in his touch and looked at him, "You need to figure out what you're going to do. I want you to be in Kendall's life so badly. But that's not going to happen if you're having a baby with another girl. And what about Alec?"

Thayer shook his head, "What about Alec?"

"Does he know about the baby?" Sutton thought about Thanksgiving and the blow up he had over accepting the baby has his granddaughter. How is he going to handle his son having a baby with another girl? She thought about her own struggles and how badly she wanted Thayer to be with him during her pregnancy. She was sure that at some point, Olivia was going to want Thayer in his kid's life.

Thayer shook his head, "Not yet. But I'll tell him. Please just don't keep me out of Kendall's life." He begged.

Sutton shook her head, "I'm not keeping you out of Kendall's life, but I'm not letting myself fall into your trap again. It kills me every time I get close to you and you run away. Bad things always happen with you, Thayer and I can't handle it. I really do love you and I want things to work out between us, but I know that will never happen." Sutton said standing up, "You are always welcome in Kendall's life. But we can't get back together." She felt herself breaking to pieces as she said that. She really wanted things to work out with Thayer, but she knew all too well that the way things were with Olivia. She led Thayer to the front door, "I'm sorry Thayer." She said softly. Her hand fell softly on his, her fingers stroking the skin of his forearm.

Thayer looked at her, "No matter what Sutton, I will always love you. Please know that." Sutton nodded softly. Thayer looked into her eyes. There was no doubt that the connection between them was intense. He leaned closer to her. She bit her lip and drew in a breath. He brushed his lips against hers and she didn't deny that she wanted it as much as he did. She pressed her lips harder against his and wrapped a hand around the back of his head, closing the gap between them. He slipped his hands around her waist and when he pulled back, his deep brown eyes met hers and butterflies flittered in her stomach like it did when she was pregnant. But this time it wasn't a baby, it was nerves, feelings and emotions coursing through her for the boy who stood so desperately close to her.

Her fingers interlaced his, "I love you too, Thay." She said, "this is hard enough as it is. Please don't make this harder." Her heart pounded in her chest.

"I won't Sutton." He looked torn but then turned towards the door. She didn't necessarily want him to leave, but she didn't protest it either. As she closed the door, she leaned against it's hard wood and sank to the ground. Her lip trembled and she bit back tears. She wiped them away as she got up, walking to her room. She pushed the door open and peered over Kendall's crib. The rise and fall of her daughters chest made her lips tremble again. She desperately wanted Thayer to be with them. To see his daughter grow up. But she knew he never would and if he did, it only be in short spurts of her life. How could he possibly be a full-time father when he had two kids with two different girls. She couldn't even imagine what Olivia was going through and yet, she knew exactly what she was going through. Fear, humiliation, loneliness. All the feelings she'd been through after Thayer decided to take off.


	42. Here's To Never Growing Up

Thayer crashed to the grass, rolling to his back in exhaust. He closed his eyes, laying a sweaty arm over his eyes shielding out the afternoon sun. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he fumbled with his jersey knit running shorts, pulling the iPhone from it's place in his pocket. When he saw Olivia's name appear across the screen he sat up, "Hey." He said, his heart pounded in his chest and this time it wasn't because of the running.

"Hey." She said. Her voice was soft. She sounded like she was distant.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked. Suddenly feeling nervous.

"Yeah. I just wanted to talk to you." She said. "I went to the doctor's today. It's a boy." she said softly. She sounded disappointed. But Thayer's heart slammed in his chest. A son. That was all he wanted when Sutton was pregnant. Even though he wasn't there to find out the sex of the baby either time. He felt a little twinge of joy at the news.

"Oh wow." He said. He didn't want to sound overly excited since she seemed really upset about it.

He was about to say something else when she spoke, "Thayer, we need to talk." SHe said.

His heart beat picked up again at the sound of her words, "Ok, about what?"

"Not now." She said, "Can you come back to Stanford this weekend? We can talk then."

"Um, yeah. I man I planned on seeing my daughter this weekend. Is it serious?" He asked brushing his palm against his shorts. Across the way a dog barked as his master threw a frisbee. He watched the dog chase after it.

"Kind of. I mean, can't you see your daughter while you're there now?"

Thayer sighed, "Not really. Things with Sutton and I aren't going well and I can't be alone with Kendall until the weekend. But if it's important, I can see her next weekend. I just don't want to keep breaking promises to Sutton."

Over the phone, he could hear her sigh heavily. He imagined her rolling her eyes. Ever since he'd met her she'd never been a fan of that name. But she was his daughter's mother. She was going to be in his life forever. And he was definitely going to be in hers.

Emma rolled over and looked out the window. It had been raining all morning. Her window's steamed with the moist hot Arizona air and the cool of the Mercer's air conditioning. Across the hallway she could hear Kendall's soft cries. She wondered where Sutton was, but when several minutes passed and the babies cries got louder and more urgent. Emma sighed and pushed the covers off her body. She stood up and walked to Sutton's room. She pushed the door open to find Sutton not there, "Sutton?" She cried out down the hall. There was no answer from anyone. She stuck her head in Sutton's room. Emma could see Kendall squirming, her fingers in her mouth covered in tears and saliva. Emma rushed to the crib, lifting the baby and pressing her to her chest. Immediately the baby stopped crying, "Shhh. Kendall. What's wrong princess?" She said. Kendall made a few fussing noises as Emma walked out to the living room. Other than the sound of the soft whirring of the ceiling fan the house was silent, "Sutton?" Still no answer. The kitchen was empty too. She peeked out the back window to see Sutton relaxing in the pool. Anger surged through her and she pulled the sliding door open, "Sutton!" Her voice was so sharp and loud it mad Sutton jump knocking her large armani sunglasses from her face and watching as they splashed into the pool.

"Damn it Emma!" She said as she watched the $300 glasses float to the bottom.

"Get over it, Sutton. What the hell are you doing out here? Kendall has been inside crying for over 20 minutes and you're out here sunbathing." She shook her head and bounced Kendall who was cuddled on her aunt's shoulder.

Sutton groaned and rolled her eyes, "I set the baby monitor on the table. I didn't hear her, I swear." Now she had pulled herself to the side of the pool and was climbing out. She wrapped a towel around her self and slid on her flip flops.

"It doesn't matter, Sutton. What if I wasn't home or asleep or just didn't hear her? You can't just leave your daughter inside while you go tanning." Emma was clearly livid, but Sutton just reached out for her child. Emma turned away so that she couldn't take her. "You can't take care of your kid, what makes you think I'm just gonna give her back to you?"

"Emma, stop! She's my daughter and she's fine." Sutton said ripping the child from Emma's arms. The baby let out a soft cry in protest.

"She's only fine because I heard her. I went in and got her. You need to stop being so irresponsible." She snapped. She turned on her heel and went back inside. Outside, Sutton cuddled Kendall to her chest.

"What's going on?" Laurel said strolling into the kitchen. Emma spun around to see her sister in a high-low chiffon aztec printed skirt and a white tank top. Her hair was pulled up in a top knot and her flip flops drug against the tile as she walked.

Emma shook her head, "Nothing. Just Sutton." She said sitting at the table.

Laurel nodded in an understanding way, "She can be incompetent at times. What is it this time?"

"Nothing. She left Kendall in the crib while she went out and tanned. It's just annoying that she assumes that everyone else will just take care of her daughter while she does whatever she wants." Emma rolled her eyes, "She's even lucky I was here. Speaking of which, where were you?" Emma cocked her head to the right and looked at her half sister.

Laurel sat at the table with her, "Went to the store with mom, but she forgot something so she dropped me off and went back out."

Emma nodded, "Hey Laurel?" Suddenly her voice was quiet and reserved. Laurel looked up at her with questioning eyes. Emma drew in a breath, "Are you really that upset about me and Sutton moving out?"

Laurel looked at her, thinking about her question. She picked at the stem of an apple that sat in the wooden fruit bowl on the table, "No." she confessed, "I mean, it sucks and it will be weird without you two here. But I understand that Sutton wants to be on her own. I just don't understand why you want to move out. I thought Ethan asked you to move in with him. Didn't you turn him down?"

Emma sighed, "Yeah, he did. But i don't know. It felt weird. It's not that I want to move out or don't, I just don't know if I am ready to live with Ethan. That scares me."

Laurel pulled the stem of the apple off absentmindedly. "Why is that so scary. You love him don't you?"

"Of course I love him. But moving in with your boyfriend is a big deal. I just want to be ready for something that drastic. Moving with my sister isn't quite as scary." She said. She rolled the silk placemat up like a burrito and then unraveled it, "Besides, I want to be with my family."

Laurel looked at her, "But you're moving out."

Emma looked at her, "I know. But at least I will still be close to Sutton and Kendall and we will be around here all the time."

Laurel looked down at the apple stem she was still rolling in her hands, "I know. I just want you to be happy. If this makes you happy then I support you." She looked up and gave her sister a smile.

Emma smiled back and looked down. It was the first time she realized that no matter what the Mercer's always stuck together. She closed her eyes thinking back to all those times she wished she had a sister to talk to like she was with Laurel. She looked back up at her sister, "Thanks Laurel." She said softly, "Let's get Sutton inside and see if she wants to go to the mall. I could use some time with my sisters."

Laurel looked out the window. Sutton was laying on the large floaty again. She cradled Kendall in her arms. Laurel looked back at Emma, "Why don't we just go alone?" She said with a smile.

It was rare for Laurel and Emma to ever hang out without Sutton around, but maybe some alone time with her little sister wouldn't be so bad. Emma gave her a smile, " Go get my keys."

Laurel smiled and stood up, "Go tell Sutton you need to run some errands. If she knows you want to go to the mall, she will want to tag along."

Emma smiled as Laurel went to Emma's room to retrieve her car keys. Emma opened the sliding door, "Hey, Sutton?" Sutton's head perked up and she looked at her sister, "I need to run some errands. I will be out for a little while so you have the house to yourself. Try not to leave Kendall alone again." She shot her sister a teasing smile, but Sutton only scowled at her. Emma let a moment pass, "Alright, well I'll be back later. You may wanna come in soon. Kendall shouldn't be exposed to all that sun." Then she slid the door shut and turned to see Laurel standing with her arm extended, the keys dangling from her index finger. Emma smiled and grabbed the keys as the two girls headed towards Emma's car.


	43. Something To Believe In

"What are you doing here?" Sutton asked pushing her back door open. Thayer stepped inside and reached out for her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she relaxed in his arms. She had just put Kendall down and she was laying on her back, her arms raised above her head and she was breathing softly. Her eyes flittered with her dreams and Thayer smiled at her. It was still an incredible sight to see. His daughter. Especially when she was slept so sweetly.

"I just wanted to see you and Kendall. I would have come by sooner, but my dad had me doing extra work at the club. How are you doing?" He asked, placing a kiss on her lips.

Sutton sighed when she pulled back, "We're fine. Better now that you're here." She smiled and Thayer leaned in again kissing her.

"Well I'm glad to be here too." He said.

She smiled and interlaced her fingers with his as she led him to her bed. She crashed onto the soft material and pulled him down with her. She rolled over on her side and rested her head in her hand, "What's going on with Olivia?"

Thayer flopped on his back and groaned, "She's still pregnant, But I'm here with you aren't I?"

Sutton nodded, true he was here with her and his daughter. But something in her made her feel like he would leave her at the drop of a hat. She flopped down and rested her head in the crook of his neck, "Promise me you won't leave?" She whispered.

Thayer dragged a finger up and down Sutton's upper arm. Goosebumps formed on her skin, "I don't want to leave, Sutton. I want to stay here, with you and Kendall."

"Then move in with me and Emma." Her voice was shaky as she waited for an answer.

"What do you mean move in with you?" He asked, "You're moving out?"

Sutton moved her head to look at him, "Emma and I are moving a few miles down the road. I want Kendall to have her own room and her own space to grow up."

"So you're moving in with your sister?" Thayer twisted his face awkwardly like he had a problem with Sutton living with Emma.

"Yeah. Ethan asked her to move in with him, but she's not ready for that kind of commitment, so she and I are renting a 3 bedroom condo not too far away. I want you to live with us. Be with Kendall." She said, she reached up and touched his chin. He kissed her fingers and gave her a smile, "Plus, we can be together."

He gave her another kiss, "I like that idea. I would love to live with you."

Sutton gave a shriek, "Awesome!" She said pushing herself up to give Thayer a kiss. She pulled back, "I love you Thayer and I know Kendall is going to love seeing her daddy more."

Thayer gave her a weak smile. He wanted to live with his girlfriend and daughter, but he couldn't help but think of Olivia. Thayer shook the thoughts and looked back at Sutton, "I love you too, baby." She rested her head against his and he kissed the top of her head. She closed her eyes and breathed in his Vintage Black cologne. He wrapped his arm protectively around her as she cuddled into him allowing herself to fall asleep.

When the sun rose the next morning, Sutton yawned. Thayer was still asleep protectively behind her. When Sutton sat up, Kendall was still asleep in her crib and for the first time in 5 months, she realized that she'd gotten a full night's sleep, "Thayer?" She whispered gently rocking his shoulder, "Thayer wake up. We fell asleep." Thayer grumbled and rolled over, opening his eyes slowly.

When he looked around the room, he sat up. "Shit!" He said, but when he checked his phone to find no missed calls from Alec. He sighed, "Well no one is worried about me. Which shouldn't be too much of a shock."

Thayer sat up against Sutton's pillows. Sutton stood over the babies crib. A flash of fear washed over her and pressed a hand to her back. When she could feel the soft breaths and rise and fall of her back, she took a breath of relief. She turned to Thayer, "This is the first time she's slept through the night. I thought she died."

Thayer smiled, "You are such an amazing mother." He said. She lifted the groggy child from her crib and pressed her to her chest. The baby let out a few annoyed cries but fell asleep on her mothers shoulder again. Sutton sat on the bed and laid the baby between them. Thayer looked at his daughter.

Sutton smiled, "Thank you." She said, then she looked at the baby. Kendall let out a soft yawn. Her eyes widened and looked at her father. Her eyes were a sparkling shade of blue. "She's looking at you, Thay." She smiled.

Thayer looked down at the baby, "Hey princess." he said. His thumb rubbed her bare leg. Her foot twitched under his touch and he smiled. He leaned down and kissed her softly. When he looked up at Sutton, she could see a glimmer of happiness in his eyes, "I'm definitely ready to be a family. I'm ready to move in with you."

Sutton looked at him, a smile on her face. Then suddenly it faded, "What about Olivia?" She asked, her voice suddenly softened and an overwhelming sadness overcame her. Every time she felt herself falling for Thayer, she remembered Olivia.

Thayer closed his eyes, "Can you please just stop talking about her?" He breathed heavily.

"Thayer, no matter what happens, if you live with me or not, Olivia is the mother of your child. Just as I'm Kendall's mom. She will always be in your life and if you're in my life then she's in my life. Beside's, Kendall's going to half a half sibling. Shouldn't they at least be able to know each other?"

Thayer looked at her. Sutton was definitely acting way more mature about all of this then he'd expected. He shrugged, "Yeah, she'll have a little brother. But why are you being so mature about this? This is not the Sutton I've known my whole life."

Sutton sighed, she looked down at her daughter, the baby had woken up now and had pulled her foot to her mouth, sucking her big toe gently. Sutton looked at Thayer, "Because this isn't about me anymore. I realize that Kendall's life is more important then me and she deserves to know her brother. I don't want her to find him when she's 17 after everyone in her life lied to her." She thought about Emma. She remembered back to when Thayer had discovered she had a twin. She remembered how betrayed she felt. How could the adoption agency only allow them to adopt one twin and not the other? She certainly didn't want her daughter to feel the same way if she knew she could control it, "I know what that feels like." She said sadly.

Thayer looked at her, He wrapped an arm around her, "Then I won't keep her out of her life. Even if they are only half-siblings."

"Yeah, but Laurel is my half sister and I would be angry if I knew she was out there and I didn't know. Remember how I felt when we found Emma?"

Thayer looked down, remembering the anger that surged through her when she found out about her twin. She had ranted about how her birth mother could do that to her and Emma. It was through looking for her birth mother that they even discovered Emma was out there. Thayer nodded at the memory, "I remember" he said.

"I just don't want her to feel that same way." She pulled on the babies onesie, knowing that soon she was going to be hungry. She lifted the baby and sat up. She prepared to feed her. When Kendall was finished eating, Sutton dressed her in a mint blue dress with red grosgrain ribbon sleeves and a cherry pattern. After putting a fresh diaper on the baby, she pulled the matching bloomers over her bottom. She sat Kendall on her bed. Lately, she'd been teaching Kendall to sit up and even though she was still falling over, she was getting better.

Thayer picked up the little girl and sat her on his lap. The faint brown hair on her head glistened in the sunlight of the late morning that washed through the room. "Hey Sutton?" Emma said poking her head in the bedroom. When she saw Thayer she gave her sister a look as if to say I know he stayed the night, but she didn't say anything. After all, Sutton had the only alternative entrance to the house that Kristen couldn't hear and she would use it to her advantage.

Sutton sat up, "Hey, what's up?"

Emma pushed the door opened, "Are you ready to go?" She asked. She had on a pair of ripped J jeans and a tank top from Brandy Melville. Her sister's Michael Kors flats completed the outfit.

"Yeah. Let me just get the diaper bag together. Do I have enough time to finish my makeup?" With all of the things she'd done with Kendall, she'd forgotten to get herself ready to go. Sutton sat at her vanity, pulling out her box full of MAC and NARS makeup. When she was finished, she looked like she'd just stepped out of a makeup ad. Her hair was perfectly curled and she put on her white ripped shorts with a three quarter sleeve mint colored blouse. She finished the outfit off with her Steve Madden sandals. She may have been a mom, but she certainly wasn't about to dress like one. When she was ready, she lifted her daughter and headed out of the house. Thayer not far behind her.


	44. A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes

Sutton sat alone at the table. The house had been empty for hours and she was beginning to get lonely. She'd pretty much checked every new tweet, Facebook post, tumblr post and instagram post even though not much had really changed. She sighed heavily and shut off her iPhone and laid her head in her arms, "Hi honey." A deep voice Sutton shot up and looked at the entrance to the kitchen.

"Daddy?" She said quietly. She rubbed her eyes. How could this be possible.

Ted smiled and moved to the table and sat down, "Yes, honey. It's me, your dad." He reached out and put his hand on hers and she looked down. Warmth ran over her and she looked back up at Ted.

"What are you doing here?" She shook her head. She pressed the heels of her palms to her eyes. But when she looked up again, Ted smiled at her.

"I just needed to see you again. Where's your sister?" His voice was gentle, just like all those times when she was a little kid and he'd read her her favorite fairytales before bed. Something about it was calming.

Sutton looked behind her even though she knew Emma wasn't around. "She's out. I'm here alone. I mean except for Kendall." She pointed out to the living room, where she'd left Kendall to sleep in her pack and play.

Ted turned to look where she was pointing and shook his head when he turned around, "That's right. You're a mom now. My little girl is growing up."

Sutton bit her bottom lip. Part of her was still skeptical that any of this could possibly be happening but she nodded, "Daddy, I'm sorry."

Ted gave his daughter's hand a squeeze, "For what baby?"

Sutton bit her lip so hard she drew blood, tasting that familiar metallic taste on her tongue, staining her teeth red. Hot tears pierced her eyes and her lip quivered, "For everything." Her voice was barely a whispered. Ted looked at his daughter and rubbed her hand with his thumb.

He shook his head, "No baby. Don't." His voice was just as quiet as hers.

She only shook her head, "No!" She protested, feeling a tear fall down her cheek. She brushed it away with her free hand. Outside coyotes howled and crickets chirped. The wind chimes Kristen had hanging on the patio for as long as Sutton could remember chimed in the gentle evening breeze. "It's my fault. I never should have let you leave the cabin." She looked down at the table for a fear of looking at the pain in her fathers face. "I screwed everything up." By now her face was three shades of red. Her face was pinched and she was coughing up tears that fell faster.

Ted gave his daughter's hand a squeeze. He reached out and gently placed his finger under her chin, forcing her to look up at him. The pain in his child's face killed him, but he remained calm, "Sutton Penelope Mercer listen to me ok?" Those words. They were the same words he'd start almost every life lesson lecture when she was growing up. Warmth filled her and she nodded, "You had nothing to do with what happened. Things happen for a reason. You didn't screw anything up. I need you to know that you didn't do this to me, ok? I know it may seem like if only you did this then that wouldn't have happened, but none of us knew that that truck driver was going to run the red light that night. You couldn't have known that beforehand, baby. You couldn't have saved me."

Sutton's body felt like it was on fire. Her whole body shook with upset. She stifled in some deep breaths desperately trying to calm herself down, "But you didn't have to die. You were doing so well and then it was like in a flash," She paused closing her eyes and seeing every memory of that night flash before her, the doctors swarming his bed, yelling at her to leave and Mads' dragging her out of the room. She looked up, "You were gone." Her voice was a whisper. Her deep brown eyes sparkled beneath her tears, eyes bloodshot.

Ted reached out for his daughter, pulling her into him. "I know it seems like it's unfair and believe me, I feel it too. But please know that I'm not gone. Not for good. I was beside you with your mom and sister during Kendall's birth. I wasn't going to let death stand in the way of seeing my granddaughter come into the world." Sutton rested into her dads embrace, she breathed hard still so worked up, "And you know what?"

She looked up at him, her brown eyes meeting his blue ones, "What?"

Ted reached up and stroked a few strands off of his daughter's face, "I've been with you everyday since I passed."

Sutton gave him a strange look, "What do you mean?" She asked cocking her head a little.

"I am not ready to leave you forever sweet heart and I've been waiting for the right time to tell you, but you've been so busy with the baby and Thayer and your sister, I just didn't have the chance to tell you." He reached out for Sutton's hands, interlacing his fingers in hers.

"You've been with me?" She asked, confused and slightly concerned, "What about Emma?"

"I'm with her too. I know it seems strange but I just want to protect you. You're my daughters and I love you." Ted cupped his hands around his daughters jawline and kissed her forehead, lingering on her soft skin for a moment before pulling back.

Just at that moment, a softly cry from the other room caused Sutton to break the moment, "That's Kendall." She said, as if it could be anyone else.

"She's getting big Sutton and before you know it she's going to be an adult. Just like my own baby. I can't believe that you're grown up now, it went by so fast. Cherish these times with her. Even when things get hard, know that these moments don't last. I love you Sweetheart. I'm proud of the woman you've become. I gave you a beautiful miracle, Sutton. That little girl is a special gift. A reminder that I'm always with you." Now Ted had tears falling from his cheeks.

"You gave me, Kendall?" She said, her glossy eyes stared at him. The grandfather clock in the study chimed twice.

Ted nodded, "I gave her to you as a gift. Please tell her who her grandfather was and that he loves her very much." He wiped a tear away and squeezed her hand, "Tell Emma that I love her too. And Laurel and your mom. I miss you all immensely. But I'm never too far away." Sutton nodded.

"Sutton?!" A voice from the foyer called out.

Sutton shot up, running to the entrance to the kitchen, "Emma! Emma, come here! Dad's here!" She shouted. But when Sutton looked back, Ted had moved to the patio, looking in on his family, a gentle smile on his face.

"Sutton?" Emma said, she reached out and touched her sister, giving her a gentle shake, "Sutton, wake up?"

Sutton shook her head, "I am awake." She said.

"Sutton, wake up, Kendall is crying and this is really getting irritating." Emma said shaking her again.

Sutton shot her, pain coursing through her neck. She reached a hand around her neck, "Ow." she muttered.

Emma looked at her, "Can you go deal with your daughter. You really need to stop sleeping when she cries."

"Where's dad?" Sutton asked looking around.

Emma looked at her like she was speaking another language or she'd somehow gone crazy, "Sutton, are you serious? Dad's dead, remember?"

Sutton stood up, she pushed passed her sister to the back door. The patio light's lit up the porch, but Ted was nowhere to be found. Sutton turned and looked at her twin, "He was here, Emma. I saw him."

Emma put down the bag that she'd been holding and walked to Sutton and placed her hands on both her shoulders, "You were dreaming Sutton and I know how badly you miss him, but you know he's not coming back. Ever." Her own words pinged in her heart and she blinked back tears.

Sutton shook her head and pushed out of Emma's grasp, "No! He was here, Emma. I talked to him." she moved to the table and stood by the chair that he was sitting in, "He was sitting right here and he told me that he was in the delivery room the day I gave birth to Kendall. Emma he was there. He told me that she was his gift to me." she shook her head, knowing how dumb she must look right now, "It was real, Emma. As real as this is right now. He told me how much he loves you and misses you. Emma please believe me."

Tears filled Emma's eyes and she shook her head, "I want to Sutton, really I do." She took a step towards her sister.

Angry raged through Sutton and she shook her head, "No, Emma. I know what you're going to say so spare me." She held up a hand, "I know what I saw was real and if you don't want to believe me that's fine. But dad was here. He's always been there. That's more than you can say for Rebecca now isn't it?" And with that said, she turned on her heels but stopping just before the kitchen entrance. She turned sharply to stare down her twin sister, "He told me that he's proud of me. Of you, and of us." She brushed another tear off her cheek and turned to get Kendall from the living room. Emma just stood there. She wanted so badly to believe her sister. After all, they did used to play together in their dreams and that was as real them as anything else in this world. Perhaps she had seen their father. Jealousy ran through her. He'd never come to her from the after life. She had wanted so badly just to see her dad one last time, at least to get to say a proper goodbye. Maybe if he came to Sutton, he would come to her too.

**A/N: Sorry this update didn't come as quickly as they normally do. I went out of town for the weekend and was super busy. But I really wanted to take some time and focus on this chapter because there was so much emotion that needed special focus. I hope it came out well and that you liked it. Let me know your thoughts! Thanks as always for reading! Xoxo.**


	45. Begin Again (part one)

Sutton sat alone in her room. Her blue walls were bare now, not much left of the little girl who once lived there. A pile of U-Haul boxes stacked along one wall. Even though she was leaving most of her big furniture behind, her room seemed baron. Kendall's crib was now in pieces in a stack on the floor beside her. So much had happened in this room. Her first kiss with Ethan. Her first heart break. All those sleepovers with Char and Mads. This room held so many secrets. Including the secret of the twins. Kendall was sitting in a bouncy chair, flashing stars held her attention just long enough for her to tape up as many boxes as she could. Most all of her little knick knacks, picture frames, books and other decorative things had been boxed up and taped and she was just finishing off the last few. Her clothes were in piles now, dresses in one stack, nice shirts and pants in another. All of her lesser cared for clothing was already boxed like pajama's and work out clothes were piled up in the corner, "Hey." Emma said softly, knocking at her sisters door.

Sutton looked up, "Oh hey." She said, she grabbed her marker and wrote 'Sutton's room' on the side.

Emma entered her room and sat cross legged on the floor nest to Kendall. She rubbed her niece's soft skin gently, "I'm sorry about last night. I should have believed you."

Sutton looked at her sister, "Don't worry about it. I know that it seems crazy, but I know he was there." Her voice was soft and she looked around her room, avoiding her sister's gaze but also to make sure she wasn't leaving anything behind.

Emma reached out and put her hand on her sisters knee, "I believe you, Sutton. After all, we used to hang out in our dreams together."

Sutton looked back at her sister. She had forgotten about their childhood dreams, things back then seemed so innocent and carefree. Now it seemed like life was all about deadlines and caring for her daughter. Though being an adult had it's perks, she definitely started to miss childhood, "I forgot about those times. I miss that." She smiled.

Emma smiled, "Me too. But I think I like this better. Being here with you and mom and Laurel." Kendall kicked against her hand and she looked down, "And of course Kendall." She smiled down at the baby. "Do you wanna get something for lunch? You look like you could use a break."

Sutton stood up and stretched. Her shirt was tied halfway up her midriff and she untied it, letting the fabric fall over her body, "Yeah. Let me just get cleaned up. Would you be so kind as to change Kendall's diaper?"

Emma looked at her niece, "Of course." She undid the safety straps on the chair and lifted the baby, She held her over her head and made a funny noise. Kendall let out a laugh and Sutton sorted through the pile of clothes in the corner. She went to her bathroom while Emma put the baby on the changing mat on the floor. Now that most of Kendall's furniture was in pieces ready for the move, they had been forced to change her on the floor or on Sutton's bed. Sutton even had Kendall sleep on her bed with her, but that only led to restless nights for fear that she will lay on top of her daughter. But it was all they could do until they were able to move into the new apartment in a few days.

When they arrived at one of Sutton's favorite seafood places. She sat Kendall in a high chair. She was finally able to sit up on her own with the assistance of a high chair. She held her little purple doll, sucking on the soft cloth. There was not a place that Sutton could go with her daughter that the doll didn't go with them. If ever she left the doll at home, Kendall would pitch a fit and there was really nothing Sutton could do to calm her down. But today she was quietly chewing on her doll. Sutton reached into her Chanel handbag, pulling out a small jar of strained peas and a pink rubber spoon. She opened the jar and stirred the contents, wincing at the smell. Emma laughed, "Let me smell." she said. Sutton waved the jar under her sisters nose and Emma winced and laughed, "That smells horrible. How could she possibly eat that?"

Sutton reached and took the doll from her daughters strong hands. At first Kendall resisted, turning away from her mother's gesture. Sutton grabbed the doll and immediately Kendall began to cry, filling the relatively quiet room with her screams. Sutton stirred the peas again and brought the spoon to her lips, letting her taste the contents. When she realized what it was, she calmed down, allowing Sutton to give her more of the food, "I don't even know, but she clearly loves it." Though Kendall was still thrusting some of the mushed peas from her mouth, she was at least gladly accepting the spoonfuls of food, Sutton was feeding her.

By the time Kendall had finished eating, their food had arrived. Sutton gave her daughter the doll and closed the jar of baby food, setting it aside, "Thank God," She said, "Solid food." Kendall sucked the doll and banged it against the side of her high chair. When she'd drop the doll, she'd cry and Sutton would lean over, pick it up and gave it back to her daughter, calming her cries. But the more Kendall did this, the more irritated Sutton got with having to pick up the doll. It made eating a difficult task.

When Sutton got irritated with Kendall dropping the doll, she lifted it one last time and set it aside out of Kendall's reach. When Kendall realized this, she began to cry. Sutton sighed heavily, "You keep dropping it, I'm done picking it up. So you can cry all you want." She told Kendall and ate another french fry.

"So are you ready to move?" Emma asked, desperately ignoring her niece's cries.

Sutton shrugged looking down at her plate, "I mean, I get that it's time to move on, but everything I've ever known has been in that house. I know it might be easier for you cause you're used to moving around." When Emma looked down at her food, Sutton realized just what she said and she reached out for her sisters hands, "Oh, Emma. I didn't mean it like that."

Emma nodded, "I know. It's never easy though. I get it." She said looking up at Sutton.

"I've never moved before. I've never had to adjust to a new room in a new place." She said, cutting a piece of her balsamic salmon with her fork. She lifted the piece of fish and ate it.

"It's not always easy at first, but eventually you get used to it and it becomes home. It will take some time, but I will at least be with you. You don't have to do it alone." She said.

Sutton nodded and looked down, "Speaking of being alone. Would you be mad if Thayer stayed with us?" She asked, hoping her sister would be okay with the plans she'd made with Thayer without consulting her sister first.

Emma looked at her, "I know he's Kendall's dad. But we only have three rooms. Unless-" She hinted giving Sutton a questioning look.

"Well, I mean he can stay in my room." she said, then she pointed at her, "And Ethan can stay over anytime he wants. I just want Kendall to grow up with her parents. I want her to have as normal of a life as I can give her at 18."

Emma nodded, understanding that she just wanted Kendall to have normal life, "I don't mind it. But I don't think Ethan is going to be all that about staying over with a baby and my sister in the other room."

"I get it." Sutton said looking down.

Emma looked at Sutton, "Besides he has his own place now. Maybe I will stay there some nights. You know to give you and Thayer time together." She raised her eyebrows up and down, "If you know what I mean."

Sutton gave her sister a look of shock, "I'm not sleeping with Thayer!" She protested.

Emma took a sip of her soda, "Sure you're not. And I'm not sleeping with Ethan either." she shook her head, "Just you know, wrap it before you tap it, cause one child is enough."

Sutton raised her eyebrows in agreeance, "that's an understatement." She said. Then she looked at her sister, "I think a brother is enough for her right now."

"A brother?" Emma asked giving her a confused look, "Are you pregnant, Sutton?"

Sutton looked at her, then she remembered she'd never even told Emma about Olivia or the fact that she was pregnant with Thayer's son. She drew in a breath and pushed a fry around her ketchup cup, "No. But when Thayer left, he had dated another girl. She's having a baby boy. So he will be Kendall's half brother."

Emma shook her head, "Wait, what? He's having _another_ child?" Sutton nodded. Emma shook her head half in disbelief and half in disgust, "Wow. What a classy man. Two kids in under a year." then she stopped and thought about it for a moment and when she looked up at her sister, her face was soft and worried, "How is this going to effect you and most of all Kendall?"

Sutton shrugged, " i don't know. I live in constant fear that he is going to leave me. It's scary."

"I bet it's scary. But Sutton it's not healthy to live like that. I know you want Kendall to know her father and trust me I do too, but not at the expense of your happiness." She said taking another sip of her soda.

"Are you ladies ready for the check?" Their waitress asked temporarily breaking their conversation.

The girls both looked up at her, "Yeah." Sutton said when she realized they were pretty much finished with their food. SHe knew she could push Kendall so far before she'd get cranky fighting off sleep.

The waitress smiled, "Is this on one check or separate?"

"One check is fine." Sutton said. The waitress smiled and then turned to walk away. After she left, Sutton looked back at her sister. "I know that it's not fair to me, but I love Thayer and he's Kendall's dad. She at least deserves to know him."

"I know that. But do you want her to feel the same you do? Afraid that he will leave at any given moment?"

"No. But I want her to know who he is." Sutton said as the waitress dropped off the check, she grabbed her wallet from her purse and pulled out her credit card and handed back to her, " I don't want her to grow up wondering who he is and why he's not around."

Emma nodded, "Believe me, I know. But this situation, someone is going to lose in the end. Even if Thayer stays with you, then his son will never know who his dad is."

Sutton shook her head sighing heavily. An overwhelming sadness overcame her and she looked at Emma, knowing she was right, "I hate that I let this happen. How could I have been so stupid?" She asked.

Emma shook her head, "No, Sutton. Don't say that. Even if things aren't ideal, you still have Kendall."

Sutton looked at her daughter who was starting to rub her eyes an indication that she was about to get cranky if they didn't leave soon. She unstrapped her from her high chair and stood up, grabbing her purse. Emma did the same, "I know that I got Kendall out of all of this and I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world. But still, I wish Thayer never left. We wouldn't be in this situation if he had just stayed." Kendall rubbed her face against Sutton's shoulder, yawning softly and Sutton knew she wouldn't make it home before Kendall passed out.

Emma climbed in the car and buckled her seat belt while Sutton strapped the half sleeping Kendall in her car seat. When she got into the driver's seat, Emma looked at her, "You can't think of life in the what-ifs. Everything would have been better if Thayer had stayed, but he didn't. At least he came back and is making some kind of effort to be a better father."

Sutton looked at her twin, "I know but still. I know that he is trying. It just sucks."

Emma nodded, "It does suck. But at least we have an apartment to live in, food to eat and each other. Life could always be worse. I could always be living on the streets by now."

"That's what happens in foster care? They just kick you out?" Sutton said turning from the main road into their neighborhood. In the backseat, Kendall was fast asleep. She barely made it out of the parking lot before she succumbed to sleep, gently sucking on her fingers.

Emma nodded, "I could have gone to college, but i wouldn't have been able to afford it and I got here before i applied for scholarships. If I didn't get full ride, I wouldn't have been able to afford college. If I didn't, I would have been on the streets."

Sutton shook her head, the thought of her sister being homeless angered her, "Well I'm glad we found each other." she said. She lifted her daughters car seat and carried the sleeping baby inside the house, not even bothering to take her out of the chair.

Emma smiled, "I'm glad we did too. My life is a thousand times better knowing my family loves me and wants me." She gave her sister a hug and then she looked at Sutton, "Maybe we should finish getting your room packed."

Sutton groaned, "The faster we move, the better." She said following her sister down the hallway to her room.

**A/N: Hey guys! Hope you liked the chapter! So I have a weird question cause I'm weird like that. When you guys read my story (or any TLG story) do you guys see the actors of the show in your head? I do kinda when I write but when I read the books, I didn't see Alex as Emma and Sutton. They looked more like Alexis Bledel (Rory from Gilmore Girls). Anyways, let me know. I'm curious! :) Thanks for reading as always. Xoxo**


	46. Begin Again part 2

46. Begin Again pt 2: The beginning of the end.

Emma turned the key to the apartment. They had been living on their own for a month now. The entrance to apartment had an in wall nook, a bowl where they kept their keys and wooden block that said "HOME" on it, a gift from Kristen when they moved in, sat next to the bowl. She dropped her keys in the bowl and dragged the canvas grocery bags in from the hallway. She set them on the dining room table, the next immediate room from the front door. To her left, a hallway with stairs led to the upstairs bedrooms. One which was hers and one which was Kendall's. Next to the stairs, a white bedroom door was closed, an 'S' on the door. Sutton's room. The living room was decorated in a pink, black, white and zebra printed decor. A black leather couch sat along the opposite wall, a hot pink and zebra throw blanket draped over one side. Sparkly hot pink and black throw pillows stacked on the other side. The adjacent wall sat a window that was closed at the moment. on each side of the wall, Sutton's cube shelves from her old room at the Mercer's sat next to the windows. One had her old picture frames, some wicker baskets of old movies and CD's from her collection. The other shelf held baskets full of Kendall's toys. Many of which she was still too young to play with. The walls were painted white except for one accent wall, Sutton had Thayer and Ethan paint black for them. On the wall, Thayer hung up their new flatscreen TV they bought when they moved out. On either side of the TV, Sutton hung up two wall lights. Underneath the TV was a small entertainment center, two small speakers sat on the top along with an array of picture frames from both Sutton and Emma's old rooms. The apartment was extra quiet which probably meant Sutton wasn't home.

Emma took the bag and began to unpack the food she'd bought. Jars of baby food, pureed fruits in a pouch. Boxes of instant oatmeal. Rice milk. A mix of different fruits as requested by Sutton. She put the food away and then grabbed her phone and headed to her room. She pushed open the door and crashed onto her bed. As usual, her bed was perfectly made and her room was spotless. The only thing out of place was an empty bottle she'd set on her bedside table after she fed Kendall while Sutton showered that morning. Even though she didn't like it sitting there she was too tired to move it. She pushed herself against her pillows and slid her phone on. She dialed a familiar number and waited for an answer, "Hey." She said after a moment.

"Hey beautiful." Ethan said, she could practically hear Ethan's smile in his voice, "How have you been?"

"Fine now that we're settled in the new place. How about you? How's the new digs?" She said pulling a throw blanket over her bare legs.

Ethan sighed, "It's good here. Kinda lonely. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I kind of miss Dan."

Emma gasp playfully, "Wow, Ethan. I don't think I'd ever live long enough to hear you say that."

"Yeah, I didn't think I'd live long enough to say that. But I don't have a sister to live with. So it gets lonely here." He said. He was sitting on the couch of his own apartment. Unlike Emma and Sutton's luxurious apartment, his was small, one bedroom. But it was big enough for one person to live in. Even though he kept his apartment in order, it was evident that a male resided there. The living room was full of mismatched furniture, things he'd found online for dirt cheap or free in move-out sales. Video game boxes were scattered all over the place. The walls were decorated with movie posters from The Fast and The Furious and various superhero movies that he had scored from a local movie store for free.

"Well do you wanna come over here? I'm gonna make roast chicken and garlic mashed potatoes for dinner. I know how much you like that." She enticed.

"Babe, you don't have to hold the promise of delicious food over my head to get me to come over." Then he paused for a moment, "But it's not like I won't turn down my fiancé's home cooking. I'll head out after a shower. I love you."

Emma smiled, happy to finally get to see Ethan for more than just needing strong arms to move and lift things, "I love you too." When she hung up the phone, she pushed off her bed and headed to the shower.

When she came out, she was wearing her plush robe and her hair was wrapped in a towel. Now, Sutton was sitting at the table. She had Kendall in a booster seat and was feeding her a jar of squash and ham. Emma grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and joined her sister at the table, "Ethan's gonna come over for dinner, if that's ok?" She took a swig of her water.

Sutton stirred the contents of the food in the jar and brought another spoonful to Kendall's lips. The baby accepted the spoon and gummed the contents. Sutton looked at her twin, "Yeah, that's fine. Thayer was coming by after work anyways. Maybe we can do a movie night or something."

Emma smiled, "Sounds good. I'm gonna finish getting dressed and start dinner." She said standing up. She was heading back up the stairs when someone knocked at the door, "Hey, Ethan come in." She said loud enough for him to hear.

"Hey." He said when he entered the apartment. He slipped off his pair of black Toms and gave Sutton a warm smile.

"Hey Ethan." She said as she wiped some of the squash off of Kendall's face. "Emma went to get dressed."

Ethan smiled, "Thanks." He said and headed up the stairs. He knocked softly on Emma's door, "Babe, are you in here?"

Emma hopped to the door, her skinny jeans sticking to her damp legs. She opened the door and hopping back to the closet, pulling them up. She turned to look at him, only a pair of pants and a black lace bra on, "Hey." She said smiling.

"Hello to you too." He said smiling, eyeing his fiancé. He held up a hand, "You don't need to put a shirt on."

"Ha. Ha." She said mocking him. "I don't think Sutton will appreciate me topless as much you do." But she gave him a kiss, lingering on his lips his arms wrapped around her waist and closed the space between them. When she pulled back she smelled the scent of his AXE soap on his skin and she groaned, "Damn it." she cursed knowing she had to pull away and start dinner, "Save that thought." She said holding up a finger. She slipped past him and grabbed the shirt she'd pulled from her closet. She gave him one last kiss before she opened the door and headed down to the kitchen. When she got downstairs, Thayer had come by and was sitting on the floor with Kendall, "Hey, Thayer." She said.

Thayer looked up at her, Ethan trailed behind her, "Hey Emma. Hey Ethan." He said, "I hear you're making an Emma specialty."

Emma smiled, "Maybe not a specialty, but it's one of my favorite meals." She said. She turned on the light to the kitchen. Ethan helped her get the food prepared. While Emma and Ethan cooked, Sutton took Kendall upstairs for a bath. By the time she'd bathed, changed and rocked Kendall to sleep, dinner was being placed on the table.

Most of the meal was filled with laughter, a friendly camaraderie had developed between Ethan and Thayer now that the feelings for the twins were settled. "Emma that was amazing." Sutton said sitting back against the wooden kitchen chairs.

"Yeah, babe that was Amazing. I'm glad I'm marrying a woman who can cook." Ethan said wiping his face.

Emma smiled, "Thanks." she said bashfully. She stood up and grabbed the dishes, "Sutton go set up the movie while I wash the dishes." Sutton nodded and got up.

At that moment a buzz in Thayer's pocket made him jump. He pulled out his phone and looked at t he caller ID, "I gotta get this." He said slipping into Sutton's room. When he came back out moments later his face was flush, eyes glazed over. "I need to go." He said plainly.

Sutton looked up at him, "What do you mean you need to go? Thayer? Are you okay?" She looked at him but he looked like he was in a trance.

"I'm sorry." He said his face softened some, "Emma thanks for dinner. I'll be over again soon."

Sutton grabbed Thayer's arm, "thayer, what's wrong? Please talk to me." She begged. Tears dotted her cheeks.

When Thayer saw that his face softened, "Olivia is in labor." He shook his head. A lump formed in Sutton's throat. It wasn't that she wasn't expecting this, but the fact that he was going to be there for her when she would have given anything for him to have been there when Kendall was born.

She nodded, "Ok." She said softly. Blinking away her tears.

Thayer knew this was hard on her, but something in him told him he needed to go. After all, he missed his daughter's birth. He wasn't going to miss his son's. He grabbed his keys and gave Sutton a kiss, "I'm sorry, baby. I'll make it up to you. I promise." Then with that he said good-bye, thanked Emma one last time for dinner and headed out the door. Sutton stood there not knowing the next time she'd see him again.


	47. Happy Birthday, Baby

**A/N: Hey guys! I want to thank you all for your support in reading this! I really enjoyed writing it! This is the last chapter, but I started a third installment (my last in this series I think) So I will be posting that soon! It will take place a few years later when Kendall is a little older. I really wanted to explore that relationship. Also, I will be focusing on Ethan and Emma's wedding. I don't know yet what I will call the story, but I will post it soon so keep an eye out! :) **

Sutton looked up at the dining room table. A large pink frosted cake with the words "Happy First Birthday, Kendall" were written in cursive white frosting. Hard sugar flowers adorned the corners of the cake. Three black and pink balloons were taped to the overhead light, streamers draped outward to each corner of the room. Even though she knew that Kendall wouldn't remember her first birthday, she still wanted it to be perfect. She had wrapped several presents in shiny black and pink paper. When she heard Kendall's soft cries from the baby monitor, she dashed up the stairs and carefully pushed open her daughters door, "Hey princess!" She said looking over the crib, "Happy birthday sweetheart." Part of Sutton's heart broke when she realized it had been a year already. But as she looked at this sweet baby that she'd mostly raised on her own, she felt a bittersweet tear fill her eyes, "Get it together Sutton." She told herself, but she knew she was too far gone to even begin to hold herself together. She managed to change Kendall's diaper and dress her in the hot pink sparkly party dress that Kristen had bought for her birthday. Kendall's hair had grown in more and was a defined shade of brown. She clipped a small flower to a tuft of Kendall's hair even though she knew that it wouldn't last more than a few minutes.

Downstairs, Emma was sorting presents on the table and Ethan was sitting on the couch. When he saw Sutton come down with Kendall, he jumped up, "Happy Birthday, Kendall!" He said in a sing song kind of voice.

Emma spun around and threw some pink and black party confetti over her niece, "Happy birthday baby doll!" She shouted. Even though Kendall had no clue what was going on, she smiled at her aunt.

Sutton set Kendall down in the living room and helped Emma finish the decorations, "Mom and Laurel will be here at 3 so we have to get things done before then." She said clapping her hands. Behind her, Kendall had gotten a firm grip on the coffee table. She was able to lift herself up, but hadn't grasped the concept of walking yet. Part of Sutton was ready for her daughter to be mobile and the other was missing her infant.

"What about Thayer?" Emma asked unsure of the water she was treading in. She sprinkled some of the confetti over the paper table cover, carefully she looked up at Sutton, but to her own shock she seemed surprisingly calm.

"I called him, but he didn't call me back. I haven't seen him since Olivia had the baby. But I hope he comes celebrates his daughter's first birthday." She said taping a Happy Birthday banner to the wall. On the table, she'd set two photo's one of the day she was born and one from the night before, during playtime she got a few belly laugh's out of Kendall. Looking at Kendall it seemed as if not much has changed except that she'd gotten progressively bigger and her brown hair had set in. But when Sutton looked at both photo's she was shocked at just how much Kendall had grown in a year. Not just in her chubbiness, but her eyes had set on a sparkling shade of blue that Sutton knew she'd be jealous of if they stayed that way. Her brown hair was more defined and she had gone from this fragile to infant to this rough and tumble one year old who could take a fall like nobodies business. She felt a tear pierce her eyes but she blinked them away. It's a celebration, she told herself. But still a bittersweet celebration. She was so caught up in her emotions, she hardly noticed a soft tug on her jeans and she looked down. Kendall was using the leg of her jeans to lift herself up. Sutton smiled and picked up the baby, "Hey birthday girl. Are you ready for your birthday party?" She pushed the little wisp of hair to one side and pretended to give her daughter little bites. Kendall let out a laugh. Just as much as Kendall had grown in the last year, she knew that she too had grown more than she ever would if she'd gotten pregnant. Just as she was about to set Kendall back down, she heard a loud knock at her door. She gave Kendall a surprised look, "I think that's Grammy and Auntie Laurel. Let's go check." She said walking to the door. Sure enough there was Kristen and Laurel two huge smiles on their faces.

Laurel held a large wrapped present and set it on the table, "Gimme the birthday girl." She said reaching out for her niece.

Sutton looked at Kendall and gave her a sympathetic look, "Sorry kid, get used to it cause you're gonna get passed around a lot today." Then she kissed her cheek and passed her to her little sister.

After a while, Emma looked at Sutton. Kristen was playing a game of peek-a-boo with Kendall on the living room floor, Laurel and Ethan were chatting about the wedding and the twins were alone at the kitchen table, "So I guess he really is going to miss her birthday. How could he?" Sutton sighed. She looked over at her daughter, she was completely innocent and yet she felt like this was going to take the most of her just as it did to Sutton when she was little.

Emma put her hand on her sisters, "I don't understand it either. If I had a daughter, I'd kill a person to make it to her first birthday. But then again, I had 14 of them hoping that my mom would miraculously show up and rescue me from the hell I had lived. It's not fair, Sutton."

Just as Sutton was wiping tears away, someone knocked softly on the door and then it was hoping, "Hello? Sutton."

Sutton's eyes glistened behind her tears, "Thayer?" A smile crept over her lips and she jumped up, "Thayer! You came!" She rushed into his arms and pressed her lips to his.

Thayer pulled back and looked at her, "Of course I came. Your daughter only turns one once." He said. He handed her a wrapped gift, "Here. I didn't know what to get a one year old. But maybe she'll like it."

Sutton smiled, "Anything her dad gets her she will love. Come on in. there's chips and dip on the table and we ordered some chinese food." She clapped her hands, "I'm so glad you came!"

Thayer looked at her, "It's been to long Sutton. I forget how much I miss you guys until I come back and realize I've missed too much. I feel like I haven't been there enough for Kendall." He said sitting at the table next to Emma. He gave her a warm smile and she returned the gesture. Sutton picked up her daughter and put her in Thayer's lap. The baby looked up at her father and smiled. He gave her a soft kiss on the forehead, "Happy birthday Kendall." He said it was hard to imagine that almost two years ago, his life had changed completely the night that Sutton told him she was pregnant. Now he held his one year old. She made an unintelligible noise and laughed. Thayer tried mocking her words but she just pointed out into the room at nothing in particular. Thayer looked out at what she was pointing at, "What?" He asked. But Kendall just looked at him, holding her hand out in an i don't know manner. Thayer smiled, he'd missed more than just time with Kendall, but the last time he'd even seen his daughter, she was barely sitting up and now not only could she sit up on her own, she was learning to stand on her own.

After a while, a knock on the door sounded, "Oh it must be the food." Sutton said grabbing her wallet off the bar. But when she opened the door, she was shocked to see who stood there.

"Hey? I heard it's someone's first birthday." They said.

"Mads!" Sutton said surprised. Thayer and Emma both looked up at Sutton.

"Mads?" Thayer said standing up. He put Kendall on the floor and she crawled back towards Kristen and Laurel in the living room.

Mads stood at the front door, a small gift in hand, "I wouldn't miss my niece's first birthday." She said stepping into the apartment foyer. She gave Sutton a hug. She walked further into the apartment and placed her gift on the dining room table.

"Mads! You came!" Emma saith a smile. She wrapped her arms around her friend.

"I left school a little early to make it." She said looking around the room. When she spotted Kendall she walked to her, lifting her up and resting her on her hip. The baby gave her a look and reached for her nose, giving it a squeeze, "Ow, Kenz." She said pushing the babies hand off her face. "I know it's your birthday, but you can't just abuse your auntie Mads, ok?" Then she kissed the babies cheek. Kendall squirmed in Mads arms, a clear indication that she wanted to be put down. Mads let her down and looked over her shoulder, finally seeing Thayer for the first time. She smiled and stuck out her arms, "Hey big brother. You came!" She said wrapping her arms around her brothers shoulders.

"Of course I came," Thayer said when he pulled back, " It's my daughter's birthday. How could I miss that?"

Mads looked down, "Well you've missed a lot of things in that girls life. Including the day she was born." She mumbled.

Thayer craned his neck at her, "Excuse me?"

Mads looked up and gave her brother a smile, "Nothing. Just glad you came." She said moving to the living room.

After several minutes, Sutton car out of the kitchen with a lighter, "Let's go ahead and have some cake." She announced. Everyone gathered around the table. Kristin held Kendall. As Sutton lit the single birthday candle, everyone broke into song. Sutton looked out into the group of people she called her family. Looking back, she couldn't remember why she was so scared to tell them about her pregnancy. When Kristen snuggled into her granddaughter as they blew out the candle, and Thayer who gave Kendall her very first piece of cake. She watched the baby smash the cake into her face, letting out a laugh. Sutton knew that even though her life didn't turn out perfect, and people had lied to her, when it came down to it, they were there for each other through thick, thin and celebrations in between. She kissed the top of her daughter's head, "Happy birthday Kendall. I love you." She said softly brushing a tear from her cheek.


End file.
